I have a couple of friends who work full-time and I SAH. Their kids are a little younger than DS (within a year) who is 2.5. We try to get together once a month or so to have the kids play and for us to catch up, but we haven't done it in several months due to rotating family issues for each of us (deaths in the family, moving, job changes.....).
So we finally got together last week, and for me it was short-lived. One of the kids (2 yo) clings to his mom EVERY TIME we meet. He interacts very little with the kids. DS is very social, so when we took a break and sat down for a snack, DS went around to sit next to Stewie. Stewie pretty much ignored him, but that was fine. Until DS randomly reached over and gave Stewie's arm a pinch to see what he would do! Of course, Stewie got upset and started crying. I called DS over to me to tell him why that wasn't nice, but he already knew that, and refused to come. I asked him again, and asked him to apologize, and he refused. So we said goodbye and left the play date after less than an hour. I apologized profusely to the moms, DS cried and said he was sorry when he realized we were leaving, but at that point I just didn't think changing my mind would be helpful. Besides, if he refused to listen to me on top of purposely being "not nice" to one kid, I was afraid of what else he'd do to the smaller kid.
DS cried all the way to the car, saying he'd be nice. He wanted me to carry him. I didn't, mostly b/c my arms were full of stuff we'd brought. He was heartbroken. And tired, and hungry, and I think those two things plus the newness of the situation are what sparked the pinch to begin with.
I did tell him that he could be nice next time we saw Stewie, but that we couldn't stay to play after he wasn't nice.
Was this mean, or a logical consequence? Normally if a pinch or push happens, he gets to sit with me in timeout for a few minutes until he can be nice again, then he gets to continue to play. But once he decided not to listen to me, the whole thing was over. What would you have done differently? What would you have wanted me to do if you were the other moms?
So we finally got together last week, and for me it was short-lived. One of the kids (2 yo) clings to his mom EVERY TIME we meet. He interacts very little with the kids. DS is very social, so when we took a break and sat down for a snack, DS went around to sit next to Stewie. Stewie pretty much ignored him, but that was fine. Until DS randomly reached over and gave Stewie's arm a pinch to see what he would do! Of course, Stewie got upset and started crying. I called DS over to me to tell him why that wasn't nice, but he already knew that, and refused to come. I asked him again, and asked him to apologize, and he refused. So we said goodbye and left the play date after less than an hour. I apologized profusely to the moms, DS cried and said he was sorry when he realized we were leaving, but at that point I just didn't think changing my mind would be helpful. Besides, if he refused to listen to me on top of purposely being "not nice" to one kid, I was afraid of what else he'd do to the smaller kid.
DS cried all the way to the car, saying he'd be nice. He wanted me to carry him. I didn't, mostly b/c my arms were full of stuff we'd brought. He was heartbroken. And tired, and hungry, and I think those two things plus the newness of the situation are what sparked the pinch to begin with.
I did tell him that he could be nice next time we saw Stewie, but that we couldn't stay to play after he wasn't nice.
Was this mean, or a logical consequence? Normally if a pinch or push happens, he gets to sit with me in timeout for a few minutes until he can be nice again, then he gets to continue to play. But once he decided not to listen to me, the whole thing was over. What would you have done differently? What would you have wanted me to do if you were the other moms?
I'm a much better parent in theory than in practice!
