Weekly thread, July 18-25 - Page 4

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by jsh7809

One day at a time... and, in better news, little miss S is just the cutest dang thing you've ever seen (aside from all of your cutie pies, of course), can't stop talking while sucking in her lower lip so she sounds like she's under water. Ha!

Now I have that Edie Brickell song stuck in my head. Little Miss S.

I'll be back tomorrow with a plus-sized rant about the rest of my week and how everyone is having fun but me.

[triony]

to Dena and lnf I can't even begin to imagine how you feel, but I've been thinking of you.

JSH - I'm sorry you're struggling again. T is sucking in his lower lip, too. Very cute, makes him look like he's deep in thought, or just ate a lemon... T and S were born the same day!

Bedtime tonight was a 2 hour deal. Granted, it was one of the more pleasant, but it took forever. Bath at 8, play time for 10 minutes after that, then 10 minutes of "calm down" walking around (JENFL - T often needs to be calmed down before nursing, too, but not always) and then 30 minutes of nursing to sleep. 2 min before I was going to get up, he wakes up completely and we have to start all over again. He was doing the "fish on a hook" (thanks to whoever made that analogy last week) but thanks to someone else's suggestion I switched sides and that seemed to work. But it was another 30 minutes before I could leave. Nipples are sore, and I feel like I lost 2 hours. Well, 1. I assume bedtime will usually take 30-60 minutes.
Now he'll probably wake up in 45 min and want to nurse back to sleep. My nipples need a break! Although just today I was telling someone that I miss the time I could just chill on the couch with him latched on. Those were the days. I guess I'd better be careful what I wish for!!

[snoopy5386]

ack! our DDC is at the top of the list!! Very tired - day 2 of 9 am swim lessons for DD1 which means getting up at 7:30 am, about 90 mins before I'm usually up. Only 6 more days to go!

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by triony

JSH - I'm sorry you're struggling again. T is sucking in his lower lip, too. Very cute, makes him look like he's deep in thought, or just ate a lemon... T and S were born the same day!

Thanks for your thoughts, and thanks to everyone for always being there for me and never saying, "ahhh, just suck it up!"
And, Triony, so cute! Maybe 4/18 babies are lip suckers?
Since the sucked in lip makes her kinda go "mmmmm" when she's talking, I'm pretending she's trying to say "mama"!

[rhiOrion]

Okay, I'm back for my big rant.

When I got pregnant DH was sort of bummed because it meant he'd have to miss the yearly beach trip with his friends. I didn't want to do anything to make him resent that I was pregnant, so I told him that of course he would be able to go to the beach, but maybe for only part of the week.

He leaves today and comes back Saturday.

Every year I either go to the beach with them and/or to Falcon Ridge Folk Festival in New York. This year I am doing neither.

My friend is staying with me tonight on his way to Falcon Ridge.

My facebook is inundated with people talking about going to Falcon Ridge and getting prepared.

Another really good friend is going to be in the mountains for the rest of the week.

So, I'm stuck at home alone with the baby. I'm pet sitting my friend's dog while he goes to Falcon Ridge. This is sort of good and bad. Bad because I have to take care of yet another being by myself. Good because he's a huge frightening-looking sweatheart of a dog, and so he'll make me feel safer home alone.

I'm just feeling very down that everyone is going to the beach, falcon ridge, the mountains, etc, and having a great time. And I'm terrified of being home alone with L for so long (I so don't know how you single moms do it). And I'm feeling resentful of DH about it all, even though I'm the one who told him to go.

How do I cook dinner with a screaming baby? How do I clean up my huge wreck of a house with a screaming baby? How the heck am I going to shower? Eat dinner?

Why does DH get to have this fun vacation when I don't? I have no vacation days left after my maternity leave. So, I'm stuck at work while the rest of the world is having fun.

[sew_crafty_girl]

Okay, this is kinda horrifying, but has anyone dealt with head lice? I think I have it. Ahhhhh. Monday and this morning I combed out a live louse. I have very thick, brown hair so when dh and I looked through my scalp we couldn't see anything.

My kids had it years ago but i only saw one live one.

I guess I better start washing all the bedding and pillows and treat everyone. My kids have been at their dads for the last 10 days but I guess I better let him know too?

I feel like chopping off my hair rather than have to comb for nits and admit to everyone that I have it.

[nikirj]

We've dealt with head lice. There are natural treatments but we panicked and got overwhelmed and just did the lice wash from the store.

http://www.nuvoforheadlice.com/method_explained.htm

Some areas even have people you can hire to take care of things for you, like this:

http://www.licesquad.com/

Hot wash your bedding, vacuum daily for a few days, wash brushes/combs/etc, we didn't have them come back even thought DD had a MASSIVE infestation.

