At what age did your child first have sex?

[rainbowmum]

I was talking with my friend about teenagers and sex and he thinks most are having sex at 13. I was kinda shocked as this sounds young to me. His niece had sex at 13, went on the pill, was sensible etc. he sounded proud. He says I am an exception to a rule as as a teen I didn't like teen boys but preferred to be alone or with nature than sleeping with the lads (hey I know I'm unique!!). He said most teens with their raging hormones start "experimenting". My eldest is 10 so do I have only 3 years before this hits??????

[mamawanabe]

We were "good girls" in hs (late 1980s) and pretty much all my friends were 15 and 16. So sophmore and jr. year of hs.

My brother hang around with a wild crowd and his friends were sexually active with thier girlfriends in 8th grade (so, yes, 13).

But this was the south, and kids in the south (small town south) tend to be "fast."

[Evergreen]

I don't think 13 is average at all. I am 23 now, and when I was growing up there were a few kids that were doing it at that age- most of the ones who we thought were, really weren't anyway. I was 16 and I now think that was too young. I hope my daughter (only 14 mos) waits until she finds the right person.

[barbara]

Originally posted by Nursing Mother
With the statistics on STD's ALL teens should be encouraged NOT to have premarital sex....in my humble opinion

I'm with Nursing Mother on this. It really isn't worth the risk and we are lying to our kids to tell them otherwise.

[Colorful~Mama]

well

yah. i agree. when i was growing up 15 was the 'magic age' for some reason.

My dd is 14.5 and has told me flat out she doesn't plan to have sex till she's married. She and I have had several conversations about it and some of my favorite "lines" from her are

1. I watched you pregnant twice and was there and saw you push Romy out - i am NOT ready to do that.
2. Ew... i'm too young to even think about sex. I don't want some sweaty boy touching my boobs
3. Oh yah, cuz I just want to have sex with one guy and then never be able to have sex with anyone else cuz I'll all have genital warts or herpes or some grossness.
4. I mean mom, you didn't have AIDS back then and i don't think having sex is worth dying over.


she's said others, dh says i should keep a running list and remind her every few months.

She did tell me during our last conversation about sex that if she does decide to have sex she'll ask me to take her for protection.
But that I can't come into the doc or midwife with her.
lol

[girlstar808]

The question in itself is a curiosity to me At what age did your child first have sex? A child having sex is not something I condone. I hope my dd's wait like how I did with my hubby (my one and only) and that is what I choose to teach them along with sex ed, of course.

My eldest dd is similar to Colorful~Mama's....She knows about sex and is not ready to reach that milestone yet if she does she will come to me first for protection etc.

[rainbowmum]

Sorry, I realised after I had posted that the word should have read son/daughter. Some do have sex at 13 which worries me as they are not in my opinion adult at that age....

[CincoDeMama]

i had sex at 13-on my 13th bday as a matter of fact (some bday present to myself, huh? nothing like a really demented picture of sex for many years to come being a gift to give to yourself!).

as for kids now having sex younger, yes, i know this is true~at least with my ds's friends it is. they all know kids who are having sex on a regular basis. a couple have even gotten pg/or gotten others pg-at 13/14!

also, most of the kids don't think that oral sex is "sex", which is crazy, imo, but true.

as for my ds, although he's a virgin still, he has had oral sex, but would NEVER tell me (his friend told me & he didn't deny it when i asked ds about it-just told me it wasn't really sex, lol). i've since modified (drastically) my sex ed talks with the kids!

btw, ds plans on losing his virginity at prom (jr), and that's fine with me. i've even agreed to rent him & his girlfriend a limo & hotel room if they wait until 11th grade for any sexual experimentation (all forms of sex!).

[Marg of Arabia]

My 15 year old has never had a "boyfriend" yet. I agree with N.M. and tell her to wait. She knows EVERYTHING! I have been extremely open with her....

[lilyka]

I htink you should have included a choice for over 19 or waited until marraige. i think that would have given you a better overall picture.

I will definitely be teaching my children to wait for marraige. I mean really, what sex has been reduced to these days (so many people in and out) is pretty gross. I don't want my children to want any part of that. They are young still though so I can't make any predictions what sort of teens they will be. I can only aspire that they will have the good sense that NM's and colorful moms children have .

[journeymom]

i've since modified (drastically) my sex ed talks with the kids!

Kas, in what way did you modify your sex ed talks with your kids?

My kids are still too young yet, so I can't vote!

[CincoDeMama]

i've added the fact that there are different 'forms' of sex & that sex is not just penetration. i also implemented some std talk about oral sex, which i had never thought of doing before this happened with ds.

the fear of a girl having herpes on her mouth has put the fear of gawd in ds hopefully he'll be able to use the little bit of self control he has to not indulge again until he's old enough to handle the emotions that come with being intimate.
(but he IS a boy-man, so i'm making sure he goes nowhere alone until that time comes!)

[mwanamaker0209]

My son was sexually active at 14. I blew my top. I am from the old school and 14 is way to young...I found out by a condom dropping out of his hand when he was handing me change..after coming back from the corner store. I lost it. I had already had a talk with him about everything he needed to know. The real deal!!! I didn't sugarcoat anything., besides school doesn't teach them enough. So I laid down the law. He is 17 now, with a girlfriend and I don't even want to know about it. I don't condone it but I have talked to him about protection and all of the bad and good things about it. I was very upset at the time. But I can't change what has happened when he was 14. I just do the best that I can to protect him and give him advice. Right now, he is getting ready for his graduation coming up soon. Then he will be 18 in Sept. and away to college so I hope all that I taught him still sticks with him...The most important thing that I did tell him is respect himself and the younglady that he is with. NO means NO. I also have a 13 year old and she has not thought about the Sex word, thank goodness! Right now she thinks boys are the next best thing to slice bread,,but no serious stuff involved. ..Well anyway,,,thats all for now.

I am getting ready to post in another board about my daughter and her attitude problem.