We'll see if this feeling survives tomorrow. 
I came home from a meeting. The kids stayed with my mom. While I was gone, they did not come in when called. They ran and played keep-away.
DD (3) hid near the dumpsters--a well-known forbidden zone.
DS (5) went "out in back"--another well-known forbidden zone because of standing water. He also was using a swear word. (The version of events I got from my mom involved this word directed at another person, my son's version he was talking about the 'badgers' that he says live out back. Whatever. It's still not a word we use.)
I did not yell. I did not lose my temper. I did not even react out of sheer embarrassment that my kid used that word.
Instead, I calmly put away the candy I'd brought home, told them they were not going to have it now because they broke the rules while I was gone. Then I sent them for baths.
After that, we calmly talked about what happened, and I *calmly* told them that because they did not behave while outside tonight, they would not be playing outside tomorrow, but I would think about allowing them outside tomorrow evening when their good friends come home--depends on how our day goes. (they're also not having the computer or the living room TV with all their favorite channels--they wouldn't *care* about staying inside if they get to play computer and watch TV)
I did not once yell, threaten, or anything else. This is pretty big for me lately. I don't know exactly *when* I became the flip-out parent, but I did, and today I wasn't, and I'm pretty happy about that.
Oh and I am also proud of *THEM* because they accepted all of this and managed to bathe, brush their teeth, and go to bed without a show (usually a MAJOR disappointment) with very minimal protest. (I think they realized, more than *any* yelling, etc. could have accomplished, that I was *serious* and they were in Trouble and it was not in their interests to make things worse...)
I came home from a meeting. The kids stayed with my mom. While I was gone, they did not come in when called. They ran and played keep-away.
DD (3) hid near the dumpsters--a well-known forbidden zone.
DS (5) went "out in back"--another well-known forbidden zone because of standing water. He also was using a swear word. (The version of events I got from my mom involved this word directed at another person, my son's version he was talking about the 'badgers' that he says live out back. Whatever. It's still not a word we use.)
I did not yell. I did not lose my temper. I did not even react out of sheer embarrassment that my kid used that word.
Instead, I calmly put away the candy I'd brought home, told them they were not going to have it now because they broke the rules while I was gone. Then I sent them for baths.
After that, we calmly talked about what happened, and I *calmly* told them that because they did not behave while outside tonight, they would not be playing outside tomorrow, but I would think about allowing them outside tomorrow evening when their good friends come home--depends on how our day goes. (they're also not having the computer or the living room TV with all their favorite channels--they wouldn't *care* about staying inside if they get to play computer and watch TV)
I did not once yell, threaten, or anything else. This is pretty big for me lately. I don't know exactly *when* I became the flip-out parent, but I did, and today I wasn't, and I'm pretty happy about that.
Oh and I am also proud of *THEM* because they accepted all of this and managed to bathe, brush their teeth, and go to bed without a show (usually a MAJOR disappointment) with very minimal protest. (I think they realized, more than *any* yelling, etc. could have accomplished, that I was *serious* and they were in Trouble and it was not in their interests to make things worse...)
Way to go!!!