[laughingfox]

sew_crafty-
I've seen a lot of ads for this stuff in those free parenting magazines that instantly show up in your mailbox when you have a baby, but I don't really know much about it.

I also found this and thiswhile googling. Those websites say you can kill 'em with mayo, and the second link doesn't even say you have to comb them out.
It's certainly worth a shot.

[Dena]

SCG - I feel for you. That is a heck of a lot of work. I would be tempted to cut my hair, too.

Rhi - I am in the same boat. Dh is still working temp jobs and so really can't take time off - he was lucky to get two days when the girls were born - and even if he did get time off we really can't afford to go anywhere. Even going to his parents' lake house means hiring a house sitter. Sigh. And I totally understand you feeling resentful of your dh, even though you told him to go. If it were me I would secretly want him to say, no, honey, I wouldn't want to go without you and L.

Ok, the barbarian duo (sorry, LNF, had to steal that - when the babies are walking we will upgrade to horde) is demanding to be fed. Silly kids. Such unreasonable expectations.

[Knitting Mama]

SCG, you can kill lice in pillows/bedding by putting it all into large black trash bags (like the lawn and leaf kind) and leaving them out in the sun. Then wash a couple of times in hot water.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Rhi: (((hugs))) I understand how you feel. I hate reading everyone's updates about the beach, the mountains, etc when there is no way we can afford to go anywhere.

And I think it's reasonable to feel resentful that dh is going while you stay home alone. It's easy to make promises when you're pregnant not knowing how you'll feel with the baby once they actually there.

SCG: Argh! I have nothing to add to what you already have. I hate hate dealing with lice which we had to do a lot when I was a teenager as my mom taught elementary school.

Yesterday I went to a friend's house, and tried out her exersaucer. Rowena was able to touch her feet to the floor on the lowest setting and she seemed to like it. My mom offered to pick one up so I think we'll do it. My friend also gave me some stuff and we talked diapers. I decided to try and knit a skirtie. Nervous but excited to have a fun project. And I'm about to order some more covers.

Dh decided to take the job but he's been having a hard time getting a hold of the HR person.

[jenfl]

I'm a semi-working mom again! My mom is off on a week-long trip and I've been taking care of their internet business at a reduced level (they put up notice that everyone's on vacation so no one expects to get their order). DH, DD, Sprout, and I have gone in these past two mornings -- DD runs around the warehouse and plays with boxes and cardboard and helps me with little things, DH holds Sprout and wears him when he needs to nap, and I process orders and pack boxes. Right now, DH and DD are picking up a visitor at the airport, and Sprout is napping in a pack-n-play in the office while I surf mothering.

It's nice to be doing adult things for a while!

Of course.... I don't get paid.

[triony]

Rhi - I totally hear you. That would really bug me too. I get worried when i have to do 1 evening alone! Can you maybe work out a deal where you get a day to yourself someday soon? Can you have some friends come over and make or bring you dinner this week? My DH always suggests that I invite people ov or go somewhere when he has to be out at night. That never sounds good to me though, then I'll have to entertain someone else AND deal with screaming baby...

My dh's leave just got cut, so planning our vacations and trips this year just got really complicated.

I'm back to feeling really frustrated with naps during the day. It is so hard to get T to nap. I spend an hour or more with him trying to get him down, and then I never know how long he'll stay down. He's no lo ger napping well in any carrier, though it's a good way to get him to sleep. But I have to be constantly moving. I can't even stop long enough to grab the bag of laundry to take downstairs without him fussing about it. Then ensues trying ti get him out of the carrier without waking him up, or waiting the 20-30 min till he wakes up (mad) and then nursing him back to sleep. Which could take up to an hour.
Oh, and my tailbone still !really! Hurts

[sew_crafty_girl]

I like that mayo and vinegar idea. I think I'll do that one. I'll have to get DH to nit comb my hair for me afterwards. Told ex to check kids and at least they've been gone long enough that I don't have to worry about their bedding or stuffies.

[sew_crafty_girl]

Ginger, I hope H is surprised by the job and it's not as awful as it appears.

So Anna is actually napping in the crib. I don't know if it's fluke or what, but I'm following tips in The No Cry Sleep Solution and it's working, one day into it.

[Peace+Hope]

s to you mamas missing your LOs.

sewcrafty, ugh, so sorry!

rhi, i feel you. i was bummed yesterday when my husband went to lunch with his parents! it's just so hard to reconcile being the primary caregiver/food machine and the freedom my husband continues to have. not saying you do this, but i waffle a lot in my emotions over balancing the blessedness and pure annoyance i feel. imnsho, your husband should have cleaned the house before he left!

weird that the march DDC came down the third week of the month. do they warn us? is there a particular date? i want to know since i've volunteered to set up our thread in life w/ a babe...

