Weaning slowly

[MrsBone]

okay, so my goal is to have DS weaned by the time he's 2. He's 18 months right now. We started with only nursing for naps and bed(and overnight) and he got used to that in about 2 weeks. That was pretty easy. I just distracted him through those typical nursing times. Now, I'd like for him to go down for a nap without nursing. It worked yesterday, but not today. He just got panicked and wouldn't go to sleep. So, we are skipping the nap today apparently. I figure if he gets tired enough, he'll figure out a way to get to sleep without me I tried to rock him, lay next to him, etc, and he just wouldn't have it. I feel like I'm going slow with this, but what do you all think? I love nursing, but I want to be done with it more..I just had to weigh my feelings, and my love for nursing does not overpower my wish to be done, and move on. I get so tired of the pinching, hitting, and fidgeting that goes along with it. That and I want to have him weaned before we try for another one. And lately, nursing him to sleep hasn't been working all that well. It seems the only time it works is overnight, when he's already asleep. We cosleep, so that is going to be the last thing to go, I'm thinking. Suggestions, tips, insight?

[D_McG]

That's pretty much what I did with both my kids. I just got done weaning my 20 month old and had followed that plan (down to naps and night/overnight). She did just figure out a way to fall asleep. For a while I just stopped stressing about being home for naps and she'd take car naps. Other days I'd sing her to sleep. Ultimately she started fighting me too much and I found that she wanted to be alone. So for now I can just leave her in bed and she falls asleep by herself. Or does this http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo...eat=directlink

Last Friday I stopped altogether. She was used to falling asleep at night with DH and since I was working that night I just called it a day. I wound up having to leave the bed that night (and for 2 more nights) b/c she wouldn't settle with me. But she did great with DH and now that I'm back in bed she does fine with me, too. I noticed that she would wake and not know how to fall back to sleep so I started to say 'hug dora' (her doll) and she does. Now, if she wakes I feel her rummage around for the doll and she cuddles it back to sleep.

I started limiting nursing right after she turned 1 and especially as compared to my experience with my son, this was a really wonderful experience. I followed my gut every time I felt like we were nursing too much and led us to where we needed to be. No nursing through gritted teeth this time around!

Best of luck to you.

[asoulunbound]

I don't have any experience with successful gentle weaning because dd is 21 months and still nursing. A lot. I'm a WOTH mom, so she goes win out nursing for about 8 or 9 hours. But then when I come home, all I har are requests for nursing. Yesterday I tried counting the number of nursings and stopped about five times in the first five hours after coming home. Honestly I love my daughter and want to do the best for her, but I DO find myself literally grinding my teeth while nursing. I have actually not been on mdc in Ailey becAuse I feel like a bad mom. But this is not working for us any more. We cosleep and I feel similarly about that arrangement as well. So lately ivbeen trying to distract dd or get out of the house after work (which is hard be cause I get off at 7pm and home about 30 min later, so not much is open for long at that time of day. Sorry I can't be more helpful, op.

[AAK]

Look up the "no cry sleep method" book. It obviously isn't about weaning, but she has several tips for changing the way in which a baby/child goes to sleep.

But, I wouldn't expect to be able to go cold turkey with this. If you are only nursing to sleep right now (nap and night), then this may seem like immediate weaning. Perhaps, nurse him before nap but stop before he falls asleep. Just a small amount of nursing, let him get relaxed and sleepy--then unlatch and lay him down. Lay with him if he is used to sleeping with you--but pretend to be asleep so he doesn't try to play. Refuse to get out of bed before 15 min is up. If he isn't asleep by then, skip the nap. At least there was a bit of down time.

ETA Before I was able to put my kids to sleep w/o nursing--my dh was able to do it. So, maybe switch this up and get rid of the bedtime session first (thereby using dh to put him to bed). Once that is working well, eliminate the naptime feeding.

Amy

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I just finished gently/slowly weaning my DD. Thankfully, she wasn't that attached to nursing before bed. Now nursing when she woke up was another story...

I would suggest letting him nurse before his nap for a while, just not necessarily to sleep. Get him used to falling asleep on his own with nursing as part of a winding down routine including reading, singing, rocking, whatever works for you. Then when you remove the nursing portion you can still do all the other pre-sleeping activities.

Hope that helps!

[MrsBone]

Originally Posted by Evie's Mama

I just finished gently/slowly weaning my DD. Thankfully, she wasn't that attached to nursing before bed. Now nursing when she woke up was another story...

I would suggest letting him nurse before his nap for a while, just not necessarily to sleep. Get him used to falling asleep on his own with nursing as part of a winding down routine including reading, singing, rocking, whatever works for you. Then when you remove the nursing portion you can still do all the other pre-sleeping activities.

Hope that helps!

Thanks, I actually thought of this today. He ended up not napping yesterday and went to bed at 9, with nursing to sleep. One plus is that he only woke up once to nurse last night between 9 and 5 am. That's pretty good for him! Today, my mom tried to get him to take a nap by letting him watch music videos(used to work all the time when she was watching him on a regular basis), but he knew I was still there, so he wouldn't go to sleep. Finally, I took him in the other room and nursed him, and thought well, if he goes to sleep, fine we'll try tomorrow, but he never went to sleep, so later in the afternoon we were in the car a bunch and he fell asleep in the car. So, I think tomorrow, I will nurse him before nap, but try other ways to get him to sleep for his nap that doesn't involve nursing. Every time I try and give him a lovey, he just pushes it away and throws it on the ground. I might try and read to him after nursing. Maybe that would help ease the transition. Thanks for your input! I'd still love to hear from anyone else that wants to chime in!

[LCBMAX]

Here's my thread from Family Bed forum, but I think your responses are more what I'm experiencing.

from AAK: Perhaps, nurse him before nap but stop before he falls asleep. Just a small amount of nursing, let him get relaxed and sleepy--then unlatch and lay him down. Lay with him if he is used to sleeping with you--but pretend to be asleep so he doesn't try to play. Refuse to get out of bed before 15 min is up. If he isn't asleep by then, skip the nap. At least there was a bit of down time.

ETA Before I was able to put my kids to sleep w/o nursing--my dh was able to do it.


I have a nightweaned 2.5 year old, and partly because the rough, unmodifiable bedtime nursing is making me crazy and hurting, and partly because he really seems ready for a change, I want to drastically reduce the bedtime nursing sessions.

When I tried the suggestion above about nurse a little and then lie down, there was an utter revolt. Perhaps since your baby is so much younger, OP, you won't run into that issue. But I wonder how to adjust that suggestion for a strong willed older toddler who really knows what he wants and can ask for it as well as for a hundred other things (trains, stargazing, books, etc.) He also gets more and more physically wired as he gets more and more tired, so he's pulling tricks like upside down legs going up the wall, and flinging teddy bears so hard they hurt me.

Maybe I need to follow AAK's example and someone else's suggestion from the other thread, and move the rocking/ nursing chair to a new room, do the mamamilk earlier in the routine and then pass off to daddy come hell or highwater. Not that I would mind a return to the stage we had at 13 months or so when daddy could walk him down most nights in the ergo...