How do you afford to buy for baby when you have NO money to spare... - Page 3

[mommariffic]

Where in New York are you?

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by mommariffic

Where in New York are you?

Pelham. Lower Westchester.

[phathui5]

Next month, I expect, will be even harder (have to pay for sonogram appointment, have to buy my son back-to-school supplies).

I would skip the sonogram unless it's absolutely medically necessary.

The back to school supplies you have to have, but perhaps you could call local churches and ask for help getting them?

[Crazybean]

I was also thinking today about the PEPW that is offered through Medicaid- all pregnant women get "temporary" pregnany medicaid for up to 45 days (I think or it's 90). Either way, until you get a rejection letter, this type of medicaid pays for prenatal care including ultrasounds- if you meet the requirements you get medicaid for pg women. Instead of paying for your sono next month, get on medicaid one way or another and use that extra money for something else. Before you got pregnant you must have been coming up with money for food. Now that you are pregnant, you can get WIC which you said you are using. Use that extra money that you would have been using for food to put towards your needs.

[beansmama]

Is moving an option? I mean - can you move back home with your family? I know it would suck, and I hate to be a downer, but I can't wrap my head around how it is going to be possible for you to survive.

On top of diapers and baby gear - what about daycare? How are you going to pay for daycare while you're at work? If you only have 1/4 income left over after rent for food and necessities...how is that going to factor in?

I know you said your fam lives over 3 hours away, and that sucks, but you said you haven't made very many (or any?) friends since your divorce so what (besides the job) is holding you back?

[happysmileylady]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

[lilyka]

Some of this may have been said already...

First and foremost check with your local crisis pregnancy center. Both our CPP and and a local church do a mom closet. You do things to get points and then cash in those points for supplies. Stuff you get to earn points are make it to Dr. appointments, wic appointments, go to church, take your vits. The two groups let you double up so between the two of them you can easily get a nice stroller, carseat, diapers etc.

If you qualify for wic you probably qualify for childrens medicaid which covers pregnant women. Go to social services and talk to your social worker. or go to the WIC office. Also do you really need an ultrasound? didn't you just have one? i cannot think of many reasons why they would be absolutely necessary.

School supplies. check around. out local soup kitchen gives out backpacks full of supplies (our school make an effort to see what inexpensive supplies are available and request only those) and they have never had to turn anyone away. I know there have to be programs like this everywhere.

Start the process for child support now. have everything filled out etc so you can activate it right away.

I agree you need a stroller. sounds like a priority. And it sounds like you have a car seat for npw. YAY!!!! Our hospital rents cart seats for $20. If you are low income you can get them for free. Check with your hospital social worker.

You don't really need a high chair. you can use a car seat or stroller until you can scrape together enoguh money for a good high chair. also it will be garage sale season before your baby starts solids.

When winter comes around get hooked up with the Holiday Helper stuff here. They love showering expectant moms with stuff you need, especially gently used diapers, clothes and breast pumps. Watch for details starting in Oct....I think.

see if there are any support groups for low income moms (the afforementioned organizations that help with stuff also offer support groups and activities). Check with churches and what not about if they know of any support groups, moms groups etc that focus on low income moms. Once you get connected these experiance moms will be able to help hook up with free stuff. My friend was especially good about this. She knew when the $1 sales were at once upon a child (if you have one of these they are great. name brand clothes/coats everything for a dollar sometimes even in season), where the free clothing giveaways were, how to use your WIC pack to get all kinds of free stuff through parks and rec, what other stuff was available and who to talk to get in on it. I think the support you get from the friendship would also be valuble.

food. you have WIC. be sure you get everything even if you do not know how to cook it. you have internet access. look it up if you do not know how to use it. Check out food pantry stuff. look on facebook for community programs. There is a church here who gives away free food evry friday. random crap but whatever. one day it was milk. another potatoes. totally worth it. no paper work or proof of being poor required. i guess they figure if you are willing to come and get it you need it. I appreciate that. I am suprised what a great resource facebook is for these things. Don't forget with WIC you can use coupons for buy one get one or buy milk get free whatever. watch for coupons and if you are nto sure talk to a manager or your WIC person about how to use the coupons with wic.

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by beansmama

On top of diapers and baby gear - what about daycare? How are you going to pay for daycare while you're at work? If you only have 1/4 income left over after rent for food and necessities...how is that going to factor in?

