Rhi, that sucks, I'm sorry! Can he owe you really, really bigtime when he gets back? Grr...
My DH gets to go to a super fun party that some friends throw once a year for their birthdays - this year there are supposed to be waterslides and bounce houses and the like - I was so excited about going WITH him and baby, but I got hired for a wedding that day. So I told him, "I can't make it and I'm so sad but I need the income" and he said, "oh, bummer, I was really hoping to go without the baby so I can just hang out with my friends and drink beer, I didn't want to have to babysit."
ARGH! I hate hate hate it when dads say "babysit" for their own child (although DH caught himself and apologized for that). I am already so sad that I dont' get to go, not like I really wanted to work and drive two hours each way and be away from my kid. But we need the money, and that is my freaking job. I even bid the job more pricey than I normally would and they still hired me. Silly people
So, last night DH got up with the baby and fed her by BM bottle so I could get uninterrupted sleep. Well... we all know that we can't REALLY sleep uninterruptedly, even without the baby there - my mom sense is cranked up too high. So it took awhile for me to get into a deep sleep, and when I finally did, DH brought DD in crying loudly at 3:30a.m. because she wouldn't take the bottle.
So I fed her and put her back in her room with him, and then I lay in bed until maybe 5:30 just stressing out about how my one chance for sleep was a failure, and how low I have been feeling, and how this means I'm going to fall back into the black hole of PPD, yada yada yada. I finally calmed down and took some 5HTP to help me go back to sleep. Then he brought the baby back in to me when he was getting up for work at 7am (even though she was still asleep? and moving her woke up her, argh). We nursed and I got to sleep again until about 8:30. So, I'm feeling okay, and a little better, but I still feel scared/ worried/ stressed/ exhausted.
The things I was thinking at 4am were really awful and terrifying, but I have more clarity and patience with myself this morning, so maybe I'm not going to the booby hatch yet (unless by "booby" I mean nursing)...
Just, I never realized how desperately sleep seemed tied to sanity, you know? I figured it'd be hard and I'd be tired and grouchy and sleepy, but... yowza!
Ivy, how are you doing?
Everyone else, hope you're getting some rest! We are typically doing a feed around 10pm, then 3am, then 6 or 7am. Sometimes more. It's not great but it's not the worst, and she'll usually fall back asleep off and on for hours throughout the morning. But after a certain point in the morning I can't fall back asleep, which is why I'm up at 9-10am this morning even though the baby's still asleep. Rats!