I need to be very clear here. I am honestly seeking advice and I don't want to offend anyone if I use incorrect terminology or sound ignorant...because in this area I am.
My DH is a youth minister. He works with teenagers...been doing it for over 10 years. We currently have 2 brothers who attend our events who have obvious problems with social interaction. No need to list all of the things that are different about them, but it's obvious to everyone involved in the ministry...the other teens and the adult volunteers, one who is a pediatrician. the older brother has some strange behaviors but in general can interact enough with the group. The younger brother however really does not interact. Instead, he walks in circles around the perimeter of the room and quotes political commentary instead of answering questions about the topic at hand. Neither boy can really participate in physical activities, they usually just sit out while the rest of the kids play. They definitely walk on their toes.
So here's the problem. We welcome them to our activities, however it seems to me that the parents should be forthright about their kid's condition. Up to this point they have never once mentioned an issue and my DH was too uncomfortable to bring anything up. Now we are getting ready to go on an overnight trip and the mom send permission forms for both kids. DH discussed it with the pastor and they decided that they could not bring the young boy on the trip...there are too many unknowns and we do not have the staff to handle kids with disabilities or possible negative reactions to highly emotional/sensory events...this event is like a 3 day concert...loud music, thousands of kids screaming, etc. So he talked to the mom and thankfully she was understanding and then proceeded to tell DH that they know something is wrong with her son but the doctors have tested him for autism and ruled out aspergers so she doesn't know what to do. Here's the thing...our pediatrician who volunteers is SURE that both of these kids are on the spectrum, and they are not functioning enough for it to be Asperger's. So this mom is either seeing an incompetent doctor or she is in denial. These kids are 15 and 18. They are homeschooled.
I'm just really struggling with what should be done. I feel like it's really sad that these kids are not getting the treatment, therapy, whatever it is they need to improve their condition. The 18 year old is planning on going to college and live in a dorm...but I have serious concerns about his ability to take care of himself based on his interactions with us.
Do you think our volunteer (who happens to be a pediatrician) should talk to the mom? Should we recommend another doctor or a counselor?
My DH is a youth minister. He works with teenagers...been doing it for over 10 years. We currently have 2 brothers who attend our events who have obvious problems with social interaction. No need to list all of the things that are different about them, but it's obvious to everyone involved in the ministry...the other teens and the adult volunteers, one who is a pediatrician. the older brother has some strange behaviors but in general can interact enough with the group. The younger brother however really does not interact. Instead, he walks in circles around the perimeter of the room and quotes political commentary instead of answering questions about the topic at hand. Neither boy can really participate in physical activities, they usually just sit out while the rest of the kids play. They definitely walk on their toes.
So here's the problem. We welcome them to our activities, however it seems to me that the parents should be forthright about their kid's condition. Up to this point they have never once mentioned an issue and my DH was too uncomfortable to bring anything up. Now we are getting ready to go on an overnight trip and the mom send permission forms for both kids. DH discussed it with the pastor and they decided that they could not bring the young boy on the trip...there are too many unknowns and we do not have the staff to handle kids with disabilities or possible negative reactions to highly emotional/sensory events...this event is like a 3 day concert...loud music, thousands of kids screaming, etc. So he talked to the mom and thankfully she was understanding and then proceeded to tell DH that they know something is wrong with her son but the doctors have tested him for autism and ruled out aspergers so she doesn't know what to do. Here's the thing...our pediatrician who volunteers is SURE that both of these kids are on the spectrum, and they are not functioning enough for it to be Asperger's. So this mom is either seeing an incompetent doctor or she is in denial. These kids are 15 and 18. They are homeschooled.
I'm just really struggling with what should be done. I feel like it's really sad that these kids are not getting the treatment, therapy, whatever it is they need to improve their condition. The 18 year old is planning on going to college and live in a dorm...but I have serious concerns about his ability to take care of himself based on his interactions with us.
Do you think our volunteer (who happens to be a pediatrician) should talk to the mom? Should we recommend another doctor or a counselor?
