Talk to me about how you afford life

[madeofstardust]

My stbx and I have decided to separate. I'm moving into a house across town, it's the cheapest option in a decent neighborhood and I'm happy with it.
The rent is $825 a month.
I've been a SAHM for about 2 years now and I have no real skills for long-term jobs.
I am starting community college in the fall and have decided to take out as much as possible in student loans to get by. Here are my other ideas:

-Make things and sell them at the flea market. Such things as skirts, cloth diapers, cloth mama pads, ring slings, paintings, and beads. Any other ideas are most welcome and appreciated!
-Sell almost all of my belongings on ebay.
-Tutoring.

I do not currently have a car, but stbx is going to buy me a super cheap one to get to and from school in while he's frolicking around.
I don't want to get a night job while going to school, stbx is planning on travelling around the country doing freelance lighting work, which is unstable at best and I certainly am not expecting any help from him. He won't be there to spend time with our daughter and I really feel the need to be with her most of the time. I realize I may have to compromise on this and wait tables at night, but I'm really hoping I won't.

The are the expenses I know I will have, please let me know if I'm missing anything:

Rent- $825
Electric- ?$100
Water- ?$50
Phone- $80
Car Insurance- $100

I have childcare taken care of, my best friend is a SAHM and she's willing to watch my DD while I'm in school free of charge, though I will buy her groceries because food is also taken care of through EBT.

Are there any other government benefits that I might qualify for? I've never lived on my own before, I'm 21 and I really have no idea what to expect with this whole ordeal. Any input is greatly appreciated!

[SamiPolizzi]

Hi Bethanieeee! I wish I had some advice to offer, but I really don't. Just wanted to say hi and it's nice to see you here. Sorry about the split up, but it sounds like it's for the best (just finished reading your lj post.) Good luck! And if all else fails, come live with me!

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Oh Beth. I remember you from our DDC. My son is just a couple days older then your daughter.

I am so sorry things didnt work out!

No advice, just lots of

[madeofstardust]

Thanks for the offer, Sami. I have a lot of out of state offers for living, but I really want to stay put in Orlando for awhile, at least. I'm already registered for school and don't want to move too far away for now. I will def consider it for the future though! We could even be back-up doulas! hahahahaha.

Thanks for the supportiveness, Barbie! I remember you too. It's really better this way, I'd rather raise Aisy in a happy, peaceful environment than an angry and resentful one :]

[justmama]

call your local human services office. a lot of states have a welfare to work program where you recieve TANF and food stamps and free child care while going to school. In my state you get pell grants for your tuition at a local community college. I know in California you can go to any school in the state but are only given a certain amt of money in pell grants and would have to take out loans for the rest. Here in my state you only get 2 years at this college for an associates and then you are on your own but in other states, that's not the case. But your state should have a program like this in some form or another, even if it just gives you a few semesters of education. That's probably worth looking into because it will save you several thousand dollars.
Best of luck to you. I wish school was possible for me at this point but with 3 children and no way to afford daycare AND rent on top of school loans, I think it's just not in the cards for a few years. We make it on child support but it's a nerve-wracking way to live and it's NOT comfortable to say the least.

[Rosehip]

To answer the original question, I afford it by living with family. I am assuming that if you stay in Orlando, that is not an option for you. Would it be an option if you moved? PLEASE be cautious with taking on debt. It can strangle you. Once the grace period is up, you have to start paying, and student loans just don't go away. Choose a major that is very practical and has good career prospects at the end. I would tend toward something that would leave you in the position to be certified/licensed for something specific - x-ray tech, for instance. Your ex needs to be contributing child support.

[elsie123]

I was a single mom for years (and likely will be again). I lived on a preschool teacher's salary, ds came to school with me, and I did other odd jobs.

My 1st suggestion to you would be to lower some of those expenses. I can't imagine having a $100 electric bill, I bet you could get it down w/conservation tactics. And the phone could be a ton cheaper too, we have a 2 phone plan with a lot of options and it's only $69.

Tutoring is a great idea, I know tons of people who do it and if you find the right clients you can charge $50-80 an hour.

I found part time jobs that I could take my kid to- I did weekly childcare at a synagogue and did light janitorial work on the side of teaching so I never had to leave ds when he was small. Also made things to sell- that worked well.

Regardless of your child's father's circumstance, he should absolutely be contributing financially. I know here in MA you cannot receive assistance from the state unless your child support is officially in place. There are numerous state programs you can benefit from regarding child care, being a student, your college/university should be able to help you with this too.

[meemee]

MAMA you seem to be starting already on a GREAT foot. you even have free help. how great is that.

check with your school and see what they have to offer thru teh welfare program.

i see the rent taking out a big chunk.

how about state assisted housing. you might need to get onto a waiting list for now. check some of the new housing communities. they might have a waiting list for subsidised housing.

[madeofstardust]

Thanks for all the suggestions, ladies!
I know $100 sounds high, and it totally is, but I am calculating the ABSOLUTE maximum that it could possibly be so that I KNOW I'll have it covered no matter what.
I'm really expecting it to be around $50.
My stbx runs the a/c allllll day long, I only use it when the house is over 85. He keeps it at 72. I turn lights off, he leaves them on ALL THE TIME. We currently live in a house that's about 2,000 sq ft and my new house is 944 sq ft. Our current electric bill is usually around $130ish. So, logically speaking, my bills will be less than what I listed, I just want to be prepared.

I am going to look into welfare and TANF and all that now!

