Reporting suspected abuse?

[Raine822]

OK, I don't know if this is the right place to post this or if I am allowed to provide the article but I received an e-mail with a copy of a pledge. The pledge is to report suspected child abuse/neglect and gives 10 signs to look for. It states that proof is not needed and urges people to report just on suspicion. At least half of the signs are things that could be normal or due to other causes, such as returning to old behavior(bedwetting, thumbsucking), changes in eating, and changes in sleeping. I googled and found the same article basically but in other versions it does explain that just one of these signs alone is probably of no concern. The one I received does not. I am curious if anyone else has received this? What do you think?

If I am allowed to post it or a link and you would like to see it I will.

[VisionaryMom]

Child abuse typically does not manifest with only one sign. I don't think most reasonable people would say "oh, Susan's started sucking her thumb again...time to call CPS." OTOH, thumb-sucking in an older child, especially when it's a new or returning habit, does suggest that something is going on in that child's life. Added to other signs, then yes it does often indicate abuse.

Part of the problem with abuse is that people let it go unchecked for various reasons. I cannot tell you the number of adults who knew that we were being abused - sometimes because we *told* them. Yet, those people didn't do anything, so I'm inclined to think that few people who sign an online pledge really are going to call. It's more of an awareness campaign than anything.

[AllisonR]

I don't know, I don't have the article to see. But reporting abuse just on suspicion sounds like a way to start deep paranoia - the whole big brother is watching you thing. Might also backfire as well. Abuse is SERIOUS - sometimes deadly serious. But if a bunch of people were reporting that little johnny started wetting his bed again and said his brother was a sissy = abuse, it could hurt the reporting process. Then the real and serious cases might not get the proper attention they deserve. Just my 2 cents. Again, would need the article to make more than a random judgement.

[shanniesue2]

I recently served as a juror on a child sex abuse trial (it was an awful experience for me) and I learned several things about abuse that I didn't know before. I'd seen all thoses lists of signs and symptoms of abuse before serving on the trial... but what I learned through several expert witnesses was that not all children who suffer abuse show signs and symptoms. And some children don't know they've been traumatized. Also, I learned that 90% of little girls who have suffered sexual abuse will show nothig abnormal on their physical exam.

Now, I'm not saying all this b/c I think that those lists aren't useful (I think they are very useful)... I think the point is that different children will manifest abuse differently. The lists of signs and symptoms are a general guide and not to be used as a checklist in the same way that you would with an illness or disease. Having all the signs doesn't necessarily mean that abuse has happened. And having none of the signs doesn't necessarily mean that abuse hasn't happened. But knowing the signs can be useful in determining when a child is in need of help. Did I make that clear as mud?

Bottom line, if you suspect that a child is being abused (whether it's circumstantial evidence, physical signs like bruises, the child discloses abuse to you, or whatever) you should report it to CPS. And if it's serious and immediate enough, call the police. It isn't the reporter's job to investigate or prove that abuse has happened.

[canadianhippie]

I agree with PP (and that would have been an incredible difficult thing to go through.)

When you call CPS or CAS, they will investigate the situtation with a social worker or a public health nurse. Police will be involved if abuse has taken place, or when police is called they must report to CAS if children live in the house. I dont think people should hesitate on calling, its not as though the children will immediately taken away and who knows, the mother or father could benefit from the extra support and resources they can provide.

I think also signs of neglect are important, not just bruises or post-trama reactions. Unkept children, dirty clothes, no food/poor food choices, etc. can also be indicators of a unhealthy home enviroment for the child.

[Raine822]

Does anyone know if I am allowed to post it? What I found strange about the e-mailed version vs what I found on google was that all the information explaining that one sign does not equal abuse was removed. I am fearful to post it because of it being an e-mail I don't have an original source and it appears to be edited/different from the original I found by search.

[AllisonR]

I don't see why you can't post an email that doesn't list a sender. But to be sure - Click on this main forum, pick one of the moderators and email them and ask.

[Raine822]

This is what I received minus the comments that were added by recipients. When I searched for similar documents they had several paragraphs detailing more. I just can't help but think(but I am distrustful of overuse of reporting which is why I wanted thoughts on this) there will be people who read this and call for all sorts of reasons.



1) Call the police (911) immediately if I suspect that a child is in immediate danger.

2) Learn and watch out for the 10 common signs of child abuse:

* Unexplained injuries. Visible signs of physical abuse may include unexplained burns or bruises.

* Changes in behavior. Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

* Returning to earlier behaviors. Abused children may display behaviors shown at earlier ages, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers.

* Fear of going home. Abused children may express apprehension or anxiety about leaving school or about going places with the person who is abusing them.

* Changes in eating. The stress, fear and anxiety caused by abuse can lead to changes in a child's eating behaviors, which may result in weight gain or weight loss.

