The harness...

[Phoenix~Mama]

Curious of thoughts on the little monkey back-pack harness/leash systems for very active toddlers.

My Mom used some type of leash system with me and my sisters. We were all pretty close in age, and we all just wanted to go, go go! lol She found shopping challenging and the only way she found to keep us safely with her and not tearing around the store at the young toddler ages was to use the leash.

I remember laughing about it, and at first in parenthood I know I had a lot of mixed feelings on them... still do.

But, DD is a runner. And going to the store alone with her is definitely challenging. She wants to run, not hold my hand, freaks out if I try to hold her hand. When she takes off and I catch up to her and go to pick her up she throws herself on the floor and makes herself a dead weight and screeches. Fun times. lol Sometimes I do let her run around a little while I'm right with her, to see if burning off some of her energy/curiousity will help... but no success rate with that yet. lol

I basically do spurts of letting her down, chasing her, and trying to hold a very wiggly upset LO who is desperately kicking and wanting down. Needless to say, shopping trips are cut very short, and sometimes before I get everything I needed to begin with.

So, I've been thinking about the harness... How horrible is this? Is anyone else in a similiar situation? What do you do?

[Areia]

I think it's fine - my husband uses one with DD.

Honestly, be prepared for dirty looks though. Even though he had an obvious disability (which is why he uses the harness when they go for walks), he still gets glares from some people.

[Storm Bride]

Whoo-Hoo...we were due for a new harness thread!

IMO, they're a tool, like anything else. If they work for you and your child, then they're a good tool. I used one (just a plain harness - no backpack) on dd1 for a few months, when I was in late pregnancy, and then recovering from my c-section, with ds2. It allowed me to take dd1 out to do things, instead of spending about 2-3 months cooped up in the house. She loved it, and I didn't have to worry about her taking off and throwing herself into the icky duck pond at the farm.


ETA: I also want to add that I think the harnesses are light years more comfortable for most kids than having to hold hands with an adult for extended periods of time.

[kcstar]

DS loved his teddy bear backpack harness. We called putting it on "getting a bear hug". There were times when we were leaving the car when he would hand it to us and ask to wear it.

We bought ours without his input, but if you're really worried about it you could ask your DC to choose between the bear, the monkey, or whatever else they might have.

[Alyantavid]

I wouldn't use one, but I haven't been in the position to need one.

You could try one and see how it works out.

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Whoo-Hoo...we were due for a new harness thread!

LOL, I know.

OP I am from the camp that if you need it then great, use it. What is the option? Your child running away? into traffic? lord knows where?

I had an active toddler, a bolter-if I thought about I'd have bought one in a heartbeat. She did almost run into the street, luckily it was the middle of winter in my sleepy little tourist town, but if had been summer things could have been much worse. Dirty looks-whatever, if someone never has had a child who does this type of behavior they don't understand and also assume things(like in DD's case too much sugar, no she was just that amped).

Like a PP said, it's like anything it's a tool. I never did end up using one, but if my son is anything like DD you bet I'll be getting one, or I'll be going as few places as possible with him from 15m-2 years. I don't think he'll be that way though, he's already so different than she was.

[Owen'nZoe]

I thought they were horrible until my little daredevil came along and my primary parental duty became "Keep him alive". I am seriously considering getting one right now, because if I am not carrying him or holding his hand at all times, he is gone so fast I would swear he had the ability to disappear.

[GuildJenn]

I post the same thing in every thread on this and here goes...

Between the ages of about 18 months and shy of 2.5 the harness was a joy and a lifesaver for my son and I. I live in a city where some areas have narrow sidewalks next to busy streets, where we frequently went to festivals and zoos and other crowded and exciting places, and we were on the go a lot.

Holding hands for a prolonged period of time was uncomfortable for both of us (at least it was for me and after holding my hand over my head for 10 min I assume it was for him) and would produce the limp-noodle drop and scream. He had a need to gogogo and not be in the stroller or the Ergo or a hip-carry in the sling all the time.

Also my son was a dasher and is deaf when anything else is Really Interesting! I honestly believe that at that age (and still sometimes) he could not both be exploring the butterflies AND be hearing what people around him were saying.

The harness gave me the security to continue to go out and do things with him all over, and it gave him the room to explore things at his level with both hands. I mostly followed him with it, but a few times he dashed and it was helpful. Also I could often keep him from falling over. I have amazingly fond memories of us going about the city at that time without tons of power struggles and in a relaxed and connected way.

We also did all the other things that families do to encourage safety - played red light green light, held hands in parking lots, ran madly about in safe parks, etc.

