positive thoughts, ideas, suggestions, etc.

[mama24-7]

greetings.

i am going to be approaching two family members about the baby boys they are carrying. i am anything but close to both of them. they are both either directly or indirectly in the medical field so i was planning to use that in what i say to them. here is some of what i'm hoping to send tonight to one of them:

"i have a question that may seem strange; i only ask it because in the last year & a half, i've read about so many mothers who say that they wish someone would have said something to them before their baby was born."

i'll include the link to the regret thread here. i plan to mention that no med org rec's it. i also plan to include links to the great info out there - DOC, intactamerica, etc. i am going to also include the artilce about why fathers want it done. i plan to say that there are a ton of myths about it. and that taking care of an intact baby, both girl AND boy, is no big deal really. clean what is seen

i also tell her that i hope my bringing up the subject doesn't change anything for the worse between us.

if you are the kind of intactivist who thinks that we should only discuss this w/ people who ask us, are great friends/close relatives, etc, please do not post to tell me what you think i'm doing is inappropriate. i'm only looking for positive suggestions but i thank you for taking the time to read & think about this.

sus

[glongley]

If they're in the medical field, they may already think they know everything there is to know about circumcision (which probably isn't much, based on my experience in the medical field). Some medical people know that it's not really necessary but still buy in that it does have benefits, doesn't do any sexual harm, and that its the parents choice. You might want to take a tack that highlights that you've found in talking to other health professionals, that it seems that many health professionals have been short changed in what they were taught in medical/nursing school. You may want to emphasize the things that fit with their medical mindset, but that are usually left out of their training - educate them about anatomy and functions of the foreskin, the true types and rates of complications, and the ethical issues.

Good luck, and thanks for taking the opportunity to educate your family members. Gillian

[PlainandTall]

Rather than dropping a bomb of opinion... and including preemptive apologies for possibly destroying your relationship with the person just for bringing it up...

Why not approach this like a normal conversation where there is sharing of ideas and give and take?

Can't you just say, "I'm interested in your thoughts and feelings on circumcision." and go from there?

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by PlainandTall

Rather than dropping a bomb of opinion... and including preemptive apologies for possibly destroying your relationship with the person just for bringing it up...

Why not approach this like a normal conversation where there is sharing of ideas and give and take?

Can't you just say, "I'm interested in your thoughts and feelings on circumcision." and go from there?

well, i don't plan to share any opinions. and, i don't see email as a normal conversation. lastly, this baby is expected very soon so in addition to a time crunch, i rarely have two hands & the time to be productive on the computer. so, while i'd like to have a nice back & forth about it, there is the very real possibility that the baby could come before it's possible.

i did take what you said into account. i may just pose a question or two & *hope* that i have two hands & the time to type out a logical, reasonable, rational response when i hear back.

sus

[Night_Nurse]

If you want info from doctors to give to medical workers, what about these?

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp

http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/9985.html

There was also some statement published by the Dutch that came out recently. Maybe someone can link it (it was from their medical community).

[glongley]

Originally Posted by Night_Nurse

There was also some statement published by the Dutch that came out recently. Maybe someone can link it (it was from their medical community).

Summary of the circumcision position statement from the Royal Dutch Medical Association, 2010 (plus a brief Reuters news article about it):
http://circumstitions.com/news/news37.html#dutch-policy

The full policy is available in English here:
http://circumstitions.com/Docs/KNMG-policy.pdf

[Tinijocaro]

Originally Posted by PlainandTall

Rather than dropping a bomb of opinion... and including preemptive apologies for possibly destroying your relationship with the person just for bringing it up...

Why not approach this like a normal conversation where there is sharing of ideas and give and take?

Can't you just say, "I'm interested in your thoughts and feelings on circumcision." and go from there?

, and I think it could be approached this way through email. Don't apologize for asking, ask as if it is the most normal thing in the world to ask, which it is.

[elanorh]

A rough cliff's notes of what I say to friends about this:

I send a list of helpful books (breastfeeding, pregnancy, baby, etc.) -

And I say that I'd be happy to discuss natural birth, breastfeeding, working and breastfeeding, etc. with them if they have any questions at all (and cloth diapers!).

And at the end, I add something like this:

Also - I'd recommend that you research circumcision. We didn't research it much before dd1 was born, and honestly didn't have a strong opinion. Fortunately, our Pediatrician told us that the AAP says that there is no medical reason to circumcise (link to statement) - and, dd1 was a girl. I've since read quite a bit about circumcision and know that I would not circumcise if we had a son. I know I would have wanted someone to recommend I do the research, with dd1 (and would have regretted circumcision later, had she been a boy) - so just wanted to make sure you knew to add this to the things you want to actively consider before giving birth. It's a bigger decision than I realized during my first pregnancy.

##
You could of course always tack on something like, "Since you work in the medical field, I'm sure you already know that the CDC says that nearly half the boys born in the USA today are not circumcised, perhaps as a result of the fact that no medical organization recommends it anymore," or something like that. I think that sometimes with 'experts' it's helpful to approach conversations like this with the assumptions that they "of course" already know these things and are in agreement.

[PuppyFluffer]

This educational video of the function and anatomy of the foreksin, produced by Doctors Opposing Circumcision, is very educational and technical - in a medical sort of way, but still suitable for laypeople.
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html