Finding the right dog for a family/children

[Rosehip]

I think we may be getting a dog sometime in the next year or so. I have a 5 & 3 yo, am single and we live with my parents. I have had dogs most of my life, so am very well aware of the commitment, what it means to have a dog, etc.

My biggest hesitation is that I had the heart breaking experience of having to put my last dog down. She was a rescue dog, from the shelter, likely a Viszla mix. She was a fabulous dog for adults. I got her shortly after I graduated college. She was the smartest, best trained, most loyal dog I ever had. But once my DD started walking, her intolerance for small children came to light. Long story short, she snapped my daughter twice. I consulted trainers and vets, tried to rehome her, etc., to no avail. It was a heartbreaking decision, but I had to put my child's safety first.

Fast forward to now...how do I go about finding a dog who is great with kids. I'm thinking that a dog who has been fostered might give me a bit more background information. I have a very strong preference for a rescue dog. And adult dog would be fine, and insofar as size, I would be aiming for something medium.

I welcome any suggestions! I'm very gun shy about choosing a dog who is not good with my kids.

[BCFD]

The absolute BEST dog in the world with children are Boxers!!!!!!!!!

ETA: We got our Boxer from http://www.NCBR.org

[SubliminalDarkness]

We had a very similar experience. Had to put our first dog down in March. So, SO hard. And my DH was really surprised by how hard it was on him.

We've decided that we will likely never adopt another adult dog, no matter what. We also have another dog that we got as a puppy, and my hopes are very high that we will never have aggression issues with him simply because he's grown up with our kids and knows the boundaries. I know his history. I can control his training.

[Narmowen]

Shelties. Wonderful family pets, extremely smart & human interactive. I could NOT imagine my life without my Shelties.

ETA: I really think that if they were around a dirty diaper, they'd change it if they had disposable thumbs. Sally would run from my neice to my mother (who was babysitting her & Sally) if my neice was crying (or making any sound at all-even happy sounds) to herd my mother back to Chloe!

[Oubliette8]

I don't really see an advantage in an adult or a puppy. Unless you're VERY serious about dogs, most people take a risk with either one. A puppy from a bad source, or that is naturally dominant or submissive can be a worse choice than an adult dog.

I would recommend choosing a foster-based rescue. They should know which dogs are good with kids and which are not. Have you visited petfinder.com? Its a great way to find a variety of rescue groups and available dogs near you. With a rescue group, they've seen the dogs in a home environment and lived with them for awhile and so you are taking less of a gamble than with a shelter. Rescues get in both puppies and adult dogs, purebreds and mutts, so you should be fine no matter what you decide to get.

As far as breeds, get a breed book and do some reading on various breeds. Decide on one, or several that would work well for YOUR family. Everyone thinks their breed of dog is great, but matching a breed to YOUR familys specifics is important. There are dog breeds that I really like, but I know that certain aspects of their energy levels, trainability, or personalities just don't mesh with my lifestyle. Just because a dog is great for one family doesn't mean it is great for yours. Once you have an idea of what sort of breed or type you like you'll be able to narrow your search a little. Keep the breed book though- if you fall in love with a cute mix puppy, it would be wise to go back and consult the book about the breeds they think went into it. It can prepare you for what might happen- if the contributing breeds are thought to be extra large for instance, you can expect a large grown dog, and that could factor into your decision. Or if both parents are thought to be herding breeds, you'll know to think about whether behaviors common to herding breeds are something you are prepared to deal with.

[SquishyKitty]

I think adult dogs are great to adopt, it just takes longer to find one that is a good fit.

I'd go with a rescue that does temperment testing to ensure that the dog is okay with small kids, and preferrably one that is fostered with a family that has kids already.

You had the dog prior to having your child, so there was no way to foresee the issues. But, if you get a dog now with the child in mind, there's no saying you won't find a great dog who loves kids.

I'd recommend a lab, they are awesome amazing dogs. I'd say rottie, but I hesitate to recommend them because they have a pretty bad reputation. We love our marshmallow rottie, though. The only way she'd hurt somebody is via stepping on their toes. She does like to herd kids, though.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by SquishyKitty

I think adult dogs are great to adopt, it just takes longer to find one that is a good fit.

I'd go with a rescue that does temperment testing to ensure that the dog is okay with small kids, and preferrably one that is fostered with a family that has kids already.

You had the dog prior to having your child, so there was no way to foresee the issues. But, if you get a dog now with the child in mind, there's no saying you won't find a great dog who loves kids.

I'd recommend a lab, they are awesome amazing dogs. I'd say rottie, but I hesitate to recommend them because they have a pretty bad reputation. We love our marshmallow rottie, though. The only way she'd hurt somebody is via stepping on their toes. She does like to herd kids, though.