* Changes in sleeping. Abused children may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and as a result may appear tired or fatigued.

* Changes in school performance and attendance. Abused children may have difficulty concentrating in school or have excessive absences, sometimes due to adults trying to hide the children's injuries from authorities.

* Lack of personal care or hygiene. Abused and neglected children may appear uncared for.

* Risk-taking behaviors. Young people who are being abused may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol or carrying a weapon.

* Inappropriate sexual behaviors. Children who have been sexually abused may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

Some signs that a child is experiencing violence or abuse are more obvious than others. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact the authorities. You do not need proof.

3) Share the signs of child abuse in order to build a community protecting children.

[AllisonR]

I think this qualifies as a "Forer effect." You make enough generalizations and everybody fits the description. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

I think this qualifies as a "Forer effect." You make enough generalizations and everybody fits the description. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect

TOTALLY. I could squeeze DS into several of those categories if I tried (where does he GET these bruises?), and while I can be a little grumpy when awakened at 4:30am, I'd like to think no one's thinking of reporting me for child abuse.

I'm a mandated reporter (teacher), and it's SOOOOOOOOOOO not as easy as checking behaviors off on a list and making a call.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

I think this qualifies as a "Forer effect." You make enough generalizations and everybody fits the description. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect

This is a really good point. And some people really do see severe child abuse as so common and widespread, that they think people must be wearing blinders if they can go all their lives (as I think most people do) without ever feeling a need to report a friend, relative, or neighbor to CPS.

I get the feeling that some of these folks think the only way to make children safer is to increase the numbers of families getting CPS visits, so in their mind, making a list that many different families could fit into makes the holes in the proverbial net a little smaller.

Some families may get intervened with unnecessarily, but these folks would probably say these families should be glad to live in a world where people are looking out for their kids.

[LROM]

I don't really see this list as overly-generalized at all. OP has already pointed out that the email was flawed in that the part about "Any of these signs taken in isolation doesn't necessarily mean definite abuse" was left off the one she got, but when you include that qualifier, this is actually a pretty good list of signs to watch for.

No one is saying that a child who displays one or even a few of these signs is definitely being abused or neglected. This seems to just be an awareness campaign that children displaying multiple signs on this list MIGHT be in trouble and encouraging the public to report.

Sure, if everyone used this list there probably would be a lot of unnecessary reports. But that is what Intake is for at CPS, to screen through calls and sort out the ones that sound like they need looking into from the ones where there's either not enough info or the caller is not describing abuse/neglect.

Is intake perfect? Not at all. But this list *is* a good starting point for people who know nothing about abuse and neglect or its signs, and I don't see the problem in circulating something like this as long as people understand that a) some kids show several of these signs and are NOT being abused and b) some kids show NONE of these signs and ARE being abused. It's just a starting point to the conversation and a starting point if you are worried about a child.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by LROM

Sure, if everyone used this list there probably would be a lot of unnecessary reports. But that is what Intake is for at CPS, to screen through calls and sort out the ones that sound like they need looking into from the ones where there's either not enough info or the caller is not describing abuse/neglect.

Not sure about this. I don't think CPS is supposed to screen through the calls and decide which ones to investigate or not. Thats how even more kids could fall through the cracks, imo. I think they are supposed to investigate all calls.

Originally Posted by LROM

Is intake perfect? Not at all. But this list *is* a good starting point for people who know nothing about abuse and neglect or its signs, and I don't see the problem in circulating something like this as long as people understand that a) some kids show several of these signs and are NOT being abused and b) some kids show NONE of these signs and ARE being abused. It's just a starting point to the conversation and a starting point if you are worried about a child.

Bolding mine. Then why circulate the list? I think instead of a list, overall common sense would be the best.

In another post, a boy was physically being hit in front of a lot of witnesses. Common sense - this boy is obviously being abused right in front of my face, I should call ASAP. A little girl in my friends daycare - cheerful, happy, pleasant girl, not a bruise on her, but she was very hungry every monday morning when she came to daycare (not in itself a sign of anything). But she sometimes had the same daycare diaper on the next morning - thats a clear sign. And then she was bleeding in her private parts and complained that it hurt when her daddy wiped her - common sense was that this girl was being abused, so my friend reported it (fyi the girl is now in foster care). IMO, we need a lot less black and white phrases to sum up our rules for the world, and a lot more common sense.

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by canadianhippie

I think also signs of neglect are important, not just bruises or post-trama reactions. Unkept children, dirty clothes, no food/poor food choices, etc. can also be indicators of a unhealthy home enviroment for the child.

These are the exact things that got my cousin and his wife investigated, and yes there is abuse going on, BUT CPS still has the kids in the home.

And one of their children did have bruises, IDK what it takes to get these kids into foster care, but their home life is not ok. My calling though is hearsay, because it is, I feel so badly for their poor children.

