My daughter is sobbing in the bedroom right now - Update #14

[ps4624]

Her dad is with her, but I refuse to go in there. She has been biting me - deliberately, intentionally biting me while nursing - for 3 days now. She's 17 months old and we've already been through the "Oh look, I have a tooth!" kind of biting, which I didn't love but was able to handle.

This is different - she will stop nursing, bite me as hard as she can and then pull my nipple while still clamped down. It's excruciating, but worse than that, it enrages me. I've tried making sad faces, walking away, explaining that we don't bite - nothing is stopping her. I'm pretty sure she's teething, but if this doesn't stop, I will have to wean her. I'm scared when I'm nursing her that I'm about to be bitten, my nipples are killing me, and quite honestly, I'm really angry with her.

Can someone please give me some advice?

[Biscuits & Gravy]

Oh mama, that is so hard. My 19 month old is teething right now and my nipples are a wreck. He hasn't done it intentionally, but he is certainly taking it out on me. I've had to unlatch him, set him down, and ask him to not bite me. That of course has not gone over well, but it HURTS when he is twisting around, whipping his head back to see something and taking my nipple with him when it is already in pain.

I don't have any ideas for you right now but I wanted to send you hugs and tell you it will be okay.

[MovingMomma]

Have you tried treating her teething pain?

[ps4624]

Yes, I've given her teething drops, brushed her gums and given her cold things to suck on. DH has witnessed the biting and does not think it's teething - he thinks it's fun for her. I don't know - I think it's a combination of both.

I'm sorry my original post was so strongly worded - I'm just at a loss for what to do. I want to be gentle as possible, but my first reaction when bitten is just anger. I don't know what to do.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I know it isnt going to be a popular thing here but when both my kids went through the "biting is fun stage" I immediately yelled out ouch that hurts, you never bite mommy!! and then put them down and walked away. It was a very loud yell and it made them cry but dang there is no way I could keep nursing a child that bit me. It hurts so bad it is indescribable.

It is OK to feel anger when you are hurt we are human and that is our first instinct.

[~Demeter~]

Could you be pregnant?? Early pregnancy hormone changes can cause the milk to change and little ones to bite or become frustrated at the breast. Just food for thought.

[ps4624]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~

Could you be pregnant?? Early pregnancy hormone changes can cause the milk to change and little ones to bite or become frustrated at the breast. Just food for thought.

That would be a Christmas miracle in July. Definitely not pregnant

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I know it isnt going to be a popular thing here but when both my kids went through the "biting is fun stage" I immediately yelled out ouch that hurts, you never bite mommy!! and then put them down and walked away. It was a very loud yell and it made them cry but dang there is no way I could keep nursing a child that bit me. It hurts so bad it is indescribable.

It is OK to feel anger when you are hurt we are human and that is our first instinct.

This is exactly what I did with DS. I too felt immediate anger when he was biting at that stage. I knew that he knew on some level that he shouldn't be biting, and I became so furious when he would do it, I started letting it all out and yelling pretty loudly. I wasn't yelling *at* him, but I would definitely let out a VERY loud yelp and then say VERY sternly "YOU MAY NOT BITE ME" and put him down crying. I would have to walk away at that point and tend to my injured nipple as he cried and came toddling over to me. It was horrible. I honestly thought I would have to wean him.

One thing that did help a tiny bit that was suggested to me was having a hard teething toy in hand when he was nursing and if he bit me, I would hand it to him and say "You may not bite me, but you can bite this". Maybe have her hold it while she nurses and remind her that if she needs to bite down, she can unlatch to bite the toy?

I am so sorry you are going through this mama, I don't envy you, but I have soooooooo been there. BTW, my son is now 3 and 4 months and is still nursing like a champ.

[EzzysMom]

I too end up with the screaming in pain method and putting the kid down and leaving. Now that she's older she understands the consequences too (no nursing till mommy feels better) but I'm not sure how well that would sink in at your DD's age. I get really angry too. Perhaps if you can notice somewhat as it's happening you can pull her towards you to temporarily suffocate her in your boob so she'll have to open? or maybe it's too fast to let that happen. I'd keep all nursing sessions short so that she's left wanting more if her timing is at all predictable. Again, I'd be real angry too and absolutely have to be away from her. It's a real violation of trust.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I also wanted to add that I ended up nursing with my finger at the corner of his mouth and as soon as he would start to clamp down, I would shove my finger in, so his lip was actually being pinched between my finger and his teeth. Then as he bit down, he was biting onto his own lip, as well as my nipple. He opened very quickly, as it started to get uncomfortable for him. Again, probaby not highly looked upon way of dealing with it, but he would open his mouth immediately, which would help a bit.

[ElliesMomma]

one thing to know is that if they are biting, they are not into nursing (in that moment). removing them immediately is best. "no biting."

later, when they are well and truly hungry/wanting to really nurse, i'd give it to them, with the warning beforehand, "no biting."

when/if she starts to pull off with her teeth on you, try smashing her face into your breast so she can't breathe (for a quick moment only of course) to get her to release you unharmed. "no biting."

you can even explain to her that there will be no more nursing if she bites anymore, to let her know that you are serious.

good luck. it will get better!!

[Ldavis24]

I so get the anger feeling. Honestly nothing DD does enrages me more than when she gives a major bite to my nipple. I want to punch something (not her just anything)...

I read 2 amazing things that have kept the biting down to maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks even during 3 teeth coming in at once.
1. If they are biting they are not nursing because when they are actually sucking the teeth aren't in a position to bite.
2. Often the more you react the more interesting it is and they want to try it again.

So now the minute I feel a nibble by DD I just pull her off and end the nursing session. I try really hard not to yell or even react AT ALL if she bites (much much easier said than done) and just act like she didn't do anything at all. So far this method has worked extremely well.

I don't know if it would work for you because your DD maybe thinks it is a game or is looking for a reaction, but if you could hold yourself back and pretend nothing happened maybe she wouldn't be interested in doing it?

[Super~Single~Mama]

I have this book that is great for my LO - he loves it, and it gives me something to say when he bites. Its called "Teeth are not for biting" and he really gets it now.

Also, I'm a single mom, so I can't hand my ds off to anyone when he does that kind of thing, but I would just put him in his pack n play and walk away. He would yell and scream and all, but I don't nurse when I'm getting bitten. And he was old enough to learn that mommy is not a teething toy.

Also, I know some people don't like using tylenol/motrin but if the other teething pain relievers aren't working I would try tylenol or motrin. The 1yo molars are killer, and my ds hated teething toys when they were coming in.

[ps4624]

Thanks for all of your replies. I wrote the original post while in a very fragile state - I was really having a hard time that night. Two good things have come of it:

1. She hasn't bitten me again. I think it was really shocking to her to find out that mama does have limits and can get very upset. She basically cried herself to sleep that night (with DH there) and that was the first time she's ever gone to sleep without me. I think it made an impression.

2. It really helped me reconsider some of our nursing habits. I haven't offered to nurse here since then - it's all been initiated by her. I've also been talking to her more about what makes me uncomfortable - asking her to release my nipple if she's holding it between her teeth and reminding her to be gentle. She's been responding really well.

Basically, I feel a ton better and I think we're back on track. Thanks for all of your responses (and to the local LLL goddess who talked me down off the ledge) - it really helps to have support.