I'm slowly going insane

[mommariffic]

Note: we have a new baby so I'm sure some of this behavior is because the last weeks of my pregnancy I was out of commission + well, a new babe = huge changes for DD.

But that said, she's still driving me crazy.

Most of the day she's a lovely gal - we read, talk, and I'm able [thanks to help] to give her lots of momma time even with a newborn. And she adores her little brother; wants to change him/hold him/snuggle him/tell him stories/sing to him. I honestly don't think she's really jealous per say. Like today we went out and she kept saying to random folk "this is Wyatt, he's new, he's my brother.."

It was cute, melted my heart

But okay, the issues are that she doesn't LISTEN. If I tell her not to do something she just continues to do it, and if I ask her to stop she ignores me until I say something like "no park if we don't stop doing ___" and she finally looks up and says "okay, no park...." so nonchalantly like "whatever mom I do what I want.." How do I respond to that sort of thing!

And another thing, we are supplementing because we have to with my DS and so 1-2x per day he has a bottle. Now, every single time DD sees him SHE wants a bottle too. Since she's going through changes I'm happy to give her a bottle of water + lemon [think baby bottle] but after she downs it she goes "can I have another one, can I have another bottle" and she will ask a hundred times and I will say "no" a hundred ways, a hundred times, and it gets on my last nerve. Today I actually said PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT THE BOTTLES" and felt 100% guilty after.


I know she's acting like a three year old but I just need advice on how to handle it because saying "shutup" isn't uh, very nice

[butterfly_mommy]

Sorry you are going insane, I can only imagine how hard it is to have a toddler and a newborn.

I also get frustrated when DS doesn't listen. I can"t remember where I read it(maybe Happiest Toddler) but it said toddlers are not really ignoring you it is just that they are so busy engrossed in what they are doing that it is the most important thing to them and they just don't register what you are saying. I can relate to that when I am reading a great MDC thread and DH is trying to tell me something

What helps for me is I have to physically touch DS to get his attention before I tell him/ask him something.

As far as the bottle thing why can she not have another bottle? If it was just water and lemon I think I would give as many as she wanted and just not make it a battle and figure she would exhaust the novelty of it soon.

[Baby_Cakes]

I know the feeling. Today I told DD to shut up, too. I feel terrible about it. What is up w/us using that phrase?? But seriously, she asked to go into the basement for like the 15,000th time and I had just HAD IT. I was about to tell her there IS NO BASEMENT. (FWIW, our basement isn't finished, she is just obsessed w/going down there, I have no idea why. The only thing down there is a huge mess and the washer/dryer!)

Anyway, I feel your pain. First step - stop beating yourself up about what you said. Just learn from it. Try not to do it again. Count to 10 if you have to the next time you get that irritated. It's normal to snap now and again, but as long as you try to control it, you're going to do just fine!

I would stop w/the ultimatums -- they do exactly what your DD is doing, using it against you and frustrating you. It doesn't work and it completely negates what you're trying to do. Have you read Happiest Toddler on the Block? Awesome book for how to communicate w/these kids so they will listen (at least most of the time).

[Xerxella]

We're all slowly going crazy. At least know you're not alone.

Definitely try to limit the battles. Think about if it's really worth the argument. Like PP said, so what if she has 100 bottles of water a day. My 3 yo still has a bottle at nap time. Do I tell anyone this in the real world? No way. But, it works for us. (P.S. He doesn't even nap. He just rests quietly in his bed for 45 minutes while drinking his bottle. Why would I do anything to stop this happy ritual?)

But, I know the feeling. Even if it's not an argument, 3 yo have to constantly say the same things over and over. My DS will ask the same why question over and over and over and over and over again. Why do they do this, I don't know, go ask your dad.....

[mommariffic]

Thanks guys, glad I'm not alone

About the bottle thing: I really don't care if she drinks a bottle, but it's this that bothers me: I give her a bottle before bed, she guzzles it and asks for another, and another, over and over and over and I know if I give her another 100 bottles she's going to pee all night [she's wearing a pull up now at night] and it'll leak on the bed and cause a mess.