How do I find rescues that do temperment testing? When I look at petfinder, it seems like there are 100's of dogs listed from shelters. Is there a way to sort? I live in a big metro area, so there are tons of dogs around here, but I think knowing the personality is a priority.

My only hesitance about a big dog (like a rottie - I LOVE them) is that we often have other families with children over, and I think a large dog would be intimidating to those of them who don't have dogs.

[FaithfulOne]

BOXER for sure!!!

We just rescued Roger back in January from WithoutBordersBoxerRescue. He flew to BC all the way from LA for us
The great thing about finding a reputable rescue is that they screen families and potential dogs before placement. We had a volunteer here with her Boxer to see how our kids were and she then flew to LA to sort through dogs for us that fit our needs best. This helps ensure a good fit

ETA: to find a good rescue, message the one I mentioned and see if they can rec' in your area. Ideally a good agency should:
-send vounteers to meet your family, preferably with a dog for observing the kids with
-have extensive application process
-allow you to contact past adopters
-no up front fees
-continual contact after rescue

[Rosehip]

Ok, well. I'm now starting to get a bit Boxer obsessed. I've been browsing rescue sites, including this one http://adoptaboxerrescue.com/availdo...lable_dogs.htm which looks reputable.

Anywho - I'm definitely going to consider them. I'm also thinking of German Shepherds (I've had two) or a Lab, or mixes of those dogs.

Right now, there are a couple of financial things I'd like to take care of before taking on the financial responsibility of a dog. My kids being another 6 months or a year older would be a good thing too. So maybe sometime over the winter or next spring...

I think that an adult dog that had been fostered, so I could get a really honest assessment of its personality is probably what I'll aim for.

Any more suggestions - of breeds, rescues, etc., are welcome!

[Alyantavid]

I think it depends more on the personality of the individual than the breed.

We have a huge Chesapeake and he's absolutely the best dog I could have asked for to be around my kids. He's amazing with them. But he is big, which tends to scare people who aren't used to him even though he's a big baby. But it's also a breed that isn't for everyone.

I'd probably visit shelters or friends with dogs and see what kinds of things you like about particular breeds.

[buttercup784ever]

Are you planning on staying with your parents long term? I only ask because if you plan on renting at some point a lot of places won't take a dog as big as a boxer, and if they do they'll want a big pet deposit.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by buttercup784ever

Are you planning on staying with your parents long term? I only ask because if you plan on renting at some point a lot of places won't take a dog as big as a boxer, and if they do they'll want a big pet deposit.

I will be staying with them for the foreseeable future, and then likely moving into a home I own. I've definitely considered the weight limits when thinking about this. Around here, even the owner apartment buildings have pet limits. If they accept dogs, a common limit is 50 lbs. So that is a factor. Thank you for the reminder!

[SquishyKitty]

I find that people are generally very intimidated by big dogs, regardless of the temperment.

I would hesitate to get any of the larger, strong-willed breeds unless you are going to put A LOT of time and training into the dog. (This is where getting an adult dog would also be helpful....if they've outgrown the puppy they might not be as high-energy). We got our two big girls at 9 months old, so they were housebroken, but they hadn't had much training. Since they are young, they are still very high energy and require a lot of exercise to not be destructive or jerky. We get up at O'dark early and walk them every morning, for at least a mile, and then do the same thing after dinner. While we enjoy it, I am not a morning person so there is about 15 minutes of resentment when I have to get out of bed.

I also wouldn't rule out mutts or mixed breed dogs from a shelter or rescue, but I would caution against GSD if you have small kids. They seem to swing either towards being awesome family dogs or really high strung and unable to cope with small kids around. They are also working dogs, so unless you have a way to keep them very busy mentally and physically, they can get obnoxious and destructive.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by SquishyKitty

I also wouldn't rule out mutts or mixed breed dogs from a shelter or rescue, but I would caution against GSD if you have small kids. They seem to swing either towards being awesome family dogs or really high strung and unable to cope with small kids around. They are also working dogs, so unless you have a way to keep them very busy mentally and physically, they can get obnoxious and destructive.

I love mutts! My only hesitation with getting a dog straight from the shelter is that it's harder to get a really good read on its personality. I feel that if a dog has been fostered, especially through a reputable rescue, I'd have a better shot on getting a good picture on how the dog is when living in a home environment it has settled into. So I've been thinking of specific breeds because most of the rescues are breed-focused. But mutts are absolutely fine too!