They've been reported, there's domestic violence and dad went to jail and the kids are still there, WTH?!! I really would like to know why.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by Norasmomma

They've been reported, there's domestic violence and dad went to jail and the kids are still there, WTH?!! I really would like to know why.

Maybe now that the perpetrator of the abuse is behind bars, and the children and their mother are hopefully in counseling, this family can move forward without the children having to go into foster care.

I understand that a bystander is an abuser, too. But sometimes with the right help and empowerment, a bystander can work through her own past abuse that likely caused her to see unacceptable behavior as acceptable.

Are you saying that CPS has now totally dropped the family? There is a middle road between foster care and totally dropping a case, you know; hopefully this middle road is what is being taken here.

[Norasmomma]

mammal mama-BOTH of the parents are abusive, not just my cousin. They both have serious issues with alcohol and other substance abuse, I've witnessed it the few times I have been around them(2xs). First was their wedding, she was totally trashed and acting crazy, then at a camping trip a couple years ago. They both had DTs going on from not drinking/doing drugs, it was pretty psycho.

I'm really not sure what is going on with them, the newest thing was the domestic violence thing, but it was a mutually abusive relationship, she took off for days doing drugs and then came back and told her hubby all the stuff she'd been doing, he flipped out-they both have very serious issues.

Also there have been other incidences witnessed by my uncle and aunt, they went there for Christmas a few years ago and the parents got into a giant screamfest and the youngest son was shaking and holding onto my aunt's leg.

The school reported that the children had been in the same clothing for a week last winter, the middle son had bruising. It really doesn't sound like either of the parents are healthy or caring parents. It sounds very dangerous for these children to me as an outside person, I only get a little glimpse of what really is going on, and what I hear is totally awful

[mammal_mama]

Norasmomma, obviously you know these people better than I do -- but since you haven't been in touch lately, is it possible that the CPS intervention has spurred her to start making some changes in her life?

CPS is a lot less interested in whatever happened last January or a few years ago than they are in what is happening currently.

Of course, I don't know, maybe they really have dropped the ball on this family -- but it also seems possible that a case is still open and someone is still checking up on this mom and her kids.

I understand that sometimes it's hard to believe that someone who you have such a low opinion of can change -- but sometimes people do change. Maybe this woman is making some personal progress that you know nothing about. At least, I hope she is and I know you hope so, too!

[mamadelbosque]

Yeah, my ds1 has bruises, cuts, scrapes etc, pretty much all the time, and no, I couldn't tell you where at least half of them came from. He also hates leaving anywhere he's having the least bit of fun. And he's picky as can be some days and willing to eat virtually anything the next. And if we didn't make him get a bath (and doing *THAT* is like major abuse in his mind - I swear if we had neighbors they'd think we were beating him sensless w/ all the screaming involved....), he'd happily go w/o forever. So, yeah. Definetly not a super-useful list, IMO...

[bella99]

Well, first, unless a child is in imminent danger of serious harm and you can SEE it, there's no reason to call 911.

Every state has a child abuse hotline, and it's really the most appropriate place to call when you suspect or have actual knowledge that a child is being abused.

The fact is that the operators who pick up the phone aren't random people answering the phone and passing the information on. They are trained to evaluate the information and either refer the case for investigation or not. You have to have some sort of evidence, even if it's a child's behavior that seems off and leads to suspicion. And in NY at least, unless you're a social service professional, they don't accept hearsay. And usually, they will tell you whether the information you have provided meets the threshold for investigation and explain why.

In 2008, only about 1/3 of the calls made to the NY State Central Registry were actually accepted for investigation.

So just because someone calls CPS/Child Abuse Hotline/etc. doesn't mean that someone is automatically being investigated.

[Breathless Wonder]

Originally Posted by bella99

And in NY at least, unless you're a social service professional, they don't accept hearsay.

I know of at least 3 times in the state of NY where a call was placed alleging abuse AND severe neglect, and the caller said that they saw it first hand. In reality, it was an ex-DH having his girlfriend, his girlfriend's sister, and his girlfriend's father make the calls with his coaching. These people had not been in the house, nor seen any of the children except one, but made allegations concerning the other 2 children as well. BTW- the ex-DH later admitted to it, but since the case was closed, CPS would not prosecute the false witnesses, nor would they place a mark in the person being investigated's file.

Since then, I've always wondered how frequently this happens?

So just because someone calls CPS/Child Abuse Hotline/etc. doesn't mean that someone is automatically being investigated.

I know more than one person who was told otherwise by the social worker investigating them.

And I also know of people that have been investigated for reasons you aren't supposed the be investigated for, such as not vaccinating, homeschooling, and co-sleeping, because individually, it is not considered abuse or neglect, but all put together, it is a huge red flag in the system.

It is certainly a flawed system.