As a SAHP, do you find yourself getting bored a lot?

[InMediasRes]

Because I sure do.

My DS is 3.5, very high needs, and has some sensory issues, so going places just to look at stuff is hard for him. And I don't know what it is about this age is so greedy, but we can't go anywhere where they are selling toys. Which is like...everywhere.

And DD is 16mo and just all over the place. Between the two of them, the thought of going places unless it's going to be really worth while kinda makes me nervous.

So we're home. All day, most days. We have music class on Thursday and LLL twice a month, but all the other days feel like I'm constantly trying to escape the kids to do something for myself. I'm partly burned out of this particular stage and partly out of ideas of what to play that doesn't bore me to tears or make me incredibly frustrated.

I'm also feeling insecure about my son's age and how much he knows up to this point. We are not planning to home school, but a lot of his peers are already in preschool. He doesn't sing songs, he doesn't know his letters or numbers, he can count to 3, but he doesn't seem to really get that it means anything. I feel kinda like I should be teaching him this stuff by now, but he is incredibly resistant to learning (not that I'm sitting him down and doing lessons or anything, just seems to zone out completely or get angry at any mention of letters or numbers). I am having him evaluated by an OT for the sensory stuff, but I think he may also have some motor planning and maybe visual-spatial issues as well (not just because of this stuff).

It doesn't help that my best friend's kid was counting to 25 at this age and could write his name by 4.

I guess I feel like, if I'm bored at home, I must not be doing my job being a SAHM. Does that even make sense?

I don't really know what I'm looking for here. I was hoping someone had some BTDT advice for me.

[mamazee]

From what I understand of typical child development, your son isn't behind. Some kids learn those things earlier, but with young kids when they aren't learning one thing they're learning another, and maybe he's concentrating on something else right now. Anyway, I'd relax on that issue.

As for boredom, I was bored during the day once upon a time. I had worked a job that had pretty long hours and I was used to being rushed. It was an adjustment. For a while I would make sure we went someplace every day, nothing exciting, mainly free stuff like the park, there's a free museum around here, the library, etc. Just to get out of the house for a while and have a change of scenery. Eventually I got used to the more relaxed pace, and I'm quite happy with it now, but I will say it was a real adjustment and it took a long time, like maybe 3 years or something before I wasn't getting bored.

Oh, and this is something we've talked about here, but I'm not big on playing with my kids. I do things with them, but mainly getting projects set up, reading, talking, the older one helps me cook (and really did at 3.5 even), and she also has always helped me clean. But I don't sit and play with them much at all. I don't feel bad about that, and they are really good at amusing themselves and don't have problems with getting bored. So if I were in your shoes, what I would do is get some art supplies or something and let him at it. What my dd also likes is that we have a bin we put odds and ends in like little boxes, tape, pipe cleaners, paper, various things that could go into a recycle bin, just whatever we find that seems potentially useful, and she goes to town making "inventions". That keeps her busy for ages and she has a blast. Anyway, I'd find some stuff like that and let him amuse himself, and use the time to do work around the house or read a book or something. Oh wait, you've got a toddler too. Well get the toddler set up with some board books and toys and stay in her vicinity and then do something that doesn't bore you.

And this kind of stuff, just plain old solitary play, is very good for learning. You don't have to instruct kids for them to learn, particularly at this age. Get a little blackboard and some chalk, or a dry erase board, and let your son have fun drawing and scribbling on his own. He'll get the writing and reading down if he has the tools for learning around him. Get him in the kitchen and make some homemade playdough together and give him a rolling pin and cookie cutters and let him work on that for a while.

I will say that I did and still do read to my kids a ton. That's one thing we do a lot, even still with the 8-year-old. We snuggle up and read every day and maybe even several times a day for sometimes quite a while each time. But I don't sit and instruct and never have, nor do I sit down and play much if at all. I guess I do a bit with the toddler but not a whole lot even then. I will sometimes get her started with stuff. She likes to take a cup or can or something and put things in it, so like I'll give her a box and a bunch of spoons and she'll put them in the box one by one, and then dump them out, and put them in again. She really likes stuff like that. She also likes to line the spoons up sometimes. Toddlers seem to be more amused by non-toy items than toys though.

This has gotten long and disjointed but I guess the gist is that your job as SAHM isn't to constantly amuse and instruct your kids and your kids will learn and have fun without your continual interaction, it's OK to have time to do things you like to do so go ahead and do something that doesn't bore you, and it might help to get out of the house once a day and by all means go someplace that doesn't cost money or sell toys.

[Nazsmum]

Well, I did get borded when my first was little. But I started going out everyday no matter what. Even if it was just for a walk. (even in the winter)

Also I just sing silly song or real songs all day with my boys. We just count things that we see. We read signs and talk about letters. I don't sit down and "teach" him. Never did. I guess that what I'm trying to say is make it part of your day to sing and play. PLAY is the best thing for your kids!!!!!! So don't feel like you need to teach/ JUst let them play.


When your son goes to the OT I would ask how he is doing? Is he going for a full evaluation? (PT, OT speech) I know that sensor issues can be hard to deal with. I worked with a great OT. So make sure that the OT that you work with is well versed in sensory intergration. That is so imporant.

Sorry for spell.....Toddler on my lap.

Keep up the good work.

[zinemama]

Yes, I did. That is why I tried to get in as much reading time as I could. Kid doing his thing, me reading my book.

Nowhere is it written that being a sahm is not awfully boring at least some of the time. It is.

