2 middle name logistics

[mamazen2five]

how does it work when guardian and eventually grown child fill out documents and there's one space for the middle name, or mn initial? anyone w/ 2 middle names (or have a child w/ 2 mn's) care to explain what they've chosen to do? do you end up picking one? (and does it complicate things in any way?)

also, what are some reasons some have picked 2 mn's for their lo's? is "just because" enough, or was it simply to honor several family members? (i'm sure both, but would love to hear) thx.

[~Adorkable~]

I have 3 middle names, only one seems to have family significance and that is the third one. For anything paperworky I just use the first of the three, i only pull the others out when I'm being silly. I tend to think most folks end up kinda dropping or just egnoring any more than their "main" middle name.

[Lauren31]

Personally, the two middle names thing seems pretentious to me and sort of redundant, imho.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I gave each of my kids 2 middle names because I wanted to honor family members who had passed on and because I had names I loved and didnt want to loose. Plus the names I wanted wouldnt have fit with the first name if just used alone but with both middle names they flow nicely.

With my dd her first name is Alenna and I wanted to have her carry the name of an Aunt who died in infancy but Alenna Francis dosnt flow well at all while Alenna Jade Francis flows perfectly. Same with my ds Xander Wesley (after dh's grandpa) dosnt work but Xander Dwight Wesley works great.

As far as paper work goes I always use both middle names I make them fit somehow. I have yet to not put both names and wont just use one because that isnt truly my kids name IYKWIM. Sometimes I just use the initials while others I put the full spelling depending on which the form is requesting.

My ds's SS card has his 2 middle names on it as well as first and last name. While my dd's SS card dosnt. I would have had dd's changed right away but I though it wouldnt fit. Then I had ds and realized that it would fit they just didnt put them both on there. I am going to eventually get it changed to where it has both.

Each of my kids names mean something very specific to me and it was very important to use them because of that. I honestly dont know how anyone can just settle on less than 3 names I couldnt do it.

[MyFullHouse]

Out of my 4 kids, #4 is the only one with two middle names; one for my FIL and one for my grandfather. (#4 is FIL's first bio-grandSON, and the first great-grandchild who won't have the chance to know my grandfather... but I didn't want to use either name as a first name.)

We go with whatever works on individual forms. If there's a long space, it's Xxxxx Yyyyy. If it's a shorter space, it's Xxxx Y. If it's a single little box, it's X. If it's one line for first and middle, it's Wwww X. Y. And when he's getting yelled at, it's always Wwww Xxxxx Yyyyy!

I'm not the biggest fan of 2 middle names just because of the logistics, but they fit ds well!

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

Personally, the two middle names thing seems pretentious to me and sort of redundant, imho.

I agree. They get dropped awfully quick because
a) no one calls you all that
b) they don't fit on forms

[gunnarsmama77]

My son (5) has two middle names (after both grandfathers--because we didn't want to do just one and hurt the other ones feelings in case we didn't have another boy) and it has not been a problem at all thus far. When it's something asking for middle initial I put VJ, usually that's all they want on those box forms