Three weeks ago, we got a new dog. We'd had a dog previously; she died last year. This new dog (a rescue) is great--mellow, easy-going (mostly), and sweet. My daughter, age 5 1/2, has always loved dogs and animals. She has said for two years now that she wants to be a vet. (One of her favorite things to do is watch canine C-sections on YouTube. Seriously!) Nevertheless, she is frequently annoying our poor new dog by pushing him, shouting at him, giving him a toy then letting him not have it, hugging him then rolling him to the ground (kind of a wrestling move), and just now I caught her whacking him on the nose with one of his squeaky toys.
Needless to say, it's really frustrating. Her behavior in other areas has also been emotional and out-of-control. (Not sure why....summer vacation? lack of routine? new dog?)
My therapist (no stranger to AP and gentle discipline) says she'd use a sticker chart, but only with emphasis on the ways she is helpful and kind to the dog. So, my daughter enthusiastically made a list of things she could do that were kind and helpful, then we made a list of what activities/experiences she could do after she got 20 stickers. I've always been somewhat opposed to this sort of thing, but it sounded like it might help. It hasn't. She is aware she gets acknowledged for the positive behavior, but it has not in any way decreased the negative. No matter how much I try to address it: We love the dog, we don't hurt people/animals we love, he has feelings too, I know you can take good care of him because I've seen you do it, is there something that you can do instead of annoy the dog when you feel sad/mad/frustrated/bored?
She says she is bored/mad/tired when she acts this way. I think it's not so much dog-related, as it is that he is a convenient punching bag. Fortunately he bears it well, but I hate the dynamic that's been created. She was never this annoying with our old dog because she had a lower threshold for that sort of thing (growling, yelping). This guy seems to put up with it gamely. Me, not so much. Help!
Needless to say, it's really frustrating. Her behavior in other areas has also been emotional and out-of-control. (Not sure why....summer vacation? lack of routine? new dog?)
My therapist (no stranger to AP and gentle discipline) says she'd use a sticker chart, but only with emphasis on the ways she is helpful and kind to the dog. So, my daughter enthusiastically made a list of things she could do that were kind and helpful, then we made a list of what activities/experiences she could do after she got 20 stickers. I've always been somewhat opposed to this sort of thing, but it sounded like it might help. It hasn't. She is aware she gets acknowledged for the positive behavior, but it has not in any way decreased the negative. No matter how much I try to address it: We love the dog, we don't hurt people/animals we love, he has feelings too, I know you can take good care of him because I've seen you do it, is there something that you can do instead of annoy the dog when you feel sad/mad/frustrated/bored?
She says she is bored/mad/tired when she acts this way. I think it's not so much dog-related, as it is that he is a convenient punching bag. Fortunately he bears it well, but I hate the dynamic that's been created. She was never this annoying with our old dog because she had a lower threshold for that sort of thing (growling, yelping). This guy seems to put up with it gamely. Me, not so much. Help!
