I'v browsed around in this forum over the years but have never posted, I hope you don't mind me popping in now. I have a very good friend of mine with several children, 3 are with her current DH. We would all hang out together, last year we hired him to do some work on our house, they were struggling, we needed some things done.... It turned very nasty, we saw an entire other side of him that I think most people don't realize is there, it was bad enough that as much I love her, I would not let him back into my house even to get his tools, i brought them to her instead. Things have been bad between them for a while now. He came back from a trip to see his mother less then two weeks ago and announced he was leaving that week. He is still there but given everything she has been telling me, I think he is only still around because his/their oldest child is out of town. I say it this way because he has made it very painfully clear lately, that all the children are not his despite him being the only father ever in the picture. 
All the info that she has said about his behavior since his return, her catching him looking for things, charges, little comments he makes, I seriously think he is planning on taking the 3 children across the country to where his mother is.
There is a huge long history, but basically the MIL never has liked my friend and has ever only wanted those children, she is researching his law options in that state, that much my friend does know. He is talking to MIL twice a day right now, sometimes for 2 hours at a time, never around where my friend can hear. Given what I have seen what he is capable of, I can see him saying he is taking them swimming and then just heading East instead. We chatted for hours today, we see each other once a week for several hours, and each week lately the stories she shares keep getting worse. Today I connected all the dots and shared my suspicions with her. It had never crossed her mind that he might just up and take the kids.
She is clueless about her options. I thought if she filed for separation then a temp custody agreement could be filed as well. She has been the main caregiver, and mostly a SAHM for 8+ years now. Which is a big problem and why she is still with him, she doesn't know how to support her children. Her degree and background is useless in our area (international jobs mostly), we live in a high COL area, she works part time making not much over minimum wage. He isn't putting his paycheck in the family account anymore so she literally has no money available to her, child support for her other child has never been an option. I don't know what else to tell her. She is so sweet and trusting, that I don't want something to happen because she was giving him the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, it is her life and her choices, but I want to make she knows all of her options as well. She knows I will help in any way I can. Anything else that I can share with her?
All the info that she has said about his behavior since his return, her catching him looking for things, charges, little comments he makes, I seriously think he is planning on taking the 3 children across the country to where his mother is.There is a huge long history, but basically the MIL never has liked my friend and has ever only wanted those children, she is researching his law options in that state, that much my friend does know. He is talking to MIL twice a day right now, sometimes for 2 hours at a time, never around where my friend can hear. Given what I have seen what he is capable of, I can see him saying he is taking them swimming and then just heading East instead. We chatted for hours today, we see each other once a week for several hours, and each week lately the stories she shares keep getting worse. Today I connected all the dots and shared my suspicions with her. It had never crossed her mind that he might just up and take the kids.
She is clueless about her options. I thought if she filed for separation then a temp custody agreement could be filed as well. She has been the main caregiver, and mostly a SAHM for 8+ years now. Which is a big problem and why she is still with him, she doesn't know how to support her children. Her degree and background is useless in our area (international jobs mostly), we live in a high COL area, she works part time making not much over minimum wage. He isn't putting his paycheck in the family account anymore so she literally has no money available to her, child support for her other child has never been an option. I don't know what else to tell her. She is so sweet and trusting, that I don't want something to happen because she was giving him the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, it is her life and her choices, but I want to make she knows all of her options as well. She knows I will help in any way I can. Anything else that I can share with her?
