WHY am I so inpatient?

[Leningradka]

It greatly saddens me and makes me incredibly frustrated that I have no patience with my 18 mo. The endless whining makes me wanna run away, but then off course I feel guilty about that.
But the worse is potty training. And I know this is where you are supposed to be the most patient. But somehow, I have less patience than I did housebreaking my pups. I have spent the entire morning putting DS on the potty and reading with him while there. 2 hours later and he and potty were still dry. I turned away for 2 seconds, and he pees all over the (other) bathroom rug - not the bathroom where his potty is. This horrible feeling rises up inside me that just makes me wanna throw things and punch walls. I clean him up, put him on the potty again and tell him that peepee goes in the potty, and poopoo goes in the potty. Nothing. I ask my DH to watch him while i put laundry in the drier, and 2 seconds later hear DH yelling at the dog. I ran in to see a pile of poop on the floor and my pug eating it. (I know, disgusting). Again, that feeling rises but I am able to get a quicker and better handle on it, and I calmly take him to the potty, put him on, clean him up (still nothing in the potty).
I don't understand why I am getting so pissed off and inpatient. I literally seem to be flying into a rage (just not acting on it). Why don't I have more patience for my own child? This is the most upsetting part to me, not the misses on the potty, but my lack of patience for it. I can't get a grasp on it. What the heck is wrong with me. Even DH is surprised, he says he never thought he would see me with less patience than himself.
I don't know, may be its just the stress. Sorry for the rambling, I just needed to vent, and this seemed like the right place

[SundayCrepes]

We've done EC from birth with both our kids. Full time first baby, part time second baby. My daughter is almost 2, she has peed on the toilet since birth, and she rarely chooses to do so.

So, it just isn't time for your child to use the potty. Everything right with offering, but as you know getting upset about it is worse than counterproductive.

Whining is what drives me batty. I've come to realize my toddler whines when she is bored. I console her which teaches her to whine more. Now when she whines I say something like, "Let's go get a toy. Which toy would you like?" and either let her make a choice or just choose one for her. I am teaching her to do something when she is bored.

As for as your lack of patience...it works if I tell myself, "The slower you go, the faster you get there." Over and over again. Just like, for some reason, when my toddler does something annoying I have found myself saying, "BLESSED!!! child." (I've never said that before so don't know where it comes from.) And I say, "yes, she is my blessed child." And I calm down and put it in perspective.

I guess it might help you if you found a little phrase or thought that let you put it in perspective.

By the way, I let my toddler run naked since we have wood floors. Can't tell you how much poop my dogs have eaten. Hasn't killed them yet. lol

[chipper26]

It may be too young to potty train. My dd showed interest then but I was also sitting there with her for way too long... felt like it was just too hard and I don't think it's supposed to be that way.

I decided it was actually too stressful for me and stopped focusing on it. She lost interest anyway.

I know how you feel about being impatient, though. I've been feeling the same way lately. My dd has been so emotional and demanding. It can drain you!

[swd12422]

I agree that it might be too early. Just explain that pee and poop go in the potty or a diaper only, and if he wants to be done with diapers and wear special underwear instead, then no more going on the floor. And just keep repeating, "Not on the floor, in the potty ONLY." Calmly. (I had a hard time with the "calmly" part, too!) He'll get it eventually, but if you're getting really frustrated then just go back to diapers altogether and wait a few weeks to try again.

[NiteNicole]

I do think 18 months is just too early for your child. It may work for some kids, but it doesn't sound like your kid is one of them (mine wasn't either). You can make both of you miserable trying to MAKE him do something he may not be able to do yet or you can take a loooong break and try again later. They do not hand out prizes for early potty training and honestly, a truly potty trained 18 month old is pretty darn rare.

As for why you get so angry? Because you can not make him do it and that is terribly, horribly frustrating. You have no control in this situation. None. It does not matter if you do everything right and he is fully and totally able to control his bladder and know when he needs to go and what to do, you can not MAKE it happen.

The three things that have made me see red in my parenting journey: getting my 10 week old not to spit out meds, trying to get her to eat, and potty training. Guess what these three have in common? If she decides not to do any of them, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I have zero control in any of these situations.