I feel such a huge amount of relief, I actually CAN do this!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by elsie123

Tutoring is a great idea, I know tons of people who do it and if you find the right clients you can charge $50-80 an hour.

WOAH!!!!! just let me know where that is and i will be right there. even our community college professors dont make that much.

the price around here is about $20 an hour. WOAH!!!!!

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by madeofstardust

So, logically speaking, my bills will be less than what I listed, I just want to be prepared.

This is very wise. I was taught that whenever I budget, round UP to the nearest dollar and always figure worst case scenerio. Makes for less surprises.

[Theia]

I want to add that if you can get into subsidized housing where your rent is 30% of your income.... that is a huge lifesaver! It makes affording the rest of life much much easier.

[elsie123]

Originally Posted by meemee

WOAH!!!!! just let me know where that is and i will be right there. even our community college professors dont make that much.

the price around here is about $20 an hour. WOAH!!!!!

definitely depends on where you are. I'm talking about the greater Philadelphia area.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by elsie123

definitely depends on where you are. I'm talking about the greater Philadelphia area.

I'm guessing that most of the people who are charging those rates have a bachelors, at the minimum. Or they're teachers or at least very experienced tutors. I think the OP is starting her associates, so this is probably not a probable rate at the moment.

[meandmine]

Originally Posted by meemee

WOAH!!!!! just let me know where that is and i will be right there. even our community college professors dont make that much.

the price around here is about $20 an hour. WOAH!!!!!

Where I live we are at a minimum of $50 an hour for tutors. But, I live in a high cost of living area ...

M

[provocativa]

But back to the OP, I think you can do much better on rent than that. Do you really need a house? Why wouldn't a duplex with a yard do, or even an apartment with yard access for the first year? Florida is also very generous with food stamps and TANF compared to where I live- I have a friend who received both here and there.

[Penny4Them]

You've had some great advice so far.

1. Human Services will tell you about Women, Infant, Children (WIC). We are thankful to be using that right now, as things are really rough for my family. It goes up til the child is 5, but you have to constantly requalify by showing your paystubs (if you have any).

2. One thing that's helped me save TONS are coupons. You can subscribe to the Sunday only paper, or buy at grocery store and cut coupons. Also, there are tons of Web sites that can be useful, you can print from your computer. I don't buy a ton of packaged foods or cleaning products, but I still have saved a lot of moolah using coupons. Here are a few sites I check out regularly, although some of them are more conventional (and not at all good for people or planet) you can still find some useful ones:

freebies and coupons.
http://www.vocalpoint.com/index.html

Coupons, coupons, and MORE coupons
http://www.allyou.com/coupons-deals/

http://bricks.coupons.com/Run.asp?tqnm=qkeicuz28606359

http://coupons2.smartsource.com/smar...utm_campaign=0

http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/O...921824c6422312

http://coupons.redplum.com/offers/de...DefaultZipCode

Organic coupons http://coupons.mambosprouts.com/online_coupons


You have to register for one to access and print
http://www.snackpicks.com/coupons_myaccount.aspx


This one is great because it allows you to sign up to save for kid's college. It also offers coupons that will load to your grocery and drug store rewards cards. No coupons to print.
www.Upromise.com



I contacted our phone and electric companies.

3. Phone company offered me a $10 credit a month b/c we qualify and are using a human service service. I had to apply, but basically, I told them my situation and asked them if they offer any help to struggling families. They also gave me a price match with a competitor's service so that I wouldn't switch.

4. Electric company (Progress Energy in NC) has an online tool that helped me come up with ways to reduce our monthly electric. They told me that Human Services has some national program to help folks with their electric bills.

5. Contact your insurance and ask your rep to see how they can help you lower your bill. Do you have a good driving record? Can you take a free course by them to lower it even more? Drop collision on your car if it's a junker, that will save a little.

6. Make your own cleaning products and laundry detergent. We do and this saves a lot and is so much better for environment (personal AND global).

Hope these ideas help! Good luck! You are one smart mama and I know things are going to be fine for you and your LO!

[anon_abroad]

Hi madeofstardust,
It is tough to stay on a tight budget, but it looks like you have things covered and child care taken care of. There are always unexpexted expenses, so take into account at least 150 / month for unexpected things that pop up, like car breaking down, initial expnses to get utilities hooked up in your name (if that's the case), needing a new________, an unexpected health expense, going to the hairdresser or whatever....... there always seems to be to something happening in life that wasn't accounted for in the budget!
I saw your ideas on how to make some money, and ebay and tutoring sound EXCELLENT, but about selling things at the flea market: I've done it and don't reccommend it, becuase it is VERY time consuming and I don't think you'll have that kind of time on your hands! First of all you need a lot of time and money to prepare all of the items to sell, then you need to prepare your stall at the market everytime you go (loading things in boxes, loading things in the car, unloading at the market, putting them back in the boxes, putting them back in the car after the market, then unloading at home again....it's not easy work, especially if you have a lot or have to bring your own table or stall as well!). My experience is that the income does not come even CLOSE to the amount of effort put into it. BUT if the market you are talking about is humming with buyers and the other sellers are making money out of it, then you could try it if you have time to dedicate to it.
I think tutoring is your best bet, you can choose the hours, ask a decent hourly rate, work at home.....
Best of luck!

[hillymum]

I have no advise but wanted to tell yo i am going through the same thing.I don't even know how much income I will have to live on. it is a scary prospect!