Potty mouth!

[leighi123]

How do I get ds to stop using foul langage????

Its name calling, swearing when he drops something, that kind of thing. And its all language he has picked up in passing (guy breaking something at the pizza place, teenagers walking by calling each other names)

I've tried explaining that it hurts feelings, he understands that, and knows its not nice, but he does it anyway!

I've also tried asking him to sit in the bathroom to use those words (potty talk = sit in the potty to say them). He will go in there and yell some stuff, and come out when he is done, but that doesnt stop him from saying it again.


I have got to get him to stop before we go visit my grandma, I dont want her to have a heart attack over his language!

He turned 3 on tuesday, but is VERY verbal and smart.

[Katie T]

I don't really know as I haven't had to personally deal with this issue but I have thought to myself that if we have this issue I would correct them, help them come up with other words that are ok to use. Then when they are calm talk with them about why it isn't ok to use those words.

I hope it gets better soon.

[artzy_fartzy68]

actually, the approach that worked best in our household was to pretend I didn't hear it!
I know that sounds crazy, but if they aren't words used in everyday language, they'll get dropped as long as he's not rewarded for using them.

This totally works with bigger kids, too, becasue as much as they won't acknowledge it, they mimic you. If you use a certain vocabulary, they will as well. Even when I was teaching high school, I would notice students speaking the same way I spoke, using the same vocabulary. it's very interesting how social human language is!

[BCFD]

It's not chronic here, but my kids have been known to drop a few "f" bombs (5 and 4). Today at the store, my 5 year old busts out with "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" and when I asked her what she just asked she looked like the cat that ate the mouse. What I say is that they are grown up words and even grown ups shouldn't use them. I really watch what I say around the kids, but today I freaked out when my 4 year old spilled a Sbux hot chocolate all over brand new white clothes still in the bag from Children's Place!! UGGH!! Lots of GD's going on and I felt horrible, but I was REALLY angry.

Most of the time I ignore it. The "f" bombs have disappeared (for now).

[mom2grrls]

This is straight out of Playful Parenting and I have used it with my son even at 5 and he found it amusing. Tell him you can say "whatever curse word here" but dont ever say "insert nonsense word here" and act playfully horrified when he repeats it. It just gives a playful edge to a normally tense situation and usually helps them forget about it for a while

[Llyra]

The only way I know how to deal with it that really worked for us was just ignoring it. Seriously. Especially before about age five or six. Once they figure out that those words are "special," and get a reaction from us, they keep using them over and over. At this age, they may feel like it's fun to see how upset everybody gets about those words. The words seem to hold a power over other people, and three year olds are delighted with this. And the only thing that really stops it is removing the reaction, so that the words aren't "special" anymore, and then the fun is gone.

It takes time, though, and enormous patience. You have to be consistent, and so do all the other people in his life, too. When he uses the words, just act like you didn't hear him. If you can't help but react, get up and leave the room. The less said, the better. If he uses them on people out in public, just pick him up and set him aside, ignore him, and apologize to the adult in question.

I think that anything at all that draws attention to the words-- talking about hurt feelings, placing limits on where the words can be said, acting shocked, making a game out of it, etc.-- all tend to draw attention to the words and keep them somehow "special."

A corollary to this of course has to be making sure he's not hearing the offensive language used by other people, too, in real-life or in his media exposure.

[Violet2]

I tell DD the correct word is 'shoot' or 'fudge' or whatever.

Since she's learning some of this from me I also tell her those are my words and they don't belong to her.

V

[meemee]

you'd be surprised.

since you have been working on it and nothing truly is changing i would let it go. ignore it.

what i have discovered is most kids IRL know exactly what appropriate language is. to compensate they overdo it in front fo parents.

does he do this in public too - to others?

[leighi123]

Originally Posted by meemee

does he do this in public too - to others?

Rarely - when he does, its usually something more mild, like calling an adult 'stinky'.




Ignoring it has been helping a lot lately, but now we are on vacation with my mom and she trys to explain why the language is inapropriate, every time he uses it. It just makes him do it more.

[leighi123]

Oh and silly alternatives have helped too!

He says "Oh man" a lot now, and "oh my goodness gracious"