"Well you know *he's* going to get beaten up!" - Page 2

[cschick]

I kind of wonder if people doing stuff like that is the reason why the sweet little boy down the street (he'll be turning 5 this Sept) felt it necessary to announce first thing, the first time he was over at our house, that his favorite color was pink.

Luckily, my boy's response was "Me too. I have a pink bag."

[34me]

Ultimately he's 4! He will change so much in the next 6 months, a year, 5 years etc. When my 14yo ds was in preschool they made handprint shirts for the end of the year. Each shirt had each Child's handprint on them. Both years my son's was the only one in pink. I have pictures his kindergarten teacher took of him in the dress up corner of him in a dress wig and heals. Off and on he's had pink shirts. And you know what? He's also played defense on his travel hockey team since he was 6. And spends his share of time in the penalty box. Ds2 is my quieter gentler boy who wouldn't dream of playing a physical sport or wearing pink.It's all fine.
Am

[InMediasRes]

I can't imagine someone saying something like that in front of my child either. Have you tried something like "He's 3! Kids are always changing. It could be different by the time he goes to school."

Which is not to say that you'll be encouraging him to change his mind about his preferences, but maybe it will put her mind at ease a little so she'll back off?

My son has a pair of sparkle flip flops, some hot pink ones, loves to wear clips in his hair and a purple bracelet. He's 3.5. He's gotten a lot of comments from the neighborhood girls, but they've gotten a lot of "pink is just a color, and boys are allowed to like it too." from me. I'm not really sure what I can do about the social pressure, but I don't like squashing my sons' preferences either. I think I'm going down the "learning how to stand up for yourself" route.

[nextcommercial]

If I may...the word from the teens I know...

The skinny jeans are emo. That's cool. The goal is androgyny, which is why these boys often dye their hair, paint their nails, etc. Interestingly I know girls who say they're "emo," but I can't tell a heck of a lot of difference from being goth back when I was in high school.

Being metrosexual is a more adult phenomenon. Men who are "metrosexual," - i.e. sleep with women but do lots of primping and self-care - are professional men who in many ways are working (unconsciously, of course) to redefine masculinity in such a way that not caring for your skin, hands, etc. is not required to be "manly."

Originally Posted by AFWife

I feel like my "cool points" went up a couple of notches just reading that.

LOL Me too.

It was so much easier when all I needed were a pair of Button fly Levi 501 and nikes.

[MJB]

My youngest son is starting kindergarten next month and his big brother and I had to talk him out of a pink backpack this morning. I'm not worried that he would get beat up, but he would get teased and I expect him to use this backpack for the next few years and I know he'd probably come to regret it (and likely blame me for letting him get a pink backpack in the first place). My 7.5 yr. old was telling him, "Everyone will tease you if you have a pink backpack," and I assume he knows what kids are like these days. I don't care that his favorite color is pink, and he is welcome to wear a pink shirt but I'm not going to buy another backpack in a couple months when he is tired of being picked on for it.

Also, my mom says the same thing about how we "pressure" or "manipulate" our kids into liking things. It's ridiculous. My older son doesn't eat meat and she thinks I've manipulated him into it... even though my husband and I both eat it. What the heck?

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by Zan&Zav

if my son went to school with a pink purse he would be beat to a pulp. it's wrong and i know its wrong. he does what he wants and dresses as he wants when he is home but going to school there is no purses or painted nails, ect. i don't want him to have a target on his back and the kids here are horrible. kids have been beaten up for a lot less.

Oh wow, that's sad. Would you mind sharing what part of the world you live in?

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by AFWife

When I was little my mom would always do a "flag" on our thumb nails for July 4th...my brother was SO JEALOUS. So, she would paint his nails with clear polish so he could be included.

He's a very manly Marine now...

when he was younger, DS often asked me to paint his nails. Granted it was never bright baby pink (that would look horrible with his skin color!) but anything from red to glittery purple to dark blue to black...

and he wants to be a Marine when he grows up too!

FWIW DSs favorite day at school is gender bender day when they encourage kids to dress up in ways they usually wouldn't (DS gladly wore his little sisters polka-dot dress) to show them that clothes do not make you who you are.

IMO the girls sort of get the shaft on that day because honestly, who glares at a little girl who wears pants? But it DOES allow the boys to go out in public wearing skirts or dresses and not get dirty looks... and to learn that how you dress has nothing to do with anything.