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WDYD when your neighbors are giving teens booze to drink and they deny it ?

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Even though you seen the teenager actually drinking out of the can but the neighbors after a confrontation with them they said we don't allow kids who are underage to drink and that the can was just an empty can but at first I was thinking that but then I saw the teen put the can up to their mouth while talking when they thought I wasn't looking . The neighbors then tell the teen that this one person thinks you were drinking so they come up to me say they were not drinking that they never drink and how their family have been known to be alcholics bad . Stating that the can that was next to them was an empty can .

So the question is why would neighbors who are in their 60's be giving booze to teens who are around 15 ? If they do that with a bunch of teens so any teens going over there would be at a risk because of those neighbors public intoxicating the teens but deny it plus I'm the only one Who Sees It !

So I want to tell the mom but she's always so busy so it's hard to even be able to talk to her because she's barely even home, and sick .

But other teens who I seen there and I do not know who there parents are so I need to focus on the neighbors who are Causing the Problem but when there is a 2 against 1 from the she says and she says etc it's different because those don't want to be into trouble but know they will be .
post #2 of 25
Do you know who's teens they are? Because if they are the couples children then I would say MYOB. If you know these teens are from the neighbourhood, with no connection to the couple, and only going over there to drink then you can alert the authorities.
post #3 of 25
Either MYOB or just tell the mom what you saw and let her handle it however she wants.
post #4 of 25
Are any of the teens driving afterward? If so, I'd call the cops the next time I saw it with a teen who was there with a car. Teens + alcohol + cars = really really bad news.

If it's just the teen who lives there, then I'd tell the mom the next time I saw her. I wouldn't accuse anyone, just describe. "I saw your teen taking a swig from a beer can. I don't know your feelings about this, but I thought I'd let you know." You might also mention that if something happens to other teens who drink at their house, they'd be liable.

A lot of European countries allow teens to drink before they allow them to drive. In many ways, I find this a sane approach. Yes, a few kids go on to become alcoholics, but I don't think the percentage is any higher than in the US. And most go on to discover that it really doesn't feel all that good to get falling down drunk, and they get over that stage of overindulgence in alcohol before they learn to drive.

Our own kids will be served wine with dinner starting at about 16-18, if they want it. I'd probably allow them to have a beer at the same age, as long as they were going to be home for the evening. I would never, ever, however, serve someone outside the family. That's not my decision to make.
post #5 of 25
Thread Starter 
The neighbors has teens from the neighborhood come over their to drink then they deny it .

Cops won't do anything because they are lazy otherwise we wouldn't be the state with the highest beer consumption
post #6 of 25
I guess it would depend what the actual problem is. To me, a teenager drinking a beer, in and of itself, is not a problem. If it's that they're going over the mom's head and disregarding her wishes, then tell her. If it's that they're getting drunk and peeing in your flowerbeds, then call the cops. If it's driving, absolutely call the cops.
post #7 of 25
Before I say anything I want to make sure I understand the situation and am not just confused. With all these pregnant hormones chasing around in my body I have not exactly been the sharpest tool in the shed here lately.

That being said this is what I "think" you are saying is going on.

There is an older couple (in their 50's) with no teen children or grandchildren living in their home that live next door to you.

Teens from around the neighborhood regularly show up at this couples house and drink at least beer if not even more. Most likely all of this is taking place without the knowledge of any of the teens parents.


Did I get that right??? If so that is really really weird. I would totally be letting the parents know what is going on.
post #8 of 25
OP, how many teens are we talking about? How often? How do you think their parents would feel about this (are they to busy, often away?), do they generally know where there ids are or d they roam free and unchecked?

If I'm understanding correctly, these older neighbours do not have kids, and the kid(s) in question are from another house, who's mother is really busy and having health issues too.

Sidebar: I can understand why such a couple would enjoy the company of a teen, and feel right about allowing them to drink. I'm not saying this i a healthy scenario in your case or that I agree with them, i'm just saying there are healthy and unhealthy reasons why they mught do this.

If my info is correct, I'd mention it to the mom and that's that. If it is something that morally bothers you but is not causing trouble in the neighbourhood (noise, damages) I think you'll have to learn to deal with it. If driving is involved call the police.
post #9 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoB View Post
Cops won't do anything because they are lazy otherwise we wouldn't be the state with the highest beer consumption
I disagree with the logic in this statement.

I also don't see anything wrong with being the state with the highest beer consumption.
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCM View Post

Sidebar: I can understand why such a couple would enjoy the company of a teen, and feel right about allowing them to drink. I'm not saying this i a healthy scenario in your case or that I agree with them, i'm just saying there are healthy and unhealthy reasons why they mught do this.

