cio while holding or mildly comforting baby?

[preciousstone]

has anyone tried this?

[sahmmie]

I'm not sure exactly what you are asking but it sounds a little like the way I taught all of my babies to fall asleep alone in their cribs. I do not accept CIO as a humane way to treat an infant, BUT I don't think it is abusive or harmful to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own with some crying.

I always put my babies down in their cribs awake, but groggy. So I'd nurse them or rock them but once they were out I'd jostle them a little and kiss their little heads while laying them down so that they were awake enough to be aware that they were being placed into their cribs. If they began to cry I'd pat their bottoms or backs until they fell back to sleep. If they woke up crying later in the night I'd always go in after just a minute or two of crying and pat them back to sleep. I'd stay in their room patting them and saying softly, "mommy's here. night-night." I just would not pick them up. So, yes I let them cry some, but I was THERE with them. I did not leave them alone in a dark room crying for ungodly amounts of time. Some nights were awful with me getting up 10 - 20 times, but it was well worth it because all 3 of them learned to fall asleep alone in their beds and sleep all night long except for rare occasions when they were sick or teething. I also used white noise to help drown out noises that may awaken them and room darkening shades to keep the room sleep conducive.

[AmaraMonillas]

I haven't heard it called "cio" if you are there offering comfort. Babies do cry sometimes and I have watched some that would fuss while I was getting them to sleep, but just because they are crying before sleep doesn't mean I am letting them cry it out.

Am I misunderstanding you?

[preciousstone]

no that is exactly what i mean. I do rock and nurse and all that stuff before bed but ds is still fussy thru it. I also don't go all the way to stop the fussiness. Like instead of breaking out in a full body swing I just pat and shh him. So it doesn't stop the fussiness. Is that the same as CIO?

[cyclamen]

Sometimes, some babies need to fuss to get to sleep. For these babies, allowing them space to fuss and even cry is meeting their needs. It can be hard to "do nothing" while your baby cries, but sometimes doing things to "soothe" the baby is actually stimulating the baby and keeping her awake.

At least, I think this was the case with my daughter, who is 13 months. We shared a bed from birth until last week, when I started to realize that she was very overtired and needed a "nest" to sleep in because confinement was comforting to her and being able to crawl around our room was too stimulating. I was really afraid I would be hurting her by letting her cry in her crib while her father and I laid quietly beside her, but the difference has been amazing.

The first night she cried about as much as she frequently does, which is for 30-45 minutes, only this time we just sat quietly with her instead of trying to fix the crying. Before we started, we cheerfully explained to her what we were doing and how we were trying to help her. Then we were quiet, but with white noise. The next night it was around 10 minutes. The night after that, one tiny little grumpy noise, and then she snuggled down and closed her eyes. And since then it's been very easy to stick to her routine and get her to sleep when she is tired. The difference in her mood has been great, and the dark circles are finally gone from her eyes.

So I don't think this works for all babies, but some babies probably need it. If yours does, that's not really crying it out, its meeting his or her needs.

[One_Girl]

I don't think it is CIO if you are comforting them. CIO is completely leaving a baby to cry it out with no comfort of any kind. Sometimes the comfort you can offer is only words, songs, or patting on the back while rocking and that is okay because you are still there doing what you can. If CIO includes not getting up and going all out to stop the cry than all the exhausted moms and mothers with more than one child are actively practicing it now. I think you need to try not to put unrealistic pressure and guilt on yourself when you are doing the best you can.

[Alisse]

My son is really easy to comfort; if patting doesn't work then simply picking him up will stop any crying. So for us, to leave him in the bed while he's crying and trying to soothe him with something like patting -- when it's obvious he'd be comforted by picking him up -- would be doing CIO. But he's only 10months old now so maybe as he gets older our definition of CIO will change?

[rightkindofme]

CIO is leaving a child alone to cry by themselves. If you are there and offering comfort (even if you don't pick the child up) you aren't doing CIO.