How do you afford to buy for baby when you have NO money to spare... - Page 4

[SomethingAnonymous]

I agree that when you can't afford a lot of those babies things.. you just learn to live without them. Most of those things are really not necessary.

Sonogram- I would skip it, even with the family history

Crib and mattress you have - sell it and cosleep instead

crib sheets - don't need them if you cosleep

food processor - definitely not needed. just feed the baby bites of your food when they are old enough

For some of the things you need:

-diapers (I use receiving blankets as flats. I somehow ended up with like 10 from the hospital, or you can buy them for often less than a dollar secondhand. Then you just need some cheap covers, like LiteWraps $8 each and some pins)

You could probably get away with diapering your baby with this system, from birth to potty training for under $100 - and you wouldn't need to buy all that at once.

-scraps of fabric to make into washcloths for wipes (just run/stitch a seam around the edge of square scraps)


I also agree that you CAN do this!

[Logan]

I totally agree with PP that most of those things are not 'essentials' at all. In fact we never had most of those things, by choice. I think you need to look at the bigger picture. I know how it sucks to want to get everything prepared before the baby comes and have that nesting instinct telling you that you're not ready until you do. But sometimes its just not possible to get all the things you want before, or even after.

I also think you need to move somewhere else. It doesnt have to be with family. You cant afford to live where you are living now. That is the bottom line. You need to think about what kind of childhood your kids will have if you stay there living beyond your means. The NY lifestyle is not worth your kids happiness.

[lolar2]

I think the pp who suggested moving in with family is probably from a region where driving three hours does not take you to another state.

[confustication]

Originally Posted by lolar2

I think the pp who suggested moving in with family is probably from a region where driving three hours does not take you to another state.

It's a completely different mindset on the east coast as opposed to out west- three hours was a couple states when I lived in New England- here it is a routine shopping trip to the nearest large town.

That said, I think it is worth- even with all the complexities and challenges- looking at the possibility that relocating would be worth a serious consideration. Even staying in the same state- look up north- housing is MUCH less expensive- a 3 br house can be had for less than 700- easily.

[Usually Curious]

Considering her son's special needs and custody issues, she probably just needs to check into house-sharing to help w/costs.

Would it be possible to move into a two bedroom with your friend in the same building when your lease is up?

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by Usually Curious

Considering her son's special needs and custody issues, she probably just needs to check into house-sharing to help w/costs.

Would it be possible to move into a two bedroom with your friend in the same building when your lease is up?

That's a possibility I'm looking into, if we can get one of the three bedroom apartments in our building (one for me and the baby, one for my son, and one for her and her daughter), which we could afford together. (Also, I don't know how Section 8 works, but she's already on it and both our incomes combined would still put us under the Section 8 bracket for 5 people, if she can just add me, my son and the baby to her Section 8.) There is one dealbreaker, though- she smokes and my son and I are asthmatic and both allergic to cigarette smoke (and I wouldn't want my baby living with a smoker). If she can quit, which she's working on, we're definitely looking into it. Money would still be tight, but so much more manageable- wouldn't have to worry about food on the table anymore.

[phathui5]

There is one dealbreaker, though- she smokes and my son and I are asthmatic and both allergic to cigarette smoke (and I wouldn't want my baby living with a smoker).

Yeah, I don't think I would compromise on that if there were any other option available.

[Usually Curious]

I hope she can quit for lots of reasons!

[happyhats]

Not ideal but could your friend limit her smoking to outside or only in her room?

[bluebirdiemama]

Wish you all the best... You sound like an amazing mama!

Don't have any new ideas... since you have the internet though, I would post everywhere, craislist, here on the trading post, diaperswappers.com, anywhere else you can think of. Tell a little of your situation and list the things you need.
I would do this with churches too... find as many churches as are around, and email them. Tell them how urgently you need these items, and food, and if anyone there would like to help you.
You might not get a response from every church you contact, but if you find one like mine... they will take care of you! seriously.
And I agree with a pp-er, there are tons of people who won't mind driving to where you are.

You can totally do this... you really sound smart, loving and wonderful

[GoGoGirl]

You sound like such a smart, resourceful mama to be figuring all this out ahead of time.

Are you on any local parenting group email lists? I know you're in Westchester, but what about the Attachment Parenting of NYC yahoo group? If you explain your situation, I bet you'd get a lot of offers of baby stuff.

I know you said that you can't do cloth diapers because of your laundry situation. Have you thought about hand washing, though? When DD was an older baby (maybe a few months old, so not pooping in every diaper anymore) I used flats and handwashed them in the tub at night. Even if you just work a half dozen cloth diapers into your daily rotation, it will save you money. I liked these sites for figuring out how to make a free cloth diaper stash.

[fullofgrace]

Hiya!

I need to do my modly job real quick and remind everyone to please review the Frugality & Finance Guidelines.

Thanks!

[fullofgrace]

.
.
OP -- How are your phone calls to churches, hospitals and other agencies that are set up for these types of situations going?


There were some great ones I agreed with before, but I see more I have to say to --

I forgot to ask before, have you contacted your local department of child support services yet? If not, you need to get set up to open a case against the child's father asap.

Originally Posted by BJewels79

Just wanted to say that this is definitely true! And fast and easy. I printed my forms and mailed them in....got my cards within days! I also used the medicaid to cover what my private insurance wouldn't cover.

Oh that's great that they make make medicaid applications much easier now.

Also, if your son is disabled have you applied for SSI? That could be a tiny bit of money

Another great idea!

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by kblackstone444

That's a possibility I'm looking into, if we can get one of the three bedroom apartments in our building (one for me and the baby, one for my son, and one for her and her daughter), which we could afford together. (Also, I don't know how Section 8 works, but she's already on it and both our incomes combined would still put us under the Section 8 bracket for 5 people, if she can just add me, my son and the baby to her Section 8.) There is one dealbreaker, though- she smokes and my son and I are asthmatic and both allergic to cigarette smoke (and I wouldn't want my baby living with a smoker). If she can quit, which she's working on, we're definitely looking into it. Money would still be tight, but so much more manageable- wouldn't have to worry about food on the table anymore.

Everyone I have ever known on Section 8 absolutely could NOT add on roomates. I would check this out more closely!

[indiefolklore]

A lot of great ideas here, i think for the most part everything has been covered. I just wanted to add a few more resources that could perhaps help you.

United Way is usually reachable by dialing 211 on your phone, it's a free service for the community to access services such as food banks, utility assistance, housing, child care, etc, in your area.. If 211 doesn't work plug your zip into the site.

The Nurturing Network is an international charitable organization that responds to the immediate and comprehensive needs of a woman facing the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy.

New York:
Baby Buggy. non-profit organization, dedicated to collecting and redistributing infant gear and clothing to families in need.

Dutchess Outreach. Offers several programs including food pantry and soup kitchen that are open to all regardless of income. Also emergency grants and referrals for medical bills, rent and utilities.

[Mama Soltera]

There are other low income housing programs in certain areas. You should definitely look into that, especially considering section 8 seems to take years (or never happens). Also, the fact that your son technically has a dissability would make your family get priority on those waitlists. Just a thought.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I was able to get a breast pump through medicaid. My midwife wrote me a prescription for it, and the home health place that I bought it from billed medicaid.

[swd12422]

I just heard on the radio that National Night Out is August 3, and our local one will have the fire department out there, giving away free car seats. You might want to check your local news/radio station to see if there's an even close enough to you to go, so you can at least pick up a free car seat and there will be other things your son might enjoy too.