.
Yes. If they're weird lonely people who buy the friendship of teenagers with alcohol so they can have company, that's a problem. I'm not sure there's much you can do about it, but it's creepy. And sad. On the other hand, if a teenager just mowed their lawn for them, and they offered him a beer, I wouldn't be too concerned.
post #11 of 25
I'm not very clear how the teens end up at this couples' house. If they are related - then it's really their say how to handle it within their family.

Do they cause trouble when they drink? Do they scream and yell and cause a scene in your neighborhood? Then call the cops. Do you see drunk teenagers driving? Call the cops.

If you know someone's parents well enough - then mention it to them. If you don't know the parents - then let it go.

My 2 cents.

then again, I grew up in a place without drinking age, and could have had just about any drink at about any age. Wouldn't you know it, I'm 27 y.o. and not once have been drunk in my life! In fact, I never had more than a glass of anything during a course of an evening (wine, beer, girly drink, you name it).

P.S. the beer consumption was a confusing comment. Germany is famous for making beer. Is that a bad thing too? Does that mean they have lazy cops?
post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
The neighbors do have kids but only one girl who moved out because she's grown up . She has been an adult for a few years .

The neighbors have so much problems and I think they are close to their mid 70's still suprised they are still alive especially since they have so much things wrong with him like emphysema so bad that she has to be on oxygen , take a nebulizer , is on around 16 prescription medicine for heart , thyroid, blood issues, blood pressure, heart , thyroid , anxiety and depression meds .

She can barely even walk but she continues to smoke and drink beer hacks up so bad so many times she's spitting up gunk, her roomie who has suffered from cancer in the throat and lungs, falls down all the time has broken her hip that she's on a walker which she barely even uses , home care people end up supporting their bad habbit buy booze and cigarettes for them instead.

They are real full of attitude neighbors especially when they are drinking til they are drunk. I end up throwing away at least 16 beer cans per day from their apartment . They yell at the kids and just cuss at them with really foul language .

Parent's don't know half the time where kids are because they let them roam around but let me say the teens who drink do not cause much trouble as those neighbors do . The teens are not old enough to drive and i'm not sure about this one mom of the teen on drinking since she's known to get drunk herself with her kids and bf around .

So i half wonder if she feels if it's okay to have her daughter to do that if it's in a moderation but i have no idea on that .
post #13 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoB View Post
The neighbors do have kids but only one girl who moved out because she's grown up . She has been an adult for a few years .

The neighbors have so much problems and I think they are close to their mid 70's still suprised they are still alive especially since they have so much things wrong with him like emphysema so bad that she has to be on oxygen , take a nebulizer , is on around 16 prescription medicine for heart , thyroid, blood issues, blood pressure, heart , thyroid , anxiety and depression meds .

She can barely even walk but she continues to smoke and drink beer hacks up so bad so many times she's spitting up gunk, her roomie who has suffered from cancer in the throat and lungs, falls down all the time has broken her hip that she's on a walker which she barely even uses , home care people end up supporting their bad habbit buy booze and cigarettes for them instead.

They are real full of attitude neighbors especially when they are drinking til they are drunk. I end up throwing away at least 16 beer cans per day from their apartment . They yell at the kids and just cuss at them with really foul language .

Parent's don't know half the time where kids are because they let them roam around but let me say the teens who drink do not cause much trouble as those neighbors do . The teens are not old enough to drive and i'm not sure about this one mom of the teen on drinking since she's known to get drunk herself with her kids and bf around .

So i half wonder if she feels if it's okay to have her daughter to do that if it's in a moderation but i have no idea on that .
I'm not sure you realize how this whole thing comes across... I'm a little confused, and still don't have clear picture of what's going on.

* The first bolded part and the second bolded part really don't mesh well together. Are you suggesting they are better off dead?.. Because that's how it comes across in your post.

* If they are yelling and cussing at the kids, how are they providing drinks?Are the kids sneaking in there? Who's looking for an argument - the kids or the neighbors?

* I have no idea why you would be going over to their apartment to throw away beer cans? Do you work for them? Do you visit and do it out of kindness? Are they throwing stuff on your property? I understand being frustrated if they are causing a big mess, but if it's on their territory - I don't think there is much you can do.

* Sounds like teen drinking is not the problem here? I realize I might be misunderstanding here, but it sounds like you do not like them as your neighbors and simply looking for something to get back at them?..
post #14 of 25
I'd leave it be. Talk to the teenager's mother if you feel you need to. Otherwise, it sounds like the teens aren't making any problems, and if you don't want to call the police, I'm not sure what else there would be for you to do?
post #15 of 25
I am not one to call the police on neighbors but in this situation...if they are publicly intoxicated and belligerent then I would suggest you call the police with an anonymous concern each and every time they are outside drinking and yelling at people. That might settle their other issues with alcohol and teens.

