Originally Posted by miche28
You know when I hear "can't", I don't expect that the person has exhausted every possibility in the universe. I hear, we considered it and there are big obstacles that we don't believe we can overcome.
I think this is true. And how many times have people who have fertility struggles been punched in the face with, "Well, what do you mean you can't have kids, you can *just* adopt some!" (or, "Well, if you would just relax...")
When people finally hit the wall and go through divorce, how many times do they hear, "What do you mean you can't stay married? Just suck it up!"
"What do you mean you can't seem to feel happy about your new baby? Snap out of that depression, it's all in your head Just take this pill/go to this therapist/take this vitamin/Be Grateful! Of course you CAN get better!"
I mean, there is educating, there is challenging people you suspect can deal with it, and then there is being a butt.
IMO....if you are going semantic on people who are vulnerable--butt, you are one. I also think that everyone's a butt some (or even most, for some of us like me) of the time.
And again, if we are speaking of Annoying Strangers here, there's no way in heck that you as the Stranger Yourself know all the ins and outs of the situation to know if can't or won't or OMFGFREAKEDOUTCAN'TDEAL!!! (or should that be WON'TDEAL) You can guess, and sometimes you might be right and many times you will be up to your cheek in foot-in-mouth syndrome. BTDT. I have topped cheek to go all the way to mobius loop, myself. Don't know about y'all.
Though being more than a bit of a butt myself, I consider Proactive Annoyances to be fair game for aiming my buttdom at, IYKWIM. No aspirations to saintdom here.