Foster parents statement at TPR hearing?

[IncompetentHousewife]

A termination of parental rights hearing is scheduled soon for our foster son (on both parents). They opted for a jury trial. My husband and I received a summons to appear at the trial with the baby.

I'm wondering if others can share their experiences about what to expect at this trial. This is our first foster child and we would like to adopt him. Any general experiences will really help me mentally prepare. I also have some specific questions.

1. Our worker said sometimes the judge asks the foster parents at the end if they have anything to say. A LOT comes to mind, but what might I give as my statement if given the opportunity? I want to write it down now so I'm prepared just in case.

2. The birthfather has a lengthy criminal and psychiatric record. We live in a very small community and it is not at all unlikely that we will run into him someday. I'm worried about him knowing who we are. We have bio children to protect as well. We wrote letters last month to the child's court-appointed attorney and the prosecutor letting them know we'd like our privacy to be maintained as much as possible, but haven't heard back. An attorney friend tells us they probably can't avoid giving our first names and having him see our faces. Any ideas here? We did request that they ask the judge for a personal protective order so the father can't contact the child. (I should add that we know about one of the families who adopted one of this man's previously removed children and he has not attempted to contact them.)

3. I've read in previous posts where a couple people said that when a case goes to TPR, it is usually granted. Really? We're trying not to get our hopes up too high. Baby has two visits with mother per week, none ever with the father — if that makes a difference.

Thanks!

[Polliwog]

I testified at my STBAD's birth father's TPR. I thought I was just sitting in but the County's attorney and the DSS supervisor asked me to testify. So, I did. I had only met him a few times and Polliwog had only met him once (at their goodbye visit.) I was asked a million questions but nothing that I didn't know the answer to. After the termination was granted, we all sat in a room and we talked about visitation after her adoption (which I'm very interested in.) He seems like a very caring man and if circumstances had been different he could have raised her with his family's help.

[Thandiwe]

Sometimes it doesn't go through. In our state, things seem to be shifting a little. Honeslty, I even know of a couple of cases, just in our home county where baby is from, where tpr was appealed - and won. Two cases just in the last year that I know of. There's no cut and try.

As for privacy, I don't blame you. We still live anonymously in the city we moved to, and we will NOT be releasing our address to anyone in the family at all so it will stay that way. I'm sorry you have to go through this; that's the stinky part. I have a friend who just a week and a half ago had to be escorted from the building after a visit because the bio father (though not listed on birth cert) showed up ranting and raving at the foster mom about how it's "his kid" and "he'll get her one way or another." And she had her own bio daughter with her. She was terrified the next week after the visit. It gets messy sometimes.

But how exciting about a trial date!! I am really, really happy for you!!

[Adopt3mom]

My husband and I just adopted two foster children back in October. My husband was called to testify. He was asked about how the children were doing in our home, schooling, etc. He was also asked if we were willing to adopt them. We go next week for the TPR on the kids sibling baby brother.

[IncompetentHousewife]

Thank you all. This helps me know a little more about what to expect.

Wow, strange things can and do happen in the foster care system. Thanks for the reality check. I think our relatives think this will all be such a clearcut case. To them, we're the best people to raise the baby so it should be so. I wish I had that magic wand.

[IncompetentHousewife]

[Replying to subscribe.]

[vxclayborn]

TPR is SO unnerving. We are approaching our second and it is hard!

My experience and experience per FP friends, TPR cannot be granted in some cases. That said, for it NOT to be granted here in AR, it means the bio made very significant progress on their case plan since the goal change. However, they can still terminate (dependent on how the judge interprets the law) simply on the grounds of the parent dragging their feet, thus allowing the child to stay in care for 15 months.

I don't know where you are, but we are taught to be careful re: our wording in our statement to judges regarding adoption. I always say something along the lines of "I am fully committed to the goals of the court and DHS, but given the opportunity our family would be thrilled to adopt ______." If questioned, be prepared with examples of how you have supported the parent-child relationship (pictures, updates, gave dr. appt info)

Has any family stepped forward?

From my understanding, in AR most of the time there has to be inappropriate contact with the child before such order is made, unless there is a history of direct abuse toward that child

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by SueSB

I think our relatives think this will all be such a clearcut case. To them, we're the best people to raise the baby so it should be so. I wish I had that magic wand.

