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"Daddy helped" - Page 2

post #21 of 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by churndash View Post
My advice would be to just cut the girl some slack. She's only 8. On some level, she probably knows what her mom is, but that's such a huge thing for a child to admit - that their parent is sorely lacking. So she says things to make her mom look better, to make herself feel better...I just have a lot of sympathy for this kid.
I do try to cut her some slack - because this is the place that I vent, I probably sound more harsh than I am in person.

I also don't think that she has much of an idea of how her mom is at this point. It has only been in recent months that she has really been cognizant of things going on (asking questions about "adult" matters). Every previous break-up has been handled in the same way: DSD's mom starts dating a new guy. No explanation. It took DSD six months to figure out that they weren't moving to Greece because her mom refused to tell her. If/when this one ends, she'll know because they will have to find a new place to live and she will lose all of her friends. I really hope that her mom finds the man/house of her dreams soon, because now things are starting to count - DSD is more emotionally invested.

They still haven't explained why DSD's sister (who lives with her at her mom's house) has been in and out of the hospital for the past few months and will not be returning to school. I realize that she doesn't need a lot of details, but she needs to be told something. Especially since she is starting to pick up on things/adult conversations.


One mistake that I realized that I made is that DSD is 7 (going into 3rd grade), not 8! We've been talking about planning her 8th birthday party (early fall) and DH is always referring to her as "nearly 8," so the "8" got stuck in my head. I better go modify my signature.
post #22 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by churndash View Post
She's 8. She loves her mom. Kids love their parents, even when their parents suck. Even when their parents are abusive.

My ex is a shitty father. He always put work, his friends, and his beer before his family. He is an alcoholic and because of his drinking he can't even visit the kids unsupervised anymore. He has forgotten birthdays & graduations, broken countless promises and made them cry more times than I can count.

They still adore him. I have to bite my tongue because it hurts that I do everything for them and have to listen to them moon over their dad and how much they miss him.

My advice would be to just cut the girl some slack. She's only 8. On some level, she probably knows what her mom is, but that's such a huge thing for a child to admit - that their parent is sorely lacking. So she says things to make her mom look better, to make herself feel better...I just have a lot of sympathy for this kid.


Forum-crashing single parent here. My DS does much the same thing when it comes to his father. I understand that he is trying to deal with emotions and feelings that he can't quite process; of course, he wants his dad to live with us but...not going to happen, ya know?

The way I deal with it is to bite my tongue and agree that his dad is awesome, or has done something wonderful, or brings him super presents. I don't need the credit 'cause I am raising him; I'm his rock. His dad's fun but he isn't there in the middle of the night.
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