Help with 15 month old hitting herself

[Dazedstella]

I know it's relatively developmentally normal but I want to know how to confront, contain or deal with my daughter who has gone from hitting me and daddy to hitting herself hard on the head while yelling "ow" she also will go bang her head off objects or sometimes (and this move is almost funny she looks so silly) she will squat down to bang her head on the floor. The ow comes from me trying to respond to being hit or pinched by saying ow and putting her down/walking away.

We do not hit, ever, in our family although occasionally my DH and I do playful swats on each other, not our daughter. Obviously we have to stop that kind of joking with each other because we are not modeling good behavior for her but how else can we change the behavior? Sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I say "ooo gentle hands please" and show gentle (which she knows because have done a lot of work with gentle after the hitting other people/animals started) and sometimes I will get frustrated and say sternly "No hitting G". Nothing seems to be helping.

[HeliMom]

I notice my LO will bonk her own head when she needs more stimulation. Distraction distraction at this age I think.

[Dazedstella]

Thank you for responding. I do notice the stimulation thing but I should have clarified this is more of a tantrum behavior, when she wants something she can't have or when we are all done with something etc. She also has started head butting me or throwing herself backwards so her head hits the floor along with the rest of it.

[litanyagainstfear]

My son does many of the same things, and for exactly the same reasons. He would bang his head back in the floor in frustration from a very young age, and now he does the self-hitting thing too. I try not to make a huge fuss about it anymore, because I think that heightens whatever tension/energy he has going during those times. It's slow going, though.

I reinforce the idea that hands are not for hitting (heads are not for hurting, etc), including hitting yourself, and that hitting/head banging is not the way to get what you want. Sometimes cuddling works too -- just sitting down on his level can calm him down. Then I talk out how I think he feels for him, since he just doesn't have the vocab/control to do that, and it can help. And, occasionally, I can distract him (ie let's go outside, let's take a bath, let's go look in the mirror, let's make monkey noises).

Sometimes we play the "stomping game." I stomp and tell him to stomp too (now we jump a lot actually, since he just figured that out), and that's a way for him to get that energy out in a way that's forceful but not harmful.