This is a tough part of it all, dealing with family. Lately, out of frustration and her own hurt, my mom has started harassing me with, "Jeez, how long will this take? Isn't there some deadline?" Like she has no clue what I've been telling her. Like I could change it. And a lot of people do have the fairy tale ending in their heads. "Well, you have a great home, baby fits right in, it's so perfect, la la la, it just HAS to work out!" Right. In fairy tale land. Unfortunately, at this stage, your home has NOTHING to do with the decisions. As f'parents, we aren't even a consideration. Just a house to keep baby safe until a decision is made. And I do get that, really; it's just tough living it.

[IncompetentHousewife]

Arrgghh!!! I learned late this week that our upcoming trial is not at all what we were told. I specifically heard our worker use the word "termination" in conjunction with this trial multiple times, but now I'm beginning to figure out that she is very nice, but clueless about the court aspect. Her supervisor handles that, and called to update me about a motion hearing and didn't give me a lot of info (after me begging for any update, of course, because we didn't even know this hearing was taking place).

I went around them both by calling a worker in a neighboring county who got more info for us. It turns out this is a jurisdictional trial. The parents requested a jury and of course have nothing to lose. We have a lot to lose — as in the little boy we care so much about — so I'm pissed that our worker didn't prepare us for this let alone tell us this is even a trial for jurisdiction. When I thought it was a TPR, I figured the worst-case scenario for me was that rights would not be terminated now and baby would remain in care for now. This is as messed up as people had warned us about the foster care system. If our worker can't even tell me with accuracy what kind of trial is about to take place, how are they preparing his case?

Apparently at the motion hearing a LOT of the parents' mental history was stricken so the jury will never it, as was some info about the father's past child abuse case. Our agency supervisor is pretty upset about it, but said the prosecutor thinks they'll still be OK.

It's the same judge that handled the father's past stuff and who presided over the mother voluntarily giving up custody of other children, so hopefully that will help. In my mind, if the jury even hears a fraction of their history it would be enough, but I'm telling myself that to feel better. Also, the father is pretty notorious around here (a small community) and his child abuse case was all over the headlines, so maybe the jurors will know something about him.

I have a message in to my worker to clarify what the trial is even about. I'm feeling so left out of the picture right now. I know the workers are busy, but all I'm asking for is a one-paragraph (correct) explanation about what the trial is for!

Should I call the prosecutor or the baby's court-appointed attorney and ask, at risk of ticking off our foster workers for going around them?

Originally Posted by vxclayborn

Has any family stepped forward?

A couple of the father's family members came forward, but before home studies they backed out (the worker who would have done them told me she would be documenting why she would not recommend them — for one thing they let child abuser/sexual predator dad babysit their kids alone). None of mother's family has come forward. There are half siblings in three other families. One they have no address for and haven't tried too hard to seek out (I asked very early on if they had to do due diligence and they weren't sure and said they'd find out). The other we know through the grapevine and don't seem interested. The other is the mother's ex-husband for whom our foster baby is the result of her affair that broke up their marriage — he wants nothing to do with the baby.

Gosh, I never thought my life would contain anything so dramatic beyond my high school interest in watching General Hospital.

[Polliwog]

I'm confused? What is the jury deciding? I've never heard of a jury being involved in child protection cases.

[IncompetentHousewife]

Originally Posted by Polliwog

I'm confused? What is the jury deciding? I've never heard of a jury being involved in child protection cases.

I'm confused too! At this point, I don't know what to believe from our worker. She and her supervisor explained the jury being involved in such a way that made sense, but that was weeks ago and now I've learned it's not even the type of trial we expected at all.

At the time, they said the parents could choose to let the judge decide alone, or their attorney could request a jury trial. Our county supervisor said parents sometimes do better with jury trials because they might find jurors sympathetic to them having lost their children. They claim to have changed their ways and say they deserve a second chance with their kids.

I didn't receive a response from our worker Friday (she may have been out as someone else supervised a visit), and I've been anxious all weekend to hear what's really going on.

Is it typical for foster parents to be quite so left in the dark?

