Travel planning?

[snuggly]

Hi mamas I asked this in my DDC, but wanted to get opinions from far and wide, so I'm posting here too. Hope that's ok...

I am the mama of DD who is 20 months old (and still nursing strong!) and we are expecting near March 6th.

My question: we have dear friends, so close that they are like family, getting married in Hawaii when the new LO will be only 1.5 months old. Are we crazy to even consider the trip? I recall that a simple trip to the store when DD1 was that age was enough for me, but maybe we could make it happen now as second time parents... I really want to go and support them, but I fear that we are being unrealistic. I would take awhile to decide, but they have just asked DH to be best man and DD to be flower girl so for planning purposes we need to give an answer sooner than later.

What do you think? Has anyone done a big trip with a LO that young (plus toddler!) TIA!

[aikigypsy]

We flew to Ireland when DD was 5 weeks old. It was not nearly as bad as the overnight trip to Boston to get her passport when she was 3 weeks old, which I will never, ever in a million years attempt again.

I found that she was fine on the plane. We flew Continental and were completely ignored by the flight attendants -- no extra help for having a tiny baby, and no special safety instructions. The lack of safety directives made the trip easier in some ways, but didn't do much for my confidence in the airline. I had her in a Moby wrap for much of the flight, and she was small enough to lie down on a single open seat between us.

Flying with a 20-month-old is a lot more work, but I think it should be do-able.

[MaerynPearl]

In my experience when you are not a first-time parent, its a lot easier to adjust to things like that.

[blizzard_babe]

We flew from AK to WI when DS was a month and a half old. The nice thing about newborns is that they don't really care where they are; the six-hour airplane ride was probably heaven on earth for him (minus the take-off and landing)... lots of consistent background noise, constant time in arms, etc.

The logistics are a bit of a pain, security especially, but totally doable. We break things up this way: I am responsible for kid, DH is responsible for all the STUFF (or vice versa).

FWIW, DS slept his first "through the night" between Chicago and Anchorage when he was three months old. Didn't do it again until he was 18 months old .

He's WAY more challenging to fly with now that he's mobile.

[BlackSheepPDX]

We took a number of plane trips with DD when she was an infant, and even went camping when she was 7 weeks old. Car trips were hairy, but I think it may have to do with the car seat-infant hypoxia issue making them hate it. I think the infant is easy for traveling by plane...boobs, diapers, baby wearing implement of choice? You're set. The toddler on the other hand is more challenging. Once DD was mobile, it got more challenging to keep her wrangled for long periods. However, we did take a big road trip at 24 months, and did fine, with some advance planning of activities to entertain her in the car (or in your case the plane). If you've got two adults and a game plan, I think you'll be ok.

[MamaPhD]

If you decide to go, which I think is feasible, I would say to work in a lot of breaks for yourself. When I read your OP, my first thought was for you and not the baby. The baby will be fine and will sleep most of the way, etc. But man, I could not have traveled when I was 1.5 months post partum. I still had so much discomfort "down there" I could not go up and down the stairs well. We live in a 2 story house and I would plan my day so that I would go downstairs ONCE, do everything, live, eat, etc, then come up ONCE and never go back down! So, good luck!!!

[dejagerw]

MamaPhD makes a good point. You might want to run it by your dr. or midwife. You might need to get checked out before your trip. Also, if heaven forbid, you'd for some reason need a c-section, I'm not sure if that would be a reason you wouldn't be able to go. Another thing to consider is if the baby is late, you also could be travelling 1 month postpartum. Anyway, it you do decide to go, I'd be sure your ticket was refundable, just in case you are not able to go.

[new york momma]

We are first time parents planning a cross-continental flight for Christmas. Our newborn will be about 5 weeks old if born near her due date. I guess I'm naive, but I don't understand what the trouble would be. Is it difficult to sit for five hours because of healing down south? Maybe changing diapers will be awkward in the tiny bathroom? I imagine the baby will basically just nurse and sleep during the flight. I'd love to hear why Aikigypsy would never fly again with a three week old--would like to know what I can expect.

[jessica_s]

Originally Posted by new york momma

We are first time parents planning a cross-continental flight for Christmas. Our newborn will be about 5 weeks old if born near her due date. I guess I'm naive, but I don't understand what the trouble would be. Is it difficult to sit for five hours because of healing down south? Maybe changing diapers will be awkward in the tiny bathroom? I imagine the baby will basically just nurse and sleep during the flight. I'd love to hear why Aikigypsy would never fly again with a three week old--would like to know what I can expect.

I think the main thing is the unknown. You could have an infant that sleeps and nurses for 5 hours or you could have one that screams unless you walk around, bouncing and singing Lady Gaga at the top of your lungs for 5 hours!
I had a vaginal birth with no stitches but I was sore and of course lochia was still going on for about 4-6 weeks. The first two weeks were the worst, I couldn't sit comfortably for 5 minutes let alone hours. After that was better, recovery can be much longer for major tearing, episiotomy, csection, ect.
At 5 weeks I also probably had one or two chunks of 4 hour sleep, so I personally was dealing with sleep deprivation. A lot of moms are still at that point. That makes everything more stressful and adds a layer of unfun to everything!
I think with a 3 week old you also have the additional factor of that being a huge growth spurt. Babies are fussy and hungry, not to be set down for more than 5 seconds without protest. Your brain is also probably still soup from that huge change in hormones around that time.

That said, I've known moms to do some pretty crazy things very early on. I've known someone who worked on her masters thesis when the baby was 2 weeks old. Big trips for others. I'd get trip insurance, but if your an experienced traveler, you've got the patience, and sense of humor you guys can make it work!

[HeatherB]

I think it could be challenging, but could also be totally fine. I know after my last birth, I felt remarkably good after 2 weeks. I took it easy for the first week or so, and was very pleased with a pretty quick recovery (I had no major tearing, which was wonderful).

Because these people are so very close to you, I think it's worth the effort to go. I've traveled with a 3mo by myself, an 18mo by myself, and a 3yo and 9mo by myself. From my experience, I would recommend:

In the airport:
- using a big stroller to load carseats on top of
- wear the little one but be prepared that you'll likely need to remove him/her to go through security
- have toddler walk if possible, or wear or push a second stroller
- you *can* get bags/wheels/etc. for carseats, but it may require more hands/backs
- tell the gate attendants you need extra time to get on board (which they'll offer to anyone with small kids as long as they know you're there)
- gate check the stroller, and install the carseats for the kiddos (with two adults, not too tricky - but do look for tips on the seatbelt on the planes, as you'll want an extender to ensure it's easy to get off again)

On the plane:
- mama sits with baby, daddy sits with toddler (if you are on a really big plane this works even better - take the center section of a 747, for instance)
- keep the kids strapped in as much as possible for safety, but especially during take off, landing, and turbulence (which can be unexpected, hence keeping belts on whenever possible)
- bring toys/games/snacks for toddler as well as soothing items
- blankets to drape over seatbacks for dark is good if you need them to sleep
- you can also drape or safety pin blankets up for nursing privacy
- feed baby and change as needed - just change on the tray table for a little baby (especially if you're using cloth and don't even need a trashcan) - then put baby back for safety

Take it easy once you're there! But enjoy it! I mean, sitting on a beach nursing a newborn can't be half bad, can it?