Be a part of the community.
It's free, join today!
.
Wow! What a powerfull and disturbing story. I can't even imagine... Can you sue a doctor for malpractice for the things he did? I understand why it was so hard for her to come to grips with the natural mothers approach to childbirth. Most people are told, their entire lives, not to question authority, and doctors are about as officially authoritative as our society gets. They are the ones who make us better and keep us safe, right? 
I can't believe how this story affected me. I am feeling a little sick and terribly disgusted. It is so unfortunate that stories like hers exist, and that for so many years women were told this is the way things were done. (not exactly like this, but my bp's mother can tell some horrible birth stories!)
. Seriously. It makes me so sad when characters like that are held up as a representative of the hospital/ob model of care. My hospital births were nothing like what Dr. Gregory or the author described...and the idea that preparation (beyond a hospital course) or a birth plan will somehow make it more likely for you to get a c-section is laughable.
Can't wait!
|
Originally Posted by RedOakMomma
 Huh.
I guess mostly, it seems to me a very poorly-written article. The author is obviously still processing her ideas, and maybe that's the point, but she goes back and forth between a respectful discussion of NCB and ridiculing, doubting comments about it all. She still doesn't seem like she's read a whole lot, and instead is reacting to very specific comments or ideas that seem pretty unrelated to each other or to a typical approach to NCB. And the Dr. Gregory character is...just... . Seriously. It makes me so sad when characters like that are held up as a representative of the hospital/ob model of care. My hospital births were nothing like what Dr. Gregory or the author described...and the idea that preparation (beyond a hospital course) or a birth plan will somehow make it more likely for you to get a c-section is laughable.My birth plan was so respected at both of my births, it makes me proud to say I had a hospital birth. I LOVED it. I loved my OB and the nurses for advocating for me, for respecting me, and for respecting our wishes as a couple. It was an incredibly warm atmosphere. Not once have I ever been given the impression that the doctors or nurses view birth plans as the realm of anxiety-ridden, control-freak mothers, nor do I think anyone is under the illusion that a birth plan is anything more than a birth wish, should birth go as births normally do. The author, unfortunately, seem to be one of those people that is deliberately uneducated about childbirth. She admits as much for her first birth, and based on how she discusses some of her new "knowledge" of NCB and homebirth, my guess is that she still hasn't cracked the spine of many books about birth or natural birth. When you're deliberately uneducated, what do you expect? That a natural birth, free of interventions, will just be handed to you? Sorry, lady, that's not how it works. Not with midwives or homebirths, either. Especially not with OBs, or any health care provider, you don't trust or really know all that well. Do the work. Read up. Just because, in the end, birth is unpredictable, doesn't mean that preparation is useless. Preparation does not guarantee an easy birth, and goodness knows you can be educated/prepared and still have a traumatic birth...but just because the worst case scenario can happen to the prepared does not mean it gives everyone the excuse to be unprepared. And sheesh...just because you can find a hospital, somwhere, with a Byzantine approach to midwives and Bradley methods....and because you can find an OB that thinks birth plans are crap...that does not mean it excuses you from educating yourself, from preparing, and from learning about what your body needs and does during labor and birth. She seems determined to be the victim, to find every excuse out there (based on stereotypes of doulas, homebirths, and mean OBs) that says she was justified in not educating herself, having a birth plan, hiring a doula, or doing a homebirth. PUH-LEEZE. If I was injured in car accident, but hadn't prepared myself by say...buckling my seatbelt, having safe brakes, or practicing defensive driving....even if I'd been "victimized" by getting hit by a bad driver. Aren't the extent of my injuries, to some extent, my own fault? So no matter if I can go out and find some quack that says seatbelts can really kill you, or safe brakes are over-rated, or people who practice defensive driving are really just anxious control-freaks who end up getting in more crashes...no matter how I try to justify my own bad choices, my own stupidity, the reality is my bad choices led to my injuries. |
|
Originally Posted by Marilyn82
Eh, I tend to think we need to cut mama a break. I can understand being aggravated by some of her statements, but being wrong about the NCB community and not having done as much reading/educating/homework or whatever, does not mean she deserved to suffer the kind of dehumanizing/traumatizing treatment she received. Not saying that anyone here is saying she deserved it or anything...just making the point that regardless of her views or level of understanding/acceptance...it's incredibly sad that she ended up with such extreme mistreatment.
I also tend to think that the more "mainstream" mamas don't want to seem overly "crunchy" because they are afraid their thoughts will be discredited. She probably feels like she has to have those disclaimers out there to be more credible....silly. |
Exactly. And it breaks my heart.
|
Originally Posted by Marilyn82
Eh, I tend to think we need to cut mama a break. I can understand being aggravated by some of her statements, but being wrong about the NCB community and not having done as much reading/educating/homework or whatever, does not mean she deserved to suffer the kind of dehumanizing/traumatizing treatment she received. Not saying that anyone here is saying she deserved it or anything...just making the point that regardless of her views or level of understanding/acceptance...it's incredibly sad that she ended up with such extreme mistreatment.
|
| By now, one movie, two books, four doulas and approximately 15 mothers had told me that my traumatic birth was my fault, the problems all stemming from my not believing in my body. But what if my body wasn't meant to do this? |
That's not what I get from it. I get that she has partial 'blame' because she didn't get educated. She could have learned that so much of what is done in US hospitals is not evidence-based practice. Simply reading the brief chapter on AROM in "The Thinking Woman's Guide" would have shown her it's rarely, if ever, a good idea. Then maybe she would have discussed it with her OB. Then maybe she would have seen he either thinks it IS good, or shown that doesn't give a hoot what mamas think, he'll do as he pleases. (Granted, he could have deceived her on either counts, but I doubt it.)| Would we ever tell someone whose liver has failed that it was because she didn't believe in it? |
|
Originally Posted by RedOakMomma
Just because, in the end, birth is unpredictable, doesn't mean that preparation is useless. Preparation does not guarantee an easy birth, and goodness knows you can be educated/prepared and still have a traumatic birth...but just because the worst case scenario can happen to the prepared does not mean it gives everyone the excuse to be unprepared.
|
|
Originally Posted by Galatea
I absolutely do not wear patchouli, nor burn sage, nor wear flowy skirts, nor chant, nor anything in the stereotype. Yet I do take responsibility for my own health, and to do so is not being a weird hippie - it is being a responsible adult.
|
