Ever feel judged about being thifty? - Page 2

[caiesmommy]

I get it ALL THE TIME! Seriously! I hate it.

A few weeks ago, I was grocery shopping and dh and ds went another way and I was holding dd at the cheap produce rack. Talking to her asking if she would like mama to make banana muffins this week. When an older lady looked at me sadly, and offered to help me buy groceries I was so shocked and embarrassed I grabbed my 50% off bananas and ran and found dh..who said YOU SHOULD HAVE LET HER!

Even my mother in law thinks Im crazy b/c I ask her for her orange peels for zest when she thinks I should just buy orange flavoring But she was impressed about the outfit i got for a bday party today..pants reg 29.99 for 5 bucks shirt reg 10 for 2.30. A total outfit for 7.50

[Belia]

I just started couponing about 6 months ago, and I am so proud of my thriftiness that I am probably rude and tacky the other way!!! I'm always telling my family, "Hey want to know what Walgreens paid me to take home today?" or "Guess how much I paid for that outfit!"

Own it, mama! You're doing great!

[canadianhippie]

lol about your husband caiesmommy, you should have let her haha Thats pretty sad though that people feel that way, I always check the reduced racks first! For produce, bread, baked treats, anything.

I think your right justmama, I think because I wasnt raised in a frugal family its somewhat looked down upon, so its kind of instilled in my mind. Its true that most mamas are out and about on their own without husbands so its a norm to see.

I cant believe people wont use coupons! lol oh thats so silly

I used to go to nutrition classes for pregnant moms 16-21 and they would give you a $10-$20 food voucher for veggies, dairy, etc. (I loved the class, they had guest speakers about labour and breastfeeding, all kinds of things) Anyways, I went to use it when I went shopping with my dad and he refused to use it, or let me use it. He said he does business in this town and it doesnt need to look like we're on welfare. It was just a voucher, my goodness.

Its true about karma, I throughly enjoy donating items as well, Id say I half sell and half donate. I have gone to pregnancy centre for teen moms to get maternity clothes baby items, etc. I did feel bad, I didnt know if I quite belonged there, but my dad dropped off all the clothes I borrowed as well as extra's I picked up and baby items. It felt good to be able to give back, I was once on the receiving end of it. I do believe that everyone in the frugal community is helping each other out.

I think my attitude needs to be suck it up! I should feel bad for those who are paying full price and for company mark-ups, I would never be able to have as much as I do If I didnt buy thifty.

[butterfly1976]

I love being thrifty! I feel no shame. I'm sure some people look down, but I don't care. My shoes (reebok & Nike) I always buy at thrift shops. I paid $3.00 for a pair of those and they lasted about 5 years. I will superglue if they start falling apart. I buy mine and the kids' clothes from thrift stores too.

I never clip coupons. I always buy generics.
I agree with the other mom, where a lot of this stuff is the norm now. I will drive a vehicle until it almost falls apart. I pay cash, cause I hate debt. I got ragged on recently cause of the car and shoe thing. My sandals were about to fall apart and I couldn't find a new pair. My boyfriend threatened to burn them! I told him he better not. Lol

About looking like a poor, single mom....I haven't been married in 10 years. I recently got a boyfriend within the last year. I never felt ashamed in being a single mom. I had a lot of pride in being the sole caretaker of my kids. (smiles)

[sdia]

oh, you mean you're cheap? me too. but not cheap enuf, according to my partner....

[EmsMom]

I have been thrifty for so long I don't really ever think about it, except to be extremely grateful that I have no debt, have money in the bank and am not chained to a job that I despise. I felt a bit as you do when I started, though. I used to go to a church that was a mission church for a very poor community. A lovely man from a local synagogue used to bring in free food to distribute. No one would ever take it except maybe to "feed their pigs". But can I tell you that the free food was often day old organic Trader Joe's sprouted grain breads???? My favorite bread at a time when I was making my own bread to save a few bucks a month. So I would take it because otherwise it went in the trash (if there were no pig people there that day). I like to think I set a good example about not being ashamed to not be wasteful.

One time I was at the Salvation Army doing my shopping thing, and an acquaintance came in her son. I greeted her warmly and was rambling on about how much fun it was to shop there because you never know what bargain you are going to find, etc..... (I am very chatty!). Suddenly I noticed that she was looking very uncomfortable and trying to get away and it wasn't until later I realized that she felt embarrassed, whether for herself or for me was not clear. Uh, but I was experiencing a distinct feeling of abundance because there were some really nice stuff in that store and if would not only save me money but also a dreaded trip to a "real" store, and she was coming from a place of lack.

Same activity, totally different perspectives. I laugh inside when people "feel sorry for me" and I am laughing all the way to the bank. While they are frittering away their wealth, I am building a future for myself and my descendents, supporting local businesses and charities, keeping useable products out of the landfill and having enough extra money every month to donate to others. All on an income just barely above food stamp levels.

So, to the OP, try to find a place of pride in your heart knowing that what you are doing is a good thing! And a big, disarming grin and a joke can silence alot of would be critics or judgers....

[mattemma04]

I love being thifty and getting more for less. I think dh's brother and wife might look down on us,because we have given used cloths for their girls.I doubt they used them.These are people who had dh get them a mans armani watch for $300 and a ladies gucci sunglass(non script!) for $175. The glasses got here late,so I just spent another $30 to mail it to them. Dh had a friend ask him to get some sort of tennis racket string that cost $265 a roll. I about died on that one too.So the guy is a cardiac surgeon,but still $265 string for his 14yo non-pro son????

I hope everyone pays for these expensive things as we are a one income family.

Lol at the way some people spend.

[crunchy_mama]

I am proud to be frugal as well, although I don't try to be cheap. I was just at Goodwill yesterday and they are all so nice to me. The kids call it the toy store because often I will let them get a cheap toy there. All my family and friends are thrifters as well however dh's family is a bit more snobby in that regard. I am also the type to brag about this or that bought used for cheap. Have confidence and don't worry about it. I am married and as a pp said me and my friends pretty much always shop by ourselves when our husbands are working. I wouldn't assume that anyone was a single mother because of that.

[Ruthiegirl]

I feel like I get judged from all sides!

My friends are all tremendously thrifty and they scold me for buying anything new. We are moving near the arctic circle where it will be very cold, so I bought the kids new down coats. My thrifty friends reminded me that I could have found used coats for much less money. And I could have been recycling clothing rather than adding to global material waste, and I could have avoided the packaging required to ship said coats to my house.


My mom is physically pained that I buy anything second hand and refused to eat off my plates when I told her they came from Goodwill (she asked and now I know to never, ever talk about where I get things).


So, I think I like the idea of living in my own little world, doing my own little thing and totally ignoring most people.

[Danielle283]

I volunteer at a Thrift Store and we would never look down on the people shopping there. We get really excited to see so many people saving money! We all shop there ourselves too!

[p.s]

LOL, those other women are in the store too, right? so i really doubt they're judging you b/c they're in there shopping too.

more likely they're trying to figure out what you just found or got in hand, and what kind of bargain they just missed.

[Poddi]

I don't do much thrift shopping any more, there's no good ones near us. I certainly never feel judged. We're still using assorted mis-matched thrift store dishes today, even to entertain guests. (I have a thing for mis-matched stuff. I love things that are not a complete set and don't match others.)

I'm very bad at picking up subtle clues from other people, though. So maybe there have been tons of people looking at me funny or judging me and I never noticed. Oh well if I didn't see then it didn't matter.