What would you like to say to the previous owner of your house? - Page 3

[accountclosed3]

i have to say that, in our old house (which we sold before moving here), we painted over the wall paper.

we bought the model home, so the wallpaper was chosen by a professional. it was hideous, but i also hate wall paper anyway. i tried to remove it (in one small spot of the kitchen to start), and it pulled the dry wall with it. i discovered that this happens if you don't prime the walls properly for wall paper, and basically put wall paper directly on drywall. which is apparently what they did.

so, i had two options: 1. have a professional skim coat over the wall paper and then prime and paint or 2. replace all of the drywall in every room that had paper in it (which was about 90% of the house). obviously, i chose 1 because it was most cost effective at the time.

i hate doing a job that way, but i couldn't afford the time and expense of redoing the drywall and then having it primed and painted. i could afford skim coat plus paint. the rooms looked normal, so the painters did do an excellent job, IMO.

wasn't perfect, but at least you can paint over it again.

[candycat]

I'd say thanks so much for painting cool colors. The real estate agent nearly fell over himself apologizing for the bright colors everywhere and assured us we could repaint neutral - why would we want to?! We *love* the bold colors. We kept everything the same for two years now cos color rocks!

[bender]

I know your dad was so pleased about replumbing the house, but he did a piss poor job of it. Water supply lines should not come out of the bottom of the sink area. Your dad should have opened up the wall and put the pipe where the old pipes were. If he had done this, I could actually put something in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

Also, your smoking habit was gross. Even after repainting every surface in the house, having the vents cleaned, installing new carpet, refinishing the hardwood floors, your bedroom still smells like smoke.

And, you knew you were selling the house in a short sale. You knew for 6 months before we finally closed. Yet you still hadn't moved your crap out of our house, 2 weeks after closing. You seriously need to work on your planning and scheduling skills.

Thanks for installing sprinkler piping in the front dirt patch. Also, thank your friends for breaking off half of the pipes sticking up from the ground.

Oh, and thanks for never vacuuming your bedroom/bathroom area. The thing I love most in the world is to brush paint on the wall, get too close to the carpet, and pick up all sorts of stray pubic hairs. Yummy.

[major_mama11]

To the previous owner:

You are an awesome carpenter. Making the ceiling of the porch that you built completely flat, with no mechanism for the rainwater to run off, was a perfectly logical idea. All those holes that are now rotting completely through the roof sort of act like vents now, in addition to providing a handy place for wasps to nest. Neato!

Also, that was cool how you piped the water supply to the house at sort of a 30 degree angle, rather than making the extra effort to do a zigzag so that it would come in at a straight angle. This ensured that eventually the plastic piping have too much pressure on it from being at a weird angle, and would just kind of snap off. DH really enjoyed getting all that extra practice in "emergency plumbing skills", when he realized we had a couple feet of water sitting in our crawl space.

Thanks for arguing with the builders when they told you it was a bad idea to put the house in this giant earthen bowl. I'm sure the builders were just teasing you when they told you putting it here was a bad idea drainage-wise. That also really helps with making sure there is always lots of water sitting in the crawl space, contributing to the way the bathroom floor is rotting through. Yay!

Thanks for not cleaning up when your child urinated in the edges of the rooms during his potty training. Now my cat is not allowed inside, since she cannot resist defecating in all these spots.

And last of all- I know you were angry about being in foreclosure, but did you really have to take the towel racks and light fixtures with you when you left?

[MisaGoat]

Nothing quite as bad as some posts but things that irritate me:

Paint is for walls. There are outlets painted orange and dark grey, they don't get painted. There are light switches that are painted, there are doorknobs and face plates that are painted. This is an 80 year old house so the brass doorknobs are painted white. Also you painted the outside of the door white and the inside of the door brown, on a closet door. You painted the outside of another closet door white and left the inside stained wood.

You removed a wall and a radiator to make 2 bedrooms one large room but left the whole in the floor for the radiator return pipe.

