Have You Labored Alone? (In hospital, birth clinic, etc.)

[umsami]

So, for the past few days I've been interviewing doulas and such because in all likelihood DH will not be here for the birth of #4 due to a new job. I have to give birth in a hospital due to high risk (diabetes)... but have been thinking lately about bringing no support person... just laboring alone. For some reason, this is really appealing to me now.

Wondering if anybody else has done it and what your experience was like?

[PoppyMama]

I did labor alone for a while at a hospital but it was before hard labor and then after I had an epidural so I was fine for the first and napping for the last. Having gone through hard labor with no pain meds in a hospital too I can't imagine not having a support person who was on my page for that. It's so hard to advocate for yourself at all and the nurses are used to being really pushy and don't tend to listen well even if they mean well. I would take a doula and just let them know you want her to be hands off until/unless you need her.

[livelovelaugh]

All I know is that I just labored with the support of a doula (mostly at home, an hour in the hospital), and her support was immeasureable. My husband was there and he was a quiet presence, was in charge of documenting the birth with pics and video, and the doula just danced with me, held my hand, reminded me that the great force I felt was my baby coming, and grounded me in those moments when I wanted to scream but needed to moan, relax, and visualize my baby coming down - and did she ever, and quick! Of course, in the end you know what is best for you and what you want - good luck deciding!

[Mamabeakley]

One thing to consider is that in the hospital, there will be times when you are NOT alone. There will be people in and out, in and out - nurses, nursing assistants, techs, doctors, etc. If you feel you will labor better or be happier alone, you might still want a doula to be a buffer when those people are in and out. While it might not be a typical doula role, I'd think you could find someone who would be happy to help you in that way - and clear out into the hallway or past the curtain or simply sit quietly when you prefer to be alone.

[fancyoats]

i labored alone for a good amount of time at home before we went to the hospital. my dh was in the bedroom trying to get some sleep and i was in the bathtub moaning and groaning by myself for maybe 3 or 4 hours? when we finally made our way to the hospital (the "alternative birthing center" within a large hospital, actually) i was 9 cm and my dd was born only an hour later.

i kinda want to be alone again this time. like a cat goes into a dark secluded place to have her kittens, that's kind of how it felt to labor alone.

[treespeak]

I wanted to be alone for much of my labor. My DH was in the house, but he was doing his own thing. OP, are you thinking of laboring alone at home for awhile, or do you need to go to the hospital immediately because of the diabetes? I don't think laboring by myself in the hospital would be remotely like being alone at home. Because of all the people and procedures, if I needed to be in a hospital I would want someone I knew to be there with me.

[umsami]

Thanks everybody.

I've been interviewing doulas, but honestly it just seems weird to have a person who I haven't known very long with me at the birth... even if they are there to run interference, support me, etc.

I think most likely I'll try and stay home as long as possible and labor there.... and then go to the hospital at the last moment. My only concern is that DS2 came rather quickly (3 hours)... and diabetic babies are more prone to lung issues although none of mine have had them (or any issues).

I'm not shy about speaking with medical professionals and expressing my needs. Sadly, the reality of being insulin-dependent means that as much as I want to be alone, they will be in checking my blood sugar every few hours regardless. I think I'll work with my OBs on what a reasonable schedule of blood sugar checks is... and get some sort of sign off that I can give the nurses. Hopefully, other than that, I can get them to leave me alone as much as possible.

[kcparker]

I am a doula and a mama who liked to labor alone, and I would say that a doula might still be a help to you - you may not be in a mood/mental state to do a lot of talking with doctors, and how are you getting to the hospital if you have no support person and you are in late 1st stage labor? Walk? Taxi? I walked home from work for my 2nd birth, and that was actually a really lovely way to move into active labor, but I only live 3/4 of a mile from my job. A good doula will sit outside the door or in a corner, just being present to hold the space if that's what you want. I will say that I labored really well on my own, but during transition, I got really sort of stupid both times and didn't realize how far along I was, and a doula could spot that and alert the nurse (or NOT alert the nurse, if that's how you want to roll ). Also, even though I was alone (DH was inflating and filling the birth pool and my sister and DS1 were upstairs), I was glad to have my dog for company, and I was relieved when the midwives showed up because things were getting intense and I remember thinking right before they arrived and my body started pushing, "I don't know if I can do this until midnight."

I really think of a doula as a good insurance policy for a hospital birth - she will be there in case you realize that you need support, if you have an OB who turns out to be other than what you'd like, or the hospital is really busy and nobody is coming in to check on you and you can't vocalize your need for more water or find the call button in your labor daze. I would also say that having a doula might mean that since you are "taken care of," they come check on you less than if you were alone. A good nurse would be monitoring your fluid intake, making sure you pee, move, etc., but if the doula is there, she doesn't have to be as on it about some of that stuff.

[MegBoz]

I labored alone at home for 2.5 hours until DH came home from work. Then he hung out with me for a while, but after that he was running around packing the bag for the hospital. we thought we'd have tons of time, but I was in transition by that point.

I liked it. I want a "UC feel" for labor again whenever we have #2.

But I agree with everything written that is pro-doula. I would not go to the hospital where the nurses are perfect strangers & OBs are mostly-strangers without any other support person. Just the voice cutting through the clatter of someone you know & trust is great. As I've written before, if it's not too much of a financial burden, I'd much rather have a doula I didn't feel I needed, then feel I need one & not have her!

[Anna's Lovey]

I've never done it, but I'm feeling the same as you. I'm giving birth in a birthing center and one of the midwives is really supportive of my decision to be alone during the process. However, all are in agreement that I'll need my husband present in case there's a hospital transfer or any kind of emergency.
Maybe you can have a support person, but kind of plan on kicking them out of the room when you don't feel like having them there?