If you see teens drinking repeatedly with them, I would call the police.

I believe you that the police do not do anything. I have witnessed that myself but in your situation, I would still call but only if the adults are breaking the law by being drunk outside and yelling at people. Eventually, the police will have to respond. if they do not, you have a record.

When you DO call, just report the address and the nature of the disturbance. Do not give all kinds of random insight and details. The police might dismiss you if you say to much. Just get them out to the scene and let the police determine what is public intoxication, underage drinking, public disturbances, etc....and what is not.

Good luck.
post #16 of 25
Thread Starter 
Nope I'm not saying the elderly neighbors are better off dead . I'm suprised too see that they are still alive with all their issues suprised means just as it means suprised .

The neighbors yell and cuss out at the younger kids as in not the teens .

I help out of kindness by doing things they can not do so I throw away their garbage because neither one has the walking capablity , also the other neighbor is so accident prone that she needs a walker which she has trouble relying on her walking to use it because she wants to walk herself otherwise she will end up with broken bones as in knees/hips . She already had two broken hips and one broken leg .

They also have a dog for company but I do the take care of the dog otherwise if i don't that lady who has chances of to fall so easily she will be trying to walk the dog without her walker.

Then that other lady who can not even barely move from the couch and yes she nearly spends all day sleeping so does her roomie who is accident prone.

So in ways I'm assisted living volunteer for those neighbors .
post #17 of 25
I'm a prosecutor, so take this advice as you will: call the police. There are at least a few things going on here (furnishing, disorderly conduct, corruption of minors, littering) and it needs to be brought to the attention of the police. If the police don't care, call the local prosecutor's office -- they can rally the police . I know that the teens don't want to talk to you about drinking, and that's fine, but when the police are looking at charging them with underage, I willing to believe that they will quickly give up all the info on the old couple. Just be sure that when you call the police you stick to just the facts -- that way it's clear what the legal violations are and the police aren't left feeling like they are interfering in a personal matter.
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleatha5 View Post
I'm a prosecutor, so take this advice as you will: call the police. There are at least a few things going on here (furnishing, disorderly conduct, corruption of minors, littering) and it needs to be brought to the attention of the police. If the police don't care, call the local prosecutor's office -- they can rally the police . I know that the teens don't want to talk to you about drinking, and that's fine, but when the police are looking at charging them with underage, I willing to believe that they will quickly give up all the info on the old couple. Just be sure that when you call the police you stick to just the facts -- that way it's clear what the legal violations are and the police aren't left feeling like they are interfering in a personal matter.
Excellent advice!
post #19 of 25
You can give your own kids a beer once in awhile if that is a family value for you. Giving other people's kids alcohol is crossing a line. You could get a fine or do jail time. Not worth it, IMO.


http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=deasmodu...kids&csid=Deas
post #20 of 25
Thread Starter 
Next time I'm going to keep my mouth shut unless I have a video camera to record their actions .

I was asking a neighbor mother for guidance of what to do and after seeing this with No obvious proof except me and my son visual sight of the obvious . I decided to not to do that .

So but the neighbor who told me I should tell the mom told the mom herself and the mom got upset , along with the neighbors being upset who were causing the problem telling me that I'm looking like being the bad person for doing that because saying I don't know what I have seen and that I should stop telling people that the neighbors were giving booze to this girl .

Which I only mentioned it to One person as in to ask for guidance .

But for some reason when this lady came out as I was confronting her after she was lecturing me and I said I know what I saw because she couldn't believe that the neighbors would do that . I even said my son can back me up .

She said when you talked to this gal who told the mom that I told T to have Z to stay away from R.

No all I did ask was a What should I do and then I was planning on waiting until I got proof then I would show it from there .

Now those drunks and older people plus other parents are thinking I'm trying to put down other parents when I'm being the eye on them and I can know when they are doing a No No ! So then they don't like that one single bit because I am giving their kids a consequence so if I was a teacher at a school they wouldn't be whining like that but as I am a mom of another parent who some people say I should just butt out & not worry of helping the other kids to do something they won't hurt or harm themeselves .

Or try and comfort the kids when those drunks are yelling at the kids and I tell those drunks to settle down because I can take care of it and they are like Yeah right .

Because I learned the last time I kept to myself and didn't do that my ds got a bloody lip

So maybe if kids just get rowdy and the neighbors get obnoxious I guess I will have to take my son in then to be the bad eye in them so I'm not seeming like I'm parenting other kids since no other parents are out there watching them.
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