I try so SOO hard to be AP, but apparently my child isn't on board. :| - Page 2

[Laurel]

Thanks, sunnmama!

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by Laurel

Thanks, sunnmama!

You're welcome

I forgot to clarify, we did focus on the worst behaviors first. My dd was violent (hitting, kicking, throwing objects), so at first screaming was ok, and "zero tolerance" was just for physical loss of control. We moved the standard progressively until all "unacceptable" behaviors were encompassed.

[Laurel]

I don't know that my ds has any anxiety issues or anything like that other than the sensory. We have learned to let go when it comes to things that will bother him sensorily (like clothing--we simply do not pick that battle).

I actually tried your ideas yesterday and was successful in heading off two different meltdowns. The moment he started screaming or calling me a name, I immediately put him on his bed and told him I could not be called names and we'd have to discuss things later. Amazingly, he came downstairs calmly within a few minutes each time. (I have no illusions that this would happen every time...) The second time, once he had calmed down, I actually remembered to problem-solve with him (as in the book The Explosive Child), and we figured out a mutually agreeable solution to what he'd been angry about. I felt very encouraged!

[sunnmama]

Wow, Laurel, that is encouraging! Dd's initial response wasn't nearly so receptive

[MamaMom]

Me too - DD attitude and mean mouthing needs to chg

I have this problem with my 3 year old- 3 going on 8. So hard "modeling" and "channeling" when they have those rude outbursts in front of friends. My dd loves to say she doesn't love me anymore and is running away...