Deliberately falling down?

[eilonwy]

My son just fell and bumped himself; not an unusual occurance by any means. He started crying and I picked him up to console him and said "It's okay, little man, Mommy's got you." Through his tears, he said "Baby, I'm a baby" "yes, you're my baby" "Your boy babyness, I'm a baby" and then, still crying, asked to nurse because he's a baby!

Okay, I've heard of older kids doing things like this, but never ever has it come up in conversation *anywhere* that Eli might be in any way displaced from his nursies by the new baby. Where on earth would my little man get such an idea, that he has to be a baby to nurse? I'm totally blown away by this. I have no clue where he might have heard it, and can only think that he made it up in his own head. Where do kids get these ideas??

[LiamnEmma]

ah, those little guys are smarties, aren't they? Do you think it's the impending arrival? I think kids just *know* this stuff, even when we don't intend to have it be that way, or whatever. He must know that if he nurses, the new baby will nurse (assuming he knows you're pregnant), and thus, fears he will be displaced. Maybe start (or probably you're already do this and just need to reassure/reiterate) that when baby comes you'll have enough milkie for everybody...?

Leah

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by LiamnEmma
Maybe start (or probably you're already do this and just need to reassure/reiterate) that when baby comes you'll have enough milkie for everybody...?

I haven't been doing this; it honestly never occured to me! It never ceases to amaze me how much he thinks and understands what's going on around him. Times like this just blow my mind, you know? I'm aware that he understands more than most people expect, but he can still take me by surprise sometimes.

[LiamnEmma]

they truly are amazing little beings to watch aren't they? Mine never cease to amaze and tickle me.

[merpk]

Smart little guy ... since your colostrum came in, remember, it doesn't mean he's got much to drink. Still just little trickles of stuff. So he's figured it out, just a little bit there, oh no, NewBaby will get it all ...






Rynna, we always make a big point of telling the BigOne over and over about what a good sharer they are, that they're going to share nursing with the NewBaby. They may not be crazy about the idea of sharing toys, but hey, they can see very easily that there are (in my case, anyway, b'H) 2 breasts, and they know they're not doing anything with the other one at the moment, so they can afford to be generous ...

You know, then that they're so big that they get to teach NewBaby all about nursing, and how they get to be big and help NewBaby with sharing, because NewBaby won't know about how to share and nurse and and and and and and ... you get the drift.

It keeps 'em feeling on top of things, so it seems.

[eilonwy]

Oh, it makes perfect sense... It's just that, for all he's so brilliant, I still think of him as a baby. He is definately a toddler, and not a very small 8 year old, kwim? Eli's a very bright toddler, but a toddler nonetheless. So I find myself forgetting that Eli understands and remembers so much more than even I am aware of.

I asked several months ago on the Nov/Dec 02 thread if any other parents were trying to prepare their children for the arrival of a new sibling, and the responses I got were pretty much the same: It's impossible to prepare a child so young because they just don't get abstract ideas. It never even occured to me to ask people with older children; tbp I guess. I will definately make a point of telling EliBean all about sharing nursies with NewBean in the future. I'd really like to do so without making him feel displaced at all... that's one of the reasons I was so keen on tandeming in the first place! I would also like to avoid the ever common regressing, where an older child decides they want to be a baby again like the new person. I thought that nursing him and giving him love-loves was enough, but apparently he thinks I'm trying to wean him.