please help calm my fears!

[mi.birthdoula]

I'm confused....

DH got a vasectomy done in March of 2009 while I was still preg with ds. He never went in to have his count taken...at all....he thinks the surgery is foolproof and he doesn't want to spend $40 for the test.

Anyways, I had ds last aug, and we've been nursing, and still are. AF returned for the first time on June 1st, and lasted 7 days, and was just like any other cycle I've ever had. Nursing freq didn't change at all before this. Now it has been 1.5 months and still no sign of AF making her return...with both of my dd's AF returned with no prob every month.

So now I'm starting to kind of somewhat lightly FREAK OUT. Has anyone ever exp the return then disapearance of AF like this? I know the statistical prob is low that the surgery didn't take, but then again we conc'd all our dc while on diff forms of birth control in the first place. Anyone have any other ideas why this might have happened? My brain is kind of freaking right now, normally I would just go buy a test, but we REALLY don't have ANY extra cash right now.

[Carolyn R]

FWIW, my PPAF always took awhile to regulate, so what you're decribing sounds perfectly normal in my book.

If this hasn't been your normal pattern, I can see why you'd be concerned, but I do think it's fairly normal for the first few cycles to not be regular, especially if you're still nursing.

Hope you get the news you want!

[MaerynPearl]

very very normal for AF to be irregular when you are still nursing (any amount of nursing can screw up some women, other women can do the EBF thing and still get AF back right on schedule)

I wouldn't worry. But I WOULD make your DH go in to get that count done. I can not tell you how many V-babies I have heard of due to a DH with that attitude!

[mama to 2 girls]

Completely normal! I had AF return at 6 weeks pp with all 3 of my kiddos.... With dd1 it returned and was like clockwork every month just like before being pg, never missed a "beat"..... with dd2 it returned and then like you I had a few annovulatory cycles and it freaked me out a bit but by the time she was about 7 mos. old or so (which would have been about 5 cycles or so) it was right back to normal.... with ds same thing returned at 6 weeks pp and so far my cycles with him really didn't even out until about 8 mos. ago or so.

I EBF all of them...... BUT I am in the same boat as you only I have had 5 mos. or so of very predictable cycles and now here I am 2 days late. I am headed out to the store in a few to get a test. I am so stressed out right now that even though the odds are that i'm not pg, I have to know, otherwise it will just drive me crazy.

OH and my dh did go back at the 12 week mark and get tested and he got the all clear. But I would MAKE your dh go and get tested. Also I am curious, the dr. that dh went to they will do a sperm count check for free. Are you sure it's going to cost $40?

[alyssatuininga]

Completely normal. I wouldn't worry. I bet you are fine.

[mi.birthdoula]

Originally Posted by mama to 2 girls

Completely normal! I had AF return at 6 weeks pp with all 3 of my kiddos.... With dd1 it returned and was like clockwork every month just like before being pg, never missed a "beat"..... with dd2 it returned and then like you I had a few annovulatory cycles and it freaked me out a bit but by the time she was about 7 mos. old or so (which would have been about 5 cycles or so) it was right back to normal.... with ds same thing returned at 6 weeks pp and so far my cycles with him really didn't even out until about 8 mos. ago or so.

I EBF all of them...... BUT I am in the same boat as you only I have had 5 mos. or so of very predictable cycles and now here I am 2 days late. I am headed out to the store in a few to get a test. I am so stressed out right now that even though the odds are that i'm not pg, I have to know, otherwise it will just drive me crazy.

OH and my dh did go back at the 12 week mark and get tested and he got the all clear. But I would MAKE your dh go and get tested. Also I am curious, the dr. that dh went to they will do a sperm count check for free. Are you sure it's going to cost $40?

I hope you get the result you want as well! DH's doc's office doesn't actually do the count, he has the orders to go to a diagnostic office, and we don't have any insurance so it will cost $40 for the test, plus they will not send the results to us or to our reg family doc, they will only send them to the urologist since he's the one that order the count costing us another $120. I think its all pretty screwy that they won't just send the result to either us or our fam doc cause he will only charge us $20 for an office call to review them with us, or his nurse will just let us have a copy for free.

Thanks to everyone!

I really want him to go get the test done so I won't freak out about this. I thought we were DONE with this stage, and it took me a long time to get to a peaceful place regarding being DONE, and now I feel like it is somewhat torture to me because it was so hard for me to be okay with it in the first place. And now I've got all these thoughts of "Maybe" floating around in my head. So not cool I tell ya....so not cool and so very hard on me emotionally. Which the stress is prob keeping af at bay now too.

[mama to 2 girls]

That's crazy!! I can't believe they would charge you for it. Especially that initial check! Well I did test last night and it was a BFN so I guess it's just one of those fluke things that happen every now and then with my cycles (which I don't really get but I guess it has to happen some time)....if AF doesn't come in another week I will prob test again (I bought a 2-pk, why let it go to waste right? ) just to make sure and then wait another week and call a Dr.....

I hope you can get your dh to get tested because I wouldn't be able to handle it either.....I know even though I was in total agreement for dh to have the V, it still took me a while to come to terms with it.......So I can't imagine going thru that all the time....This month has totally thrown me thru a loop too! I haven't been "late" in over a year! And that time I *knew* I didn't O because I charted. I stopped because I didn't think there was any sense in keeping it up! haha!

I hope everything works out for you!