[Ruthla]

Harnesses are a tool. As with all things, they can be over used or misused by "bad parents." They are extremely helpful if you have a "runner," or if you have a "normal toddler" but you can't chase her because you're 9 months pg (when I bought it for DD1.)

Kids have more freedom walking alongside Mom in the harness than they do if they have to keep on holding a sweaty hand, or be confined to a sling or stroller all the time. All of my kids went through a phase where the harness was useful- for each of them it lasted a month or two. Other kids, with different personalities, might need this for longer- even throughout the toddler years.

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Whoo-Hoo...we were due for a new harness thread!

JSMa - if you search harness or leash, you will come up with lots of threads.

[dakotablue]

When I was little my grandmother used on on me. When it comes to the harness I think it has its place as a tool. If your DC is not old enough or able to understand the safety of staying by your side than a harness can be used in conjunction of trying to get to a better place (new skills, age or just this is what we use.)

I know the glares! How dare you exist with a child you don't want to get stolen and want to keep alive!

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Whoo-Hoo...we were due for a new harness thread!

IMO, they're a tool, like anything else. If they work for you and your child, then they're a good tool. I used one (just a plain harness - no backpack) on dd1 for a few months, when I was in late pregnancy, and then recovering from my c-section, with ds2. It allowed me to take dd1 out to do things, instead of spending about 2-3 months cooped up in the house. She loved it, and I didn't have to worry about her taking off and throwing herself into the icky duck pond at the farm.


ETA: I also want to add that I think the harnesses are light years more comfortable for most kids than having to hold hands with an adult for extended periods of time.

I'm not chiming in about the harness, but I wanted to say reading this idea (the bolded) on previous threads made me aware of how that might be uncomfortable for a small child, and os I try to lean down now, so my 2 year old doesn't have to reach up the entire time.

[StephandOwen]

I used one with ds (the plain red one with a little elmo on the front). LOVED it for keeping him safe and me sane Sure we got dirty looks but, ya know what? My ds is safe at the end of the day and we were BOTH happier with him using the harness. That is what matters, not what other people think.

[Phoenix~Mama]

Pregnancy among a to-do list a mile long made me forget about doing a search first. Oops! Sorry! I'm usually notorious for searching first too! lol I really need some sleep. lol

Anyway, thanks for all the replies! Makes me feel A TON better actually! I was worried I was slacking in some department of Mommy-hood that I was having difficulties with my little runner. lol Glad it's a normal toddler thing and I'm totally not alone.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I have one for my ds (our littles are the same age almost exactly) and I only use it when I know I'll really need it - so pretty sparingly. BUT - the times I DO need it, it has been a true life-saver (it keeps him from running into the street, so I mean that literally).

[MsVyky]

Harness > Child running into traffic

I'd not think twice about harnessing my DD if she was a runner and I was concerned for her safety.

[geekgolightly]

I should have used one with my son when he was at that age. He would make a dash for the street every.time. It was like a magnet! And he made it *into* the street once. Very frightening and if I ever have another kid who exhibits his behaviors, you bet I'll use one.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by JSMa

Pregnancy among a to-do list a mile long made me forget about doing a search first. Oops! Sorry! I'm usually notorious for searching first too! lol I really need some sleep. lol

Don't worry about it at all. This topic comes up every so often, and sometimes becomes...heated. I was just joking around.

[treeoflife3]

This reminds me of a lady I know who thinks strollers for children about 3 and up are extremely bad too. She can go on tirades about how abled bodied walkers in strollers just encourages them to be lazy and not want to play or get exercise because someone will just cart them around anyway. Apparently anyone with an older toddler who relies on ANYTHING but 'good' parenting and the ability to hold hands is doing a HUGE disservice to their children as well as being a lazy parent and teaching kids to be unhealthy.

She won't listen to anyone who says sometimes kids just CAN'T walk as far is the trip calls for and some kids simply CAN'T have the self control every single time to listen to their parents about staying/not running/whatever. Nope, doesn't matter. bad parents use strollers at that age. I still laugh at that... clearly she has a perfectly meek and mild mannered child who has the stamina/endourance of a horse... that or she never goes anywhere anyway.

but yeah, I support harness use. My mom always says she should have had one with me My husband is against them but you better believe we will use one should our kiddo be anything like I was... especially if I get knocked up while she is still very young!

[Needle in the Hay]

I have no problem with harnesses used when necessary but just wanted to suggest online grocery shopping to reduce/shorten shopping trips!