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What is your situation with DP & how does she/he help w/your LO - Page 2

post #21 of 31
He is helpful in many ways. Mostly, he cooks the evening meal for us and washes up. (it wasn't always like this - just very useful and easy for me for the first year or so as little one needs me so much). He helps out around the house as well in other ways - throwing in a load of laundry as needed, etc. He is capable of taking some initiative in that respect lol He also does a lot of activities with our elded son - they both enjoy that a lot. He also helps out with little things here and there - get that for me, put that here, hold this, watch the baby for a minute... Just a few handful of mintues here and there - it is amazing what I can get done in that time if allowed!
DS2 is still very young (12 weeks old) so at the moment he is supporitve in the respect that he knows that mostly only I can meet his needs - so he helps out in the stuff I have been unable to do because of my time spent nursing/etc.
post #22 of 31
My DH actually does a lot with our daughter. I am a SAHM and my husband works close by so he comes home for lunch to give me a break but also to spend time with our daughter. He plays a lot with her, takes her on walks, bathes her, changes diapers and does the bedtime routine up until nursing. If we have a rough night with lots of wakings (I do the nighttime parenting mostly since it involves nursing) he sometimes gets up to do a diaper change though so I can sleep a little. It has been like that pretty much from the beginning. I had to establish the bedtime routine though - otherwise I wouldn't have had time to eat my dinner We both go to the grocery store but my husband does it more often cause it is better for our budget as he sticks just to the list better. Also we don't like to take Olivia to the grocery store - cause of the germs so it works if DH picks up things from the store on his way back from work.

It does sound like we do it pretty even but with a full time job and lots of overtime my husband is out at least 8-10 hours/day so I am talking about the hours that are left of the day.
The household chores we share e.g. DH is responsible for cleaning the bathroom; I am in charge of the kitchen. We both do dinners; whoever does not have the baby at the time prepares the dinner. Olivia is EBF so all the feedings and consoling are on my side but she is almost 6 months now and as she used to nurse all the time and always for a very long time this seems to change: she is getting more efficient and also more distracted. She is more mobile now and rather explores, plays instead of her lengthy nursings
post #23 of 31
I WOH and dh is a SAHD, too. There seem to be a few of us around!
DH does lots, maybe even more than his half.. he cooks, changes diaps, entertains the monkey all day long; we have a start on a farm, so he deals with the animals, veggie garden, some canning/preserving, fencing, etc. and outside stuff. Unfortunately, that leaves all the cleaning to this mama. BOO. I wash the diaps, too. It kind of stinks in that i LIKE doing outside stuff but do not enjoy housework, and he does a bit of that too; the worst thing is it's hard for either of us to find time to do creative things... hopefully that will get better as the monkey becomes more able to self direct her play (don't laugh, i need something to hope for!). We live in a remote area so there's no one to help give us couple time or babysit..
post #24 of 31
I am a sahm mom and my husband works full time outside of the home. My DH is very involved with the kids when he gets home. Usually he comes home around 5:00pm, takes 45-60min by himself to unwind and then comes in and plays with the kids. He loves to hold babies, change diapers, bath, and will put the baby to bed if need be. I do all of the night-time parenting as it's mostly breastfeeding during the night. He doesn't do any of the inside cooking or cleaning, that's my job. However, he does a lot of the outside and "man" chores and is generally helpful with yard-work (which we have a lot of because of our mini-homestead) or building projects.
post #25 of 31
i'm a SAHM until my little bugger is 1 (he's 7 months now), and DH works full-time. when we first had him DH took 2 weeks paternity to help me while i recovered and was a scared momma of a precious bundle. he was very supportive, having been through it twice before. nowadays, when he comes home he takes the baby so i can relax a bit, holds him, or takes a long walk with him and the dog, i get our dinner ready, we eat and he feeds the baby, we get the bath done as a team effort (because it's fun!), then he reads to him and puts him to bed. i do a lot of the shushing and re-settling at bedtime, but he will go in and take care of it if i have my hands full, or the baby is really fussy and is trying to attract ME for comfort nursing. DH changes diapers whenever he notices it needs doing (sometimes at my gentle "wondering aloud"). he does love to feed the baby, now that he's on solids - gives him a role that he didn't have when he was exclusively nursing (he bottle-fed his older kids since his ex was in poor health). we split housework pretty evenly, i think. i do more inside, he does all the yard-work. we also split the finance/house-running stuff. oh, i do all the shopping and laundry, since he can't be trusted to do either . i'm pretty happy with how we have things working, i just wish he could "hear" the baby in the middle of the night - seems to be just me! and often the baby just needs to have the pacifier put back in, so it frustrates me to get up to do that AND then when he actually needs nursing. i'm not sleeping too much at night. but -- i nap with the baby during the day, and he brings home the bacon, so i can't complain.
post #26 of 31
You lucky duckies!