[Polliwog]

Could it be a criminal case?

[mariaz]

Sue, I just wanted to say that it is totally typical for foster parents to be left in the dark. Especially if your worker is unclear about the direction of the case he/she will give you as little information as possible.

[vxclayborn]

Originally Posted by mariaz

Sue, I just wanted to say that it is totally typical for foster parents to be left in the dark. Especially if your worker is unclear about the direction of the case he/she will give you as little information as possible.

That's so sad!

As FP's you are supposed to have a copy of the case plan (never happens) but I do know what plan A,B, and C are as well as what the Ad Liteum, CASA, and Case Worker's thoughts/concerns are because we staff toghether before each trial.

Have you asked for a case plan (it's typically a FP right) or asked to staff or asked for child to be assigned a CASA? Just trying to brainstorm so you're not in the dark and can prepare yourself.

Re: Family it doesn't sound like much should pan out if you are this far into the case. That said, I have heard of people appearing out of the woodworks at the 12th hour, then it's up to the team to decide what is in the child's best interest... obviously he/she has NO bond w/ them.

[IncompetentHousewife]

I finally learned more from our worker today. The first portion of the trial is a jury trial for jurisdiction. I'm in Mich. and don't know if juries are typical in other states. Next, she thinks if jurisdiction is granted they'll go immediately to a termination trial, decided by the judge with no jury.

So much of the parents' history is stricken that our workers are "just sick about it."

Originally Posted by vxclayborn

As FP's you are supposed to have a copy of the case plan (never happens) but I do know what plan A,B, and C are as well as what the Ad Liteum, CASA, and Case Worker's thoughts/concerns are because we staff toghether before each trial.

Have you asked for a case plan (it's typically a FP right) or asked to staff or asked for child to be assigned a CASA? Just trying to brainstorm so you're not in the dark and can prepare yourself.

I also finally got word that our service plan (same as what you're calling a case plan) is coming to me at least eventually. Our worker hasn't had a request for one in a long time and is refamiliarizing herself with which portions she is required to redact. I'm thinking, just black out the private info about the parents already and send it to me!

Can you tell me more about a CASA? I don't know what that is.

[Polliwog]

Boy, you Michigan folks have a really weird system. I'm so confused and I thought I'd heard it all. Jurisdiction of what? If it has to do with protection of the child, how can information be stricken?

In NC, where I live, I get to see the case plans when we have our Permanency Planning Team meetings a few times a year. All of the key players are there- social workers and supervisors, child's GAL, parent's GAL(s) if applicable, parents, foster parents, etc. I get a copy of the case plan to review during the meeting but I can't take it with me. I could write stuff down if I wanted, though.

[vxclayborn]

A CASA is a court appointed special advocate. I think the "goal" in our state is that every case have one but that doesn't happen. Typically, if everything is going south, like 2nd time in care, or the child has been in care for quite some time a CASA will be assigned by the judge. Typically it's something DHS or the GAL requests and the judge grants.

There are great and horrible CASAs so it's a gamble. They almost always testify and are considered a neutral party that can speak in the childs best interest. We have a WONDERFUL one currently and I feel it makes a big difference since I can voice my concerns to her re:family placements and then she will investigate and find out if she agrees.

[Polliwog]

In my state, and some others, the child's GAL functions in the same way as a CASA. My soon-to-be-adopted daughter had a WONDERFUL GAL. I was sad when she had to withdraw from the case for personal reasons.

[vxclayborn]

Originally Posted by Polliwog

In my state, and some others, the child's GAL functions in the same way as a CASA. My soon-to-be-adopted daughter had a WONDERFUL GAL. I was sad when she had to withdraw from the case for personal reasons.

Yep, same here if you get a wonderful one. We love ours. That said, do GAL's seem to be a bit EXTREME for judges/ DHS preferences? Thats just what I have gathered. Personally, I'm glad they ask for the best for a child and question everything, but I always see a several month lag between what the GAL wants and what everyone else is thinking.

DHS and CASA's reccommendations seem to be what matters her in AR.

[Polliwog]

I've never had a case in which the GAL, the judge(s) and DSS weren't in basic agreement. Most of the time everyone is basically on the same page about what will/should happen.