You removed the bathroom vanity to place a sink that is open underneath and realized it wasn't tiled. Instead of tiling it you put gravel in it.

You forgot there was a giant hole in the wall for a medicine cabinet until the final walk through. And you took the mirror that was covering the hole. The hole isn't the right size for a medicine cabinet, we tried several, gave up and put a different mirror up.

Oh and the current design choice I am fixing: Why extend brick from one wall to the other on either side of the fireplace and out into the room several feet? And add decorative bricks in an arch pattern, poorly executed? While pulling it up today I discovered that the original hardwood is still there and there is a border pattern. I can't wait to get the rest of it up and refinish the floors.

I don't know exactly which owner to blame for these problems.

I can't complain too much because the person we bought the house from fixed everything that came up on the home inspection without any negotiation. Wax ring for toilet, fixed a sink drain, added a support beam to the foundation, fixed the pavers on the side of the house, brought the deck up to code with new railings, patched the slate roof, nothing major but really nice to have things taken care of before we bought the place.

[mamac4260]

Oh my, where to start...

First of all seller, thank you for leaving (and not informing us of) your entire cat colony living under the guest house. When we let the dogs out in the yard for the first time ever it was quite the massacre. OMG it was horrible. Despite this, four and a half years later, many of your savvier felines are still kicking. Feel free to have your relatives come retrieve them at any time. Many have relocated throughout the neighborhood and the neighbors would all appreciate you returning to get them as well.

Secondly, you forgot the trunks full of federal tax returns (complete with SSNs) and bank records. Thanks for leaving the trunk full of every medical record/bill/explanation of benefits in case we were curious to know, in great detail, the events leading up to your (husband of the household's) passing. We found your (wife of the household) numerous letters to the life insurance company wanting to try to remove your husband's first wife and children from that marriage from the policy disturbingly humorous.

The dead birds that came in through the open chimney were a great housewarming gift when we moved in.

Why did you paint over the (probably at one time) gorgeous wood beams in the two story great room a hideous shade of black/brown? Perhaps it was to match the dark brown shag carpet in the upstairs?

What oh what was the hydroponics system (with an integrated hot tub) in the greenhouse that your son built for? Actually, nevermind, I don't want to know.

Why the need for all the unique drywall textures in each bedroom? Especially the one will all the sharp peaks emerging. Lots of fun trying to remove that.

Why did random windows have plexi-glass caulked onto the interiors of them?

On a more positive note...

The wrought iron chandelier in the great room and coordinating light fixtures are absolutely awesome. I'd love to know where they came from.

The tile on the kitchen backsplash is beautiful. Again, I'd love to know where it came from.

Also the tile floors downstairs are wonderful. I'd love to sit and chat with you about how you cleaned them since I can never get the grout looking pristine.

Thank you for custom building such a functional floorplan. I couldn't have designed it better myself.

Thank you for leaving the swingset in the yard. It worked very well for us for a couple years before we got a new one for DC.

From stories we hear from locals, your family sounded like quite a group of characters. Every good ol' boy repair person we have out loves to recount hilarious stories of your cavalier antics. I wish I had your contact information. People come to the door from time to time looking for you. Many people seemed to hold you in very high esteem.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

We are in an apartment.

What on earth were you doing on the toilet that caused burn marks on the toilet seat? They make medication for that, you know.

The "Caloric Caddy" is charming, but the awkward installation dead center in the middle of the dining room wall makes it impractical for facial tissue use ("excuse me from the dinner table, I have this large booger I must take care of") and we don't use paper towels. I have tried storing other things in what is obviously a paper towel roll holder, but it is at the perfect height for children bored with dinner to paw at with marinara sauced hands. So the convenience is lost on me.

