The harness... - Page 3

[MadiMamacita]

havent read the replies, but i have read other threads like this one..

DH bought the monkey for DS and DS LOVES it. he wants to wear it everywhere and now that he's walking, i feel like it gives him a bit more freedom than me holding his hand, which he doesnt like to do. so we have zero problem with it. and so far havent had any negative comments or looks, in fact someone asked where to get one because they thought it was such a cute idea.

[ThisCat]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I always had my dd hold my hand or be carried, unless I had the stroller with me and she could use the stroller. It was just the rule and I didn't let tantrums change my mind.

Then I can't imagine your child threw many serious tantrums about it. In our case, that approach would require me to be willing to make everyone around us listen to my son scream and fuss pretty much every single place we go. That wouldn't go over very well, especially at the library. With some kids this really isn't just a matter of being firm.

ETA - Also, I would have to be willing and able to physically restrain my son who kicks and squirms with force when he wants to get down. Not easy to do while paying for something. And I would have to literally be willing to break his arm or dislocate his shoulder in order to hold his hand when he is not willing. He's a feisty one.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I always had my dd hold my hand or be carried, unless I had the stroller with me and she could use the stroller. It was just the rule and I didn't let tantrums change my mind.

Tantrums are one thing. DS1 would hold my hand when asked, and I never had a problem with it. However, the one time he decided not to, he didn't throw a tantrum - he just very abruptly wrenched his hand free and bolted onto someone's lawn. I went after him, and he circled back. My foot slipped and I went down hard on my stomach. When I managed to get back up, it was to see my two year old son, sitting in the middle of the intersection, with a van stopped not five feet away. I was shaking for hours. In his case, I didn't get a harness, because 1) it never occurred to me since this was an exception to his usual behaviour, and 2) I couldn't afford it, anyway. But, if he'd been a runner, then a harness wouldn't have been about whether or not he liked holding my hand - it would have been about never having to see him sitting in the middle of the road again.

I don't like the harnesses because they give more room for kids to roam and get into things they shouldn't be playing with while out and about.

But...depending where you're out and about, that might be what you want. I used mine mostly to take dd1 to the local farm. I wanted her to be able to pet goats and bunnies and give bird seed to the ducks. If I wanted her contained, I'd have used a container stroller or pack of some kind). The harness is a different tool, with a different purpose.

[Quinalla]

It's like any other tool in your parenting belt, great if used properly, can be poor if used improperly. For you with a runner, its a safety thing and also nice for the child as they get to explore and have some independence too, so get one and don't look back. It's parents that yank on them to pull a child back or something like that that makes people leery of harnesses. And if you haven't dealt with a runner, well, it can be hard to understand how kids like that can be too

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by TabithaB

I have always used a retractable dog leash and hook it to a belt loop or the waist of my son's pants. Now that gets some really funny looks, but it only takes a second for you to get separated from you child or for them to put themselves in harms way like with traffic or getting lost so I don't really care what people think.

I bet that does get some looks! I would probably burst off laughing if I saw that. I think it is a brillant idea.

Pre-kid, I thought the harnesses were at best, for lazy parents....

Then I had a kid and like so many of my brillant theories, I had to eat those words and they went straight to my @ss....

I have a runner/bolter. Nothing works. When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!

It has to be a dire situation for me to take him to a store or anywhere that involves a parking lot, it is that bad. There have been times I needed to physically pin him between me and the dirty car to keep him from sprinting away. Fun times, let me tell you.

So yes, I would use a harness if necessary. Especially if pregnant. Go for it and dirty looks be darned!

[ThisCat]

Originally Posted by Caneel

When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!

Oh no! I keep telling myself this phase will be over as soon as my son can communicate better and be reasoned with.

[tessie]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I don't like the harnesses because they give more room for kids to roam and get into things they shouldn't be playing with while out and about.

I have a traditional style harness (like this) and they're about two feet long. She can get no further from me than she could if she were holding my hand. Except she won't hold my hand, is a runner (and climber!) and we live in a busy urban area, hence the harness.

[mamalisa]

Originally Posted by Caneel

I bet that does get some looks! I would probably burst off laughing if I saw that. I think it is a brillant idea.

Pre-kid, I thought the harnesses were at best, for lazy parents....

Then I had a kid and like so many of my brillant theories, I had to eat those words and they went straight to my @ss....

I have a runner/bolter. Nothing works. When I try to use the safety angle he laughs and says "I hope the car hits me and breaks my leg so I can go to the hospital like Curious George!" Seriously, I don't know how to deal with that type of reasoning?!?!

It has to be a dire situation for me to take him to a store or anywhere that involves a parking lot, it is that bad. There have been times I needed to physically pin him between me and the dirty car to keep him from sprinting away. Fun times, let me tell you.

So yes, I would use a harness if necessary. Especially if pregnant. Go for it and dirty looks be darned!

Those smart kids are such a hassle!! My dd has an answer like that for every thing in life. She makes me nuts. But damn, she's sooo smart!

[mrspineau]

I use one pretty much only at two stores: one is a toy store, where I want him to be able to explore but also want him to stay close to me and not bolt down the stairs or out the door or something (I'm also very pregnant right now and can't run very fast lol) and at a certain dollar store where the carts don't hold children and he runs all around. I find it great for those kinds of situations! I say use one, I have certainly not gotten any glares for it, god help someone who gives me one.

[Chryseis]

Do what you need to do to keep your daughter safe and you somewhat sane. Just like others said, I used to think they were silly, too, until I had a runner. My 4 year old daughter was always such a great walker, I never had to worry about her running off. But my son is so different. He'll just bolt, out of the park, into the street, to the expensive bottles of wine in our local co-op, etc. I have not used a harness at this point, only because he happens to love being carried. He thinks his rightful place is in the red carrier on my back, which is much appreciated at this point as it makes trekking 3 kids around a lot easier. But, if he decides he doesn't like being carried at any point, and he still has a pesky habit of running, we'll certainly look into getting him a harness.

[Turquesa]

Originally Posted by meemee

oh man i was soooo judgemental against it. oh you should have heard me.

till i had a runner.

and then i had to swallow my words.

we got a tiger one

And I was soooo judgmental against it....til I became a parent!