[jsh7809]

Rhi, that sucks, I'm sorry! Can he owe you really, really bigtime when he gets back? Grr...
My DH gets to go to a super fun party that some friends throw once a year for their birthdays - this year there are supposed to be waterslides and bounce houses and the like - I was so excited about going WITH him and baby, but I got hired for a wedding that day. So I told him, "I can't make it and I'm so sad but I need the income" and he said, "oh, bummer, I was really hoping to go without the baby so I can just hang out with my friends and drink beer, I didn't want to have to babysit."
ARGH! I hate hate hate it when dads say "babysit" for their own child (although DH caught himself and apologized for that). I am already so sad that I dont' get to go, not like I really wanted to work and drive two hours each way and be away from my kid. But we need the money, and that is my freaking job. I even bid the job more pricey than I normally would and they still hired me. Silly people

So, last night DH got up with the baby and fed her by BM bottle so I could get uninterrupted sleep. Well... we all know that we can't REALLY sleep uninterruptedly, even without the baby there - my mom sense is cranked up too high. So it took awhile for me to get into a deep sleep, and when I finally did, DH brought DD in crying loudly at 3:30a.m. because she wouldn't take the bottle.
Sigh.
So I fed her and put her back in her room with him, and then I lay in bed until maybe 5:30 just stressing out about how my one chance for sleep was a failure, and how low I have been feeling, and how this means I'm going to fall back into the black hole of PPD, yada yada yada. I finally calmed down and took some 5HTP to help me go back to sleep. Then he brought the baby back in to me when he was getting up for work at 7am (even though she was still asleep? and moving her woke up her, argh). We nursed and I got to sleep again until about 8:30. So, I'm feeling okay, and a little better, but I still feel scared/ worried/ stressed/ exhausted.
The things I was thinking at 4am were really awful and terrifying, but I have more clarity and patience with myself this morning, so maybe I'm not going to the booby hatch yet (unless by "booby" I mean nursing)...

Just, I never realized how desperately sleep seemed tied to sanity, you know? I figured it'd be hard and I'd be tired and grouchy and sleepy, but... yowza!

Ivy, how are you doing?

Everyone else, hope you're getting some rest! We are typically doing a feed around 10pm, then 3am, then 6 or 7am. Sometimes more. It's not great but it's not the worst, and she'll usually fall back asleep off and on for hours throughout the morning. But after a certain point in the morning I can't fall back asleep, which is why I'm up at 9-10am this morning even though the baby's still asleep. Rats!

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

rhi, i feel you. i was bummed yesterday when my husband went to lunch with his parents! it's just so hard to reconcile being the primary caregiver/food machine and the freedom my husband continues to have. not saying you do this, but i waffle a lot in my emotions over balancing the blessedness and pure annoyance i feel. imnsho, your husband should have cleaned the house before he left!

Yes, my husband has said a few times "I just don't have any time to myself" and each time it's all I can do not to throttle him. I have to remind him that I really, truly have no time to myself, morningnoonandnight, and that if I ever do, it's so I can work or sleep. God forbid I get to take a bath or dick around doing nothing for a change. Grr!

[Knitting Mama]

What's hard for me to get through to my husband is that I don't want "alone time" -- me out of the house away from Cecilia, or him taking her somewhere-- per se, but that doesn't mean that I don't want a break! When she's just nursed and isn't hungry is prime time for him to take her into the other room and play with her, or even stay right where I am with her. But whenever I mention that I want a break he asks if I want to go somewhere, it's like he can't understand that my version of a break would be him entertaining Cecilia instead of me.

[Pepper44]

Jess what do you do when you have middle of the night panic attacks? I am prone to insane racing thoughts at 3 am (not baby related though) and I always watch the weather channel until my mind goes numb. Oddly I've also found nursing helps relax me and relieve that anxious spiral. I don't know if it's just the physical distraction or if it releases hormones that alter my panic state somehow...

Rhi I'm sorry you are stuck at home. I have such a hard time not resenting my DH for the freedom he has to just go and do things, or the freedom to sit and eat at a restaurant, or sleep all night long.

He is not a partner in baby care at all. He will maybe hold the baby for 5 minutes unhappily while I go and do some chore, but that's it. I was trying to clean the chicken pens last night (omg flies everywhere suddenly!) and he kept trying to shove the baby back on me. Makes me so frustrated.

When he complains he never has any time to himself I want to smack him upside the head. He drives an hour to and from work alone in the car listening to whatever he wants. He showers and poops alone daily, often more than once a day for the latter. I haven't done any of that in YEARS. /rant