DH and I have our own business and he does that 90% of the time. He'll delay going into work so I can shower, sometimes brings lunch home for us. I work minimally in the business when I can steal a few moments from our 5 mo old. I do all night time parenting and the majority during the week and weekend. DH will jump in if I'm super frustrated with a cranky baby, but that's about it. I do inside housework and he does outside housework. DH's priorities seem to come before mine.
post #27 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by TSomm View Post
I do all night time parenting and the majority during the week and weekend. DH will jump in if I'm super frustrated with a cranky baby, but that's about it. I do inside housework and he does outside housework. DH's priorities seem to come before mine.
glad im not the only one. I was starting to get depressed.

My DH comes home and takes baby duty or not as his mood dictates. If he does then imake dinner. If he doesnt, then dinner waits until after the baby goes to bed. Weekends i have to ask him to watch the baby, and id better have some reason he deems good (like cleaning). If it interferes w his own plans then it often doesnt happen. When he is watching DS, i have to remind him to check a disper or offer food when i hear him get fussy because he rarely thinks of those things himself.

Ya know, it sounds much worse in black & white than it did in my head...
post #28 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post
If he does then imake dinner. If he doesnt, then dinner waits until after the baby goes to bed. Weekends i have to ask him to watch the baby, and id better have some reason he deems good (like cleaning). If it interferes w his own plans then it often doesnt happen.

We must be kindred spirits. This is for us too. I feel like I have to beg to watch baby. Usually DH has "more important" plans. And when he does watch DD he'll sit her on the floor while he works on the computer. Little to no interaction.

Things are starting to get better probably because I've been complaining louder.
post #29 of 31
My husband is helpful with baby and preschooler care when he is home...
but he is gone from 730 am to about 530-6 pm... and our kids go to bed around 630-730ish.. He does come home for lunch for about 20 min and will change a diaper if I ask. He is great at playing with both kids at lunchtime and on weekends. He gets the baby in the am and brings him to me. I do all the nightime parenting and putting ds down for all naps and bed EVERY night because he has to nurse before he sleeps and in the middle of the night he just nurses and goes back to sleep so it doesnt make sense for him to get up.
He will get up with our preschooler if she needs anything but that is extremly rare. Maybe once every 2-3 months she will need something or wake up in the middle of the night.
I am a SAHM and I do 90 % of the cooking and cleaning but I sort of see that as part of my job since I am the at home parent. He does lots of errands, yard work and will helpful with house stuff if I ask.
If only he could nurse life would be alot easier..... )
post #30 of 31
I work nights and DH works days, so we basically switch off on all the baby care.
I do nighttime care, because DD is Bfed and I don't want her having to take a bottle at night. Plus with me working until 10pm, our nighttime is bonding time.
The only things he doesn't do are nail cutting, getting boogies out and cleaning nooks and crannies (like inside ears). He's afraid he will hurt her.

I forgot to add that DH has a hard time multitasking. When he's caring for DD, housework does not get done. I do both when I'm with her, but we take care of deep cleaning on days off.
post #31 of 31
dh sah, i work sleep overnights. we are both awake at home during the day. i nurse the baby but he usually feeds her and does most diaper changes. shes pretty much in our arms all day and we pass her back and forth and whoever has her puts her on the potty. usually he takes her in the morning so i can sleep jn
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