The fact that we have a built in cup-and-toothbrush holder that turns around to hide the evidence of dental hygiene in the bathroom is nice, but toothbrushes manufactured after 1972 are not only too tall for the holder but nowadays too fat to even get in said cup-and-toothbrush holder. And, TBH, one of the only pluses that I have as a parent is that I enforce dental hygiene standards on a semi-regular basis and need to provide evidence of this to all visitors, provided they do not run screaming out of my apartment wondering what on earth I could be eating that is causing burn marks on the toilet seat.

[jennifercp8]

Dear previous owners:

Thank you for never *ever* cleaning your wallpapered walls. The 30 years of dirt, grime, and cigarette smoke took me forever to take down. In every single room. And thank you, again, for hanging multiple layers of wallpaper in the kitchen.

Thank you for letting your children destroy your house. Three bedrooms trashed. Your son had/has a filthy mind - it took 4 coats of primer and 3 of paint to cover the pornography he drew all over his walls with sharpie and dark pen. I now know how much your daughter hated you, as it was written all over your walls. And I think I know why - the doorjamb was broken, and the latch at the top of the door seems to be an indicator that she was locked into her room.

Thank you for letting your cat or dog piss all over the downstairs. When we tore up the carpet, we had to replace quite a bit of the subfloor because it was soaked with pet urine. Even jugs of bleach couldn't clean it.

We understand from neighbors that this house was the 'party house' for the high school kids in town, and it definitely shows. Two years later, I am still finding glass beer bottles and beer cans in the shrubbery and around the pool. And thank you to whoever puked into the non-solid waste pump attached to the bar sink in the basement. I nearly tossed my own cookies heaving that thing out to the dumpster.

Would it have killed you to prune your shrubs every now and then? The house was covered in mold because it was so thick.

Three satellite dishes - really? Three? Let me guess... couldn't pay the current one, so you got a new one?

There are many, many more. Some of them are decor choices, so I really can't fault them. The house was probably the shizz-nit back in the day - built in 1986, central vac, swimming pool, all brick patios and walkways, intercom, etc.

[MsVyky]

ugh.

1. Thanks for doing EVERYTHING in the cheapest and fastest way possible when you put the additions on (The house was built in 1920, with the addition of the kitchen and 2nd story in the 70's). NONE of the corners are square, our kitchen sits on a slant and the carpets are peeling up at the edges. :S

2. Thanks for the REALLY crappy decorating scheme. Brown 70's lino with white laminate cupboards and a terrible paint job in the kitchen- BLOOD red. Seriously? And you really couldn't have been bothered to tape the edges? It looks awful. a 5 year old could have done a neater job.

3. Baby blue in the bathroom with completely different lino than in the kitchen. Looks ridiculous.

4.And last but not least, you might have considered fencing the entire property, not just found an arbitrary spot to end the back yard. We have 20 extras feet of land that's on the wrong side of the fence. LOL

[blizzard_babe]

We're not yet officially the owners of our house (Flying Spaghetti Monster willing and the creek don't rise, it should be ours in a month), but here goes...

• Thank you for not putting up wallpaper, or for taking it down if it was there before. Lordy I despise wallpaper.
• Why did you go through all the trouble of installing a BEAUTIFUL tiled bathroom in the (otherwise unfinished!) basement, when the main floor bathroom is so nasty? Seriously. It has that fake tile paneling on the walls, the fixtures are loose, and the plumbing to the sink just comes out of a hole in the wall. You could have at least half-@$$ed remodeled it before building a beautiful tuscan-villa-style bathroom in the basement? Seems like an odd choice...
• Generally, when one paints kitchen cupboards, one also paints the BACK of the doors, so that when one opens aforementioned doors, one doesn't see sloppy, half-painted backs.
• *sigh* Ostentatious pink and purple bedrooms. Sure, you have girls. You can't really be blamed for their color choices. But... *sigh*. The rest of your paint color choices are spectacular, though, so I guess it's not your fault.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by frugalmum

Why, why, why, did you carefully remove every beautiful door in your antique home, saw off exactly three inches from the bottom, so that you could fit your ultra-plush shag rug on the floor over the GORGEOUS pine floors?

