The discussion in the Playground Drama thread I recently started has me pondering the issue of responsibility. Here are a couple of situations that have me examining my previous assumptions re: where my responsibility ends and someone else's begins:
1) I've always taught my girls to be mindful of smaller children when they are running around and playing on equipment in the same space -- but I've always thought of swinging as an activity that has a self-defined space. It's been cool with me if my child wants to swing with her eyes closed and experience the sensation of flying ...
I understand that small children are sometimes liable to wander in front of a swing without paying attention, but I've always felt it was up to parents to protect and guide their small children as I did my own when they were tiny -- not up to the children enjoying the swings to make sure that small children don't get kicked.
Someone was recently upset that her 3yo sister walked in front of my dd's swing and got kicked. She demanded an apology from my dd, who was surprised to learn that she'd kicked someone; she hadn't felt her foot connect with anything, and naturally hadn't seen anything as her eyes were closed.
2) When my children are riding bikes, I encourage them to be aware of others in their path and to avoid hitting them -- but a child recently let his tiny (chihuahua mix) dog loose to run at our local park, and the dog gravitated toward running right up close to the wheels of my daughter's bike while she was riding around the track. She kept trying to veer away from the dog, but, in dog-like fashion, he kept running into her space and getting right up close to her wheels.
The boy later complained that dd had run over his dog. I honestly don't feel that dd was responsible for whatever may have happened. She was trying really hard to bicycle away from the dog because she didn't want him to get hurt, but she also wanted to keep on riding her bike.
In both cases, the people accusing my daughter were children themselves -- a 12yo supervising her younger sister and a little boy out with his tiny dog. I understand that a 12yo wants to chat with her friends, not actively supervise her tiny sister, so it's not exactly fair to hold her responsible for her sister's safety.
I also understand that a young kid is going to think it's fun to bring his tiny dog to the playground, and then he's going to want to run off and play with his friends -- not watch over his dog and keep him out from under people's bicycle wheels.
Finally, I understand very well that the 12yo and the boy with the tiny dog are probably both liable to get blamed by their parents if something bad happens to their charges, so it's perfectly natural for them to look for someone else to pass the blame to.
I "get" all this, so I'm going to try to be more vigilant about preventing small children and animals from getting hurt at the park, NOT to the point of acting like "park police" and getting into other people's business -- mainly just for the purpose of getting along and avoiding more ridiculous accusations of my children.
I'm curious about other people's perceptions re: responsibility in the situations I described. Do some of you think my child or I were at least partly to blame for whatever harm may have occurred?
1) I've always taught my girls to be mindful of smaller children when they are running around and playing on equipment in the same space -- but I've always thought of swinging as an activity that has a self-defined space. It's been cool with me if my child wants to swing with her eyes closed and experience the sensation of flying ...
I understand that small children are sometimes liable to wander in front of a swing without paying attention, but I've always felt it was up to parents to protect and guide their small children as I did my own when they were tiny -- not up to the children enjoying the swings to make sure that small children don't get kicked.
Someone was recently upset that her 3yo sister walked in front of my dd's swing and got kicked. She demanded an apology from my dd, who was surprised to learn that she'd kicked someone; she hadn't felt her foot connect with anything, and naturally hadn't seen anything as her eyes were closed.
2) When my children are riding bikes, I encourage them to be aware of others in their path and to avoid hitting them -- but a child recently let his tiny (chihuahua mix) dog loose to run at our local park, and the dog gravitated toward running right up close to the wheels of my daughter's bike while she was riding around the track. She kept trying to veer away from the dog, but, in dog-like fashion, he kept running into her space and getting right up close to her wheels.
The boy later complained that dd had run over his dog. I honestly don't feel that dd was responsible for whatever may have happened. She was trying really hard to bicycle away from the dog because she didn't want him to get hurt, but she also wanted to keep on riding her bike.
In both cases, the people accusing my daughter were children themselves -- a 12yo supervising her younger sister and a little boy out with his tiny dog. I understand that a 12yo wants to chat with her friends, not actively supervise her tiny sister, so it's not exactly fair to hold her responsible for her sister's safety.
I also understand that a young kid is going to think it's fun to bring his tiny dog to the playground, and then he's going to want to run off and play with his friends -- not watch over his dog and keep him out from under people's bicycle wheels.
Finally, I understand very well that the 12yo and the boy with the tiny dog are probably both liable to get blamed by their parents if something bad happens to their charges, so it's perfectly natural for them to look for someone else to pass the blame to.
I "get" all this, so I'm going to try to be more vigilant about preventing small children and animals from getting hurt at the park, NOT to the point of acting like "park police" and getting into other people's business -- mainly just for the purpose of getting along and avoiding more ridiculous accusations of my children.
I'm curious about other people's perceptions re: responsibility in the situations I described. Do some of you think my child or I were at least partly to blame for whatever harm may have occurred?
Definetly not the swingers fault though - the only thing your dd could have done, had her eyes been open was to say 'hey kid! watch out!!' and that very well may have helped.