They have daycare voucher programs. With my current situation, they will pay for most, if not all, the fees.

Originally Posted by beansmama

I know you said your fam lives over 3 hours away, and that sucks, but you said you haven't made very many (or any?) friends since your divorce so what (besides the job) is holding you back?

Besides a job, besides money, besides my family is very poor and nobody can afford to put me up until I get on my feet... two things- first is, I've been advised by a lawyer that, if I move back to MA, and my baby's father wants to fight for custody or visitation, it's very likely that I will be forced to move back to NY (or give up custody!), because he has no transportation besides public transportation. If I have to move back, I will literally be moving into a worse situation than I am now. At least now, I'm close to my small amount of family and friends that I still have here, and the building I'm in is the cheapest in my town, but does have certain perks- like the laundromat in the basement that costs half what a public laundromat would cost me elsewhere, and certain other things like that. All pros and cons, and even though my financial situation sucks, if I had to start new, back in this area, I would be in so much of a worse situation, and if I had to start new in an area not so close to this area (the baby's father lives in the Bronx), then I would not be close enough for the few people I still have for a support to be able to help me on a regular basis. Also, it took years for my son to finally get an IEP that works for him, but it's so detailed and in depth (he's in a really good school), that it would be so much more of a setback than I could possibly explain on here, to move him out of it. Those, and the other thing- I raised my stepdaughter from the time she was two until she was 9 1/2. She was the daughter I never had. I have been keeping in contact with her, in her life as much as possible. To move away would be to lose that.

Originally Posted by lilyka

Also do you really need an ultrasound? didn't you just have one? i cannot think of many reasons why they would be absolutely necessary.

The baby's father has heart issues and hydrocephelus runs in my family. I will be having an ultrasound each trimester, to keep an eye on any developing problems. The copay is $50, which sucks, but the main problem is the transportation- I can take a bus and transfer buses about four times, between here and the office (which, I'm embarrassed to say, I do not know how to ride buses, plan for all those transfers and still get there on time, and figure out how to get all the right buses to begin with), or I can take a taxi, which is about $40 each way. I'm hoping my father-in-law will be able to help me with transportation this time around, so I only have to worry about the copay.

Originally Posted by lilyka

When winter comes around get hooked up with the Holiday Helper stuff here. They love showering expectant moms with stuff you need, especially gently used diapers, clothes and breast pumps. Watch for details starting in Oct....I think.

:-)

[Crazybean]

Originally Posted by kblackstone444

The baby's father has heart issues and hydrocephelus runs in my family. I will be having an ultrasound each trimester, to keep an eye on any developing problems. The copay is $50, which sucks, but the main problem is the transportation- I can take a bus and transfer buses about four times, between here and the office (which, I'm embarrassed to say, I do not know how to ride buses, plan for all those transfers and still get there on time, and figure out how to get all the right buses to begin with), or I can take a taxi, which is about $40 each way. I'm hoping my father-in-law will be able to help me with transportation this time around, so I only have to worry about the copay.



:-)

There is NO co-pay if you are on medicaid. Go to the local health dept to have them help you get on it.
Medicaid also offers transporation to dr visits or a taxi service that is paid for... again get on medicaid...

[texmati]

Originally Posted by kblackstone444

The baby's father has heart issues and hydrocephelus runs in my family. I will be having an ultrasound each trimester, to keep an eye on any developing problems. The copay is $50, which sucks, but the main problem is the transportation- I can take a bus and transfer buses about four times, between here and the office (which, I'm embarrassed to say, I do not know how to ride buses, plan for all those transfers and still get there on time, and figure out how to get all the right buses to begin with), or I can take a taxi, which is about $40 each way. I'm hoping my father-in-law will be able to help me with transportation this time around, so I only have to worry about the copay.

I would try to get bus savvy-- taxi's are extremely expensive! I'm sure in a place like new york the public transport will be more flushed out.

It took me a looong time to figure out how the bus system worked when I lived in a city environment. but once you get the hang of it, it's easy peasy. In an urban environment, I'm sure they run pretty often. I'd try taking them to somewhere not time sensitive-- visit a friend or grocery shopping, on a weekday just to feel them out.

