poop training resistance-probably power struggle

[sparkysgirl]

I have tried everything to get this kid to poop in the potty. She has been pee trained since she was 18 months, now she is 3.5! I think we are in a power struggle so I have totally dropped the issue with her, But doing this is what got me here in the first place. I would see that encouraging her to poop in the potty was doing no good, and back off for a while, then try again, ect. So were back to this point. I am so frustrated, I don't know what to do. Any advice. How can I make it her idea, because it seems that making it my idea makes it worse. She has done it a few times, but it happend when I wasn't paying attention.

[djenya]

We're in the same boat here. DS pee potty trained himself but won't poop in the potty (except once by accident when it came out with the pee!). When he says he has to poop I ask where he wants to poop and he has started saying "in the potty" first, but then will change it to "in the diaper". I say ok and let it go, hoping that since he actually mentions the potty maybe one day he'll try it.

[curiouscanadian]

No personal experience, but a thrid-hand idea (aka heard it somewhere) is to simply tell them: "I don't know when you need to poop. Only you know when you feel like you have to go. Pee and poop belong in the potty, so please let me know if you need help sitting on the potty when you need to go."

I would even go so far as suggesting that if you think she needs to go, rather than asking (again!) if she needs to potty, you phrase it in such a way as "You remember to ask if you need help going potty, right?" It puts the ball back in their court and then THEY can be the instigator if needed.

I would also encourage communication (EC style! ). You obviously don't want to shame them but I see no harm with stating facts. Every time you change a dirty diaper: "Oh, you pooped in your diaper. Poop goes in the potty, remember? Tell me next time and I can help you put it there." It might get old fast to you, but eventually it should sink in.