We've been lucky with GSDs - too fabulous dogs, including the dog my parents had when I was a baby. He would play tug-o-war with his toys with me and let me win But, I will probably end up staying away from the bigger, more intimidating dogs because of playdates, family friends who aren't dog people etc. I really like to be able to have people over.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Originally Posted by Rosehip

We've been lucky with GSDs - too fabulous dogs, including the dog my parents had when I was a baby. He would play tug-o-war with his toys with me and let me win But, I will probably end up staying away from the bigger, more intimidating dogs because of playdates, family friends who aren't dog people etc. I really like to be able to have people over.

Certainly choose whatever dog you want, but.... We have a large dog, a mastiff/St. Bernard mix who's about 120lbs and still a puppy. We haven't had problems with guests because, if the guest is truly uncomfortable, we just put the dog in the crate while they're there. Our dog is crate trained and doesn't mind being in there at all, so it's a win-win for everyone. We're big dog people, though, so for us it's worth it to be able to have a dog that suits us.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness

Certainly choose whatever dog you want, but.... We have a large dog, a mastiff/St. Bernard mix who's about 120lbs and still a puppy. We haven't had problems with guests because, if the guest is truly uncomfortable, we just put the dog in the crate while they're there. Our dog is crate trained and doesn't mind being in there at all, so it's a win-win for everyone. We're big dog people, though, so for us it's worth it to be able to have a dog that suits us.

Good suggestion. Most of the dogs I've had didn't use their crates much, so this didn't occur to me. I'd say I'm more a medium dog kind of person. My favorite dog, in terms of size, would have been the size of a very small, slim Lab - weighed about 45 lbs. But I've had everything from a 16 lb Sheltie to a large GSD.

[sunny*pa*mom]

Originally Posted by Rosehip

I love mutts! My only hesitation with getting a dog straight from the shelter is that it's harder to get a really good read on its personality. I feel that if a dog has been fostered, especially through a reputable rescue, I'd have a better shot on getting a good picture on how the dog is when living in a home environment it has settled into. So I've been thinking of specific breeds because most of the rescues are breed-focused. But mutts are absolutely fine too!

We got our mutt through a no-kill shelter that uses foster homes for some of their animals, so you may have a similar shelter in your area. The foster mom told us he was good with dogs and cats, a bit of an attention hog and didn't bother her free-range chickens. We had a different breed in mind when we first started looking for a new pet but we fell in love with our little mutt and couldn't be happier. Good luck.

[mamamille]

I say take your time, go around to the smaller local no-kill shelters cause they have already done temperament testing, and just go every weekend and spend some time meeting the dogs. They also have events where they bring dogs to a local vets or pet store, and you can see the animals outside of the shelter. We took about 3 months before we found our dog. I feel it was a crap shot cause they didn't even tell us about her when we would go and visit; we just saw her at an event and she was so calm with a crowd of kids around her (she knew if she behaved she wouldn't have to go back to the van)
We were very surprised at the discrimination the shelters showed us because we had a 3 year old. And if a dog was "playful" or rambunctious they wouldn't even let us consider them. We looked for an older puppy- she was 14 months, and breed was of no matter to us, it was all about the temperament. I would recommend getting a dog with a lower energy then you, cause having a high energy dog with kids is no fun in the park... you will be adding another kid!
And it might sound a little kooky, but I did offer a little intention out to the universe- as this would be my first dog and I did have a little kid. But we hit the jackpot. She's not perfect, but all the things I complain about are just puppy things- jumping up, being distracted, etc. She was in the shelter for over 4 months! and I don't know why other than she's a pitt mix. But she lets my daughter maul her, and she hasn't touched any of my dd's toys. She has a box that she goes into when she wants to play. My dh and I really don't think she was an abusive case, she was picked up on the streets. She is just really happy to be with us. If I had to do anything differently I maybe would have looked to get an older dog cause she needs some serious physical run around time for me to feel like we are doing her justice.
Good luck

[nd_deadhead]

Another source of adult dogs is breeders. The woman from whom I got my Corgi currently has 5 adult dogs available (I've known her for 9 years, and she's never had this many at once before). Sometimes they are retired show dogs that aren't top quality breeding stock, or retired from breeding, or they are pet puppies who came back for some reason (one of her current dogs came back because he kept herding the new owner's cats). They are all well-socialized and live in the house - I would get an adult dog from the right breeder in a minute.

Of course the trick is finding the right breed, then the right breeder, then one who doesn't live 800 miles away!

[Heavenly]

Definately a pug! Pugs are small, don't need a lot of exercise, gentle and wonderful with children. My best friend has a pug and he's amazing. We are currently on a wait list for a pug and the mama is due at the end of this week!