[Tuesday]

I definitely get bored. If you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd have said no. The last 6 months I have become increasingly angry, irritated and just plained bored. It finally dawned on me I just don't like being with small children (even my small children) constantly (i.e. 24/7) without some relief. My DH's income is not sufficent to support us, we don't have proper housing or savings ... i'm planning to go back to school and retrain (again) and hopefully the change will ameliorate my feelings. It's not that I think being a SAHM is particularly awful - it's been a wonderful ride. I just think some adults need more adult contact and conversation than others. I find myself retreating to the internet in search of discussion more and more.

[delightedbutterfly]

YEP! I am definately experiencing boredom lately. Most of my emotional stuff I had been deal with is pretty much dealt with so I don't even have myself to talk to

And my kids are at an age where they play so nicely for hours on end together. They come and snuggle and read books with me though.

To top it off I have some health problems and I am either sick or in pain and so often laying down for a good part of the day. But even when I am feeling well and get the house under control I still have time when I am bored.

We don't get out that often not because of behaviour but because somedays I can't just go for a walk and we try and drive as little as possible to save on gas.

Even with getting out of the house as a family lately has been a bit on the boring side. I figure once DD1 is in school this fall that I will have to find more things for DD2 to do and we will be less bored. (added in that we are going to open up some cash flow AND we are working on my health problems this hopefully will just be another moment in time)

[peainthepod]

I used to, so I took up some quiet hobbies that I can do while DS sleeps. I make crafty things, knit, and crochet. Projects that I can start and stop on a dime are great for keeping me busy, and it's nice to have something pretty and useful when I'm done. They also make fun "just because" gifts. And learning new skills is always a good feeling.

But it can definitely get boring. Finding free or cheap things to do outside the house is always a good idea. Libraries and museums are good for this. Even just a short jaunt to the park can make you feel less sequestered and more like your own human being again. Meeting other SAHMs and spending time with them is helpful too.

[whoami]

Sometimes I feel bad that I get bored, but I also feel the same way about having fun. I'm trying to snap out of it though. For whatever reason I feel I should be unhappy because my honey is unhappy working 10+ hours. When I take my son to do things that are fun for him, or go to playgroup or shopping or whatever it feels wrong - like I'm not doing my job. There's no reason for it though.

Since I stay home, I have responsibilities to the home, but I'm also realizing part of my responsibility is to maintain some happiness. My honey doesn't expect me to clean all day everyday, he wants me to do whatever makes me happy and so I'm really trying to find out what it is that does make me happy. This is very challenging though because what makes me happy, doesn't always make my son happy.

Today when I was bored, we hopped in the car and joined the gym I've been meaning to join and when I was there I realized that it was the perfect place for me to recharge alone with music, while little man recharges by playing with kids.

My grandma used to tell me being bored was a choice and for the lazy, and that's been ringing in my ear lately.

[flatstanley72]

YES!! When it was just me and DD (now almost 4), we did lots more fun activities, but now that I also have a 1 yo DS, it's hard to do anything and I seem to alternate between feeling totally stressed and feeling bored much of the time. We do try to get out most mornings. It's the afternoons that are long. Before it got so hot here, we would spend much of the afternoon outside, which helped, but now it's too hot to stay out for long, so I'm trying to come up with some new activity ideas that both kids can do--other than wreck the house

[newmamalizzy]

Yes, and I occupy half my time feeling guilty about it or asking the internet to tell me whether or not it's okay to feel that way. I guess the internet just answered. I have a four-month-old, and it feels like by mid-afternoon we're just recycling activities from the morning. We can't afford a new baby carrier at the moment (yikes!), so half the time I'm just carrying her around making feeble attempts to do other things with one hand.

One thing that keeps me sane is turning on NPR during the day. It lets me exercise my poor, neglected adult intellect, and doesn't take anything from my interaction with baby. I also find that playing outside is far more satisfying than staying in, even if we're just in the yard. There's something about the confinement of the house that makes my insides feel confined, too.

If nothing else, "This too shall pass" works wonders. They won't be in this stage forever.

[provocativa]

It helps me to remember how completely bored I was at work before I became a sahp. Most of my coworkers couldn't converse much better than young children. It also gets a little less boring when they are a bit older and can converse, and you can help them to engage real material (my dd is 7 and we read the newspaper together).

As an almost unschooling parent, I would challenge the notion that a young kid knows his numbers or can write his name. The kid may have memorized both facts and shapes, but I don't think the kid has a full grasp of morphenes and phonemes, or truly comprehends numbers and quantitative comparison.

[damona]

gah. yes. i get so bored i could scream. especially in the summer. it's too hot and miserable to enjoy time outside for long (especially since i burn even with spf 9000), my dh works 3rd shift so he sleeps all day and is gone all night, my oldest is off and gone with his pals most of the time, and the rest of them spend most of their time whining about what the others are doing. or aren't doing. or whatever.

i try to get out and go for a walk in the evenings at some point in between when the heat starts to ease and the mosquitoes show up in full force. that does help, especially when my friend walks with me (dh won't, at all). i also get to the farmers market once a week, and go grocery shopping in the "city" when i take my 7yo to his therapy session. i have music going a lot (i adore grooveshark.com). i also spend far too much time online lately. i need to unplug and go back to reading more, i think.

oh, and i don't think it's awful for little kids to not know their letters/numbers before kindergarten age. in the past, most kids didn't know any of that til they started school, and many kids didn't start school til 7 or 8. little kids just aren't ready to sit still and learn, so i never pushed it. we just do a fair bit of reading together and they pick up a bit as we go.