And why did you tile exactly one third of one room with nasty vinyl tiles (over the gorgeous pine floor) underneath the shag carpet?

AAH! Messing with beautiful old woodwork is a pet peeve of mine!

Originally Posted by clutterwarrior

What were you thinking picking out those horrid tiles for every bathroom, in shades of purple and mustard? OK you were living in the 70's...guess I will forgive you! But seriously a purple toilet seat to match too?

I kind of want to see a picture of that!

Originally Posted by Red Sonja

I read somewhere that glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Well, my ceilings have craft herpes.

It is certainly the herpes of the elementary school classroom. Use it once, and it sticks around FOREVER.

Originally Posted by journeymom

The dual phone line phone attached to the wall next to the toilet are goofy. Were you expecting to have an emergency while sitting on the pot?

Hey, you never know when you're going to do something so spectacular on the can that you just NEED to call someone RIGHT NOW and tell them all about it in real time.

Originally Posted by jennifercp8

Thank you for letting your children destroy your house. Three bedrooms trashed. Your son had/has a filthy mind - it took 4 coats of primer and 3 of paint to cover the pornography he drew all over his walls with sharpie and dark pen. I now know how much your daughter hated you, as it was written all over your walls. And I think I know why - the doorjamb was broken, and the latch at the top of the door seems to be an indicator that she was locked into her room.

My friends moved into a rental house that had a lock on the outside of one of the bedroom doors. It was creepy.

[Irishmommy]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe

[*]Why did you go through all the trouble of installing a BEAUTIFUL tiled bathroom in the (otherwise unfinished!) basement, when the main floor bathroom is so nasty? Seriously. It has that fake tile paneling on the walls, the fixtures are loose, and the plumbing to the sink just comes out of a hole in the wall. You could have at least half-@$$ed remodeled it before building a beautiful tuscan-villa-style bathroom in the basement? Seems like an odd choice...[/LIST]

My guess is they finished the basement bathroom to have a usable one while renovating the main floor one, and ran out of time/money/motivation.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

My guess is they finished the basement bathroom to have a usable one while renovating the main floor one, and ran out of time/money/motivation.

Yeah, we've got a few theories. One is just what you said, and the other is that they had the intention of finishing off the entire basement, and, like you said, ran out of time/money/motivation. Another is that the parents were looking for a bathroom refuge from their (I think) teenage daughters.

Interestingly, they're never even going to get to USE the fancy bathroom in its entirety. The shower isn't even finished; they're having to finish it up before we close. Hey, whatever. Fancy basement bathroom for us .

[zinemama]

You know how you fixed those broken banister spindles by wrapping duct tape around them - and then painting the duct tape white? What the heck?

Also, what was the deal with covering a gorgeous wood floor with linoleum in - wait for it - a faux wood design?

[accountclosed3]

fancy basement bathroom. oh, i laugh so hard.

[accountclosed3]

faux wood lino over wood? no, seriously, i laugh!

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Also, what was the deal with covering a gorgeous wood floor with linoleum in - wait for it - a faux wood design?

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by zoebird

faux wood lino over wood? no, seriously, i laugh!

My right hand to God. You can picture me, 7 months pregnant, steaming that stuff off the floor with wet cloths and an iron. I'm laughing now, 10 years later. But something else was coming out of my mouth back then.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

thanks for getting paint all over the beautiful hardwood floor throughout the house and installing cheap carpet. it was super fun pulling up
Posted via Mobile Device

Man. That sucks!

First, I would like to thank them for not bothering to try to clean the house when they had to be out so I moved into somewhere that needed scrubbed. Secondly, I want to know wtf they were thinking about just about everything. Sure it "looks nice" but is entirely impractical to live in.

[BCFD]

I just remembered another one.... Um, why did our landscapers discover a buried bowling ball with your father's name on it when they were installing our new backyard????