Biting and hitting...Help

[h&m]

I am an AP mother to a 25 month old boy who has started biting and hitting me when he doesn't get what he wants. Mostly I have been able to keep my cool but am embarrassed to admit on bad days I yelled at him. Luckily it has been only me he's hit or bit but the other day he started hitting my friend's 4 yr. old girl. I was mortified, especially when it kept happening. He could have been over tired but not convinced that's the only reason.

Any suggestions?

[poppan]

What do you do when he hits or bites you (or another child)? For me, at that age I needed to physically remove myself from them immediately for the message to sink in. (Or physically remove them from the proximity of the other child.) I would say calmly at the same time that "we don't hit/bite because it hurts". If you are only talking and redirecting without the physical removal, I found that the message wasn't getting through that hitting/biting were not OK.

[mamazee]

First of all, don't think this is your fault. Aggression is very common for 2-year-olds. They aren't that great at airing their grievances verbally so they do what they think will work best.

I used to say to my dd, "It is not OK to bite me. No biting. Ouch!" Oh wait, she was more of a hitter than a biter (they aren't all aggresive in the same way) so it was more like, "It is not OK to hit me. No hitting." And then follow up with what she should do. "If you are angry, you call tell me you're angry, but you can't hit. No hitting." (Or "If you want X, you can tell me you want X." Whatever.) I'm not sure if I remember 100% how I worded it as it's been a long time. But I have another one approaching that age so it's quite possible I'll go through it again soon. Anyway, the issue is sometimes that they need to learn how to tell people they're upset in some less physical way. So in my case providing an alternative is what made the difference.