[lilyka]

you really have to figure out public transportation. you can not afford to stay ignorant. Do you have days off work? if so take some practice runs. figure it out.

[mamaofprincesses]

I'm on WIC, and they are currently providing more baby food than my almost-8-month-old eats. So, if saving money is your primary purpose for making your own baby food, I would probably just let WIC provide. You sound like you have enough on your plate as it is!

[PenelopeJune]

Definitely apply for medicaid. The income limits are higher for pregnant women. When I had it, I also had my own insurance through work, and medicaid picked up everything that my work's insurance didn't. It was SUCH a big help.

[surrogate]

If you get wic, you get pregnancy medicaid, the %s are the same! You might can even apply online.

Ill be honest, your situation sucks and I have no clue how you can raise a baby like that, however if you are willing to try to make it work I am sure you can.

good luck

[surrogate]

also, you should look into adjusting your withhloldings for your paycheck. If you normally get a refund at tax time, then change it to like 5 and let them take nothing out the rest of the year, you should break even.

Also, if your son is disabled have you applied for SSI? That could be a tiny bit of money

[swd12422]

Car seat: Check with your local fire department and the hospital for resources... Our hospital had a child safety event/fair a few months ago, and gave away 50 free car seats.

Baby food/equipment for making it: Breastfeed that little one til you just can't anymore! And go on milkshare if you need supplementation. My son was on formula (which WIC will take care of, if you go that route) and refused solids til he was 18 months old, so you have TONS of time to worry about paying for food for the baby. Don't spend a dime on any of that til you have the other stuff covered.

Someone else suggested Catholic Charities/Catholic Social Services. I highly recommend them. They have a housing program and job support program for expectant mothers in just your situation. Very helpful. They may also be able to lend you a car seat so you can get out of the hospital. (Our local office also has an infant adoption program, and they will lend you a car seat just to get the baby home. They also have good resources for finding inexpensive/freebies/loaners on other baby products.)

Grocery shopping: I agree with PPs to skip the stroller. It's a PITA on the bus/public transportation and worthless for carrying groceries. Go to thebabywearer.com or look in Yahoo groups for babywearing and see if anyone can donate a good carrier for you. Then you can get a granny cart for cheap/free ($15 new, I think) and use that for the groceries. Much easier to keep the baby (esp in wintertime) on your body the whole time you're shopping, at least til he/she can sit in the cart and give you a break while you're in the store. Plus, if you babywear, you just need to wrap your coat around the baby, no need for a separate infant snowsuit etc. Just throw a sweater and a hat on the LO and wrap him/her up next to you for warmth.

Also look around on Yahoo groups for baby-related topics. I got some used cloth diapers before my son was born from one of the moms on a cloth diapering group. When I opened the box, she'd thrown in a bunch of blankets, washcloths, bath towels and little extras with the diapers I bought from her. Lots of mamas will try to sell non-diaper stuff along with their dipes, and may be willing to send it to you for free if they can't unload it after awhile. It's worth stalking them.... Also, diaperswappers.com has FSOT where you might find people willing to give stuff away for free.

[BJewels79]

Originally Posted by surrogate

If you get wic, you get pregnancy medicaid, the %s are the same! You might can even apply online.

Just wanted to say that this is definitely true! And fast and easy. I printed my forms and mailed them in....got my cards within days! I also used the medicaid to cover what my private insurance wouldn't cover.

[lilyka]

you do not need a food processor. i never had one and never needed to buy a jar of babyfood. and my kids started solids around five months. but really if they cannot gum it or if you cannot mash it with a fork then they are probably not ready for it. Just feed them stuff you can mash up or that they can gum.

[Mama Soltera]

Originally Posted by phathui5

I would skip the sonogram unless it's absolutely medically necessary.

I also wanted to strongly agree with this.

I forgot to ask before, have you contacted your local department of child support services yet? If not, you need to get set up to open a case against the child's father asap.

I also wanted to echo the avoid-taxis-at-all-costs sentiment (pun intended).

[fullofgrace]

Originally Posted by Crazybean

I was also thinking today about the PEPW that is offered through Medicaid- all pregnant women get "temporary" pregnany medicaid for up to 45 days (I think or it's 90). Either way, until you get a rejection letter, this type of medicaid pays for prenatal care including ultrasounds- if you meet the requirements you get medicaid for pg women. Instead of paying for your sono next month, get on medicaid one way or another and use that extra money for something else. Before you got pregnant you must have been coming up with money for food. Now that you are pregnant, you can get WIC which you said you are using. Use that extra money that you would have been using for food to put towards your needs.

Originally Posted by lilyka

Some of this may have been said already...

First and foremost check with your local crisis pregnancy center. Both our CPP and and a local church do a mom closet. You do things to get points and then cash in those points for supplies. Stuff you get to earn points are make it to Dr. appointments, wic appointments, go to church, take your vits. The two groups let you double up so between the two of them you can easily get a nice stroller, carseat, diapers etc.

If you qualify for wic you probably qualify for childrens medicaid which covers pregnant women. Go to social services and talk to your social worker. or go to the WIC office. Also do you really need an ultrasound? didn't you just have one? i cannot think of many reasons why they would be absolutely necessary.

School supplies. check around. out local soup kitchen gives out backpacks full of supplies (our school make an effort to see what inexpensive supplies are available and request only those) and they have never had to turn anyone away. I know there have to be programs like this everywhere.

Start the process for child support now. have everything filled out etc so you can activate it right away.

I agree you need a stroller. sounds like a priority. And it sounds like you have a car seat for npw. YAY!!!! Our hospital rents cart seats for $20. If you are low income you can get them for free. Check with your hospital social worker.

You don't really need a high chair. you can use a car seat or stroller until you can scrape together enoguh money for a good high chair. also it will be garage sale season before your baby starts solids.

When winter comes around get hooked up with the Holiday Helper stuff here. They love showering expectant moms with stuff you need, especially gently used diapers, clothes and breast pumps. Watch for details starting in Oct....I think.

see if there are any support groups for low income moms (the afforementioned organizations that help with stuff also offer support groups and activities). Check with churches and what not about if they know of any support groups, moms groups etc that focus on low income moms. Once you get connected these experiance moms will be able to help hook up with free stuff. My friend was especially good about this. She knew when the $1 sales were at once upon a child (if you have one of these they are great. name brand clothes/coats everything for a dollar sometimes even in season), where the free clothing giveaways were, how to use your WIC pack to get all kinds of free stuff through parks and rec, what other stuff was available and who to talk to get in on it. I think the support you get from the friendship would also be valuble.

food. you have WIC. be sure you get everything even if you do not know how to cook it. you have internet access. look it up if you do not know how to use it. Check out food pantry stuff. look on facebook for community programs. There is a church here who gives away free food evry friday. random crap but whatever. one day it was milk. another potatoes. totally worth it. no paper work or proof of being poor required. i guess they figure if you are willing to come and get it you need it. I appreciate that. I am suprised what a great resource facebook is for these things. Don't forget with WIC you can use coupons for buy one get one or buy milk get free whatever. watch for coupons and if you are nto sure talk to a manager or your WIC person about how to use the coupons with wic.

Originally Posted by Crazybean

There is NO co-pay if you are on medicaid. Go to the local health dept to have them help you get on it.
Medicaid also offers transporation to dr visits or a taxi service that is paid for... again get on medicaid...

Originally Posted by lilyka

you really have to figure out public transportation. you can not afford to stay ignorant. Do you have days off work? if so take some practice runs. figure it out.

Originally Posted by Mama Soltera

I also wanted to strongly agree with this.

I forgot to ask before, have you contacted your local department of child support services yet? If not, you need to get set up to open a case against the child's father asap.

I also wanted to echo the avoid-taxis-at-all-costs sentiment (pun intended).

A thousand times over. Such great ideas! Start plugging away at these right. now. Do one at a time over and over and you'll be on your way.

Riding the bus and figuring routes can be scary, but it's do-able! I promise. Practice, practice, practice and practice some more. I'm very shy and nervous in new places, but I've recently learned how to navigate trains, subways and more! You can do it.


A Modly FYI word about Holiday Helpers --- Be aware that there is a limit as to how many applications can or will be accepted, and that there are very specific guidelines in order to both apply to HH and to be approved for placement on the 'Family In Need' list. There are no guarantees. So you really need to pretend as if HH does not exist to give you that extra push to get moving on all of these awesome suggestions from our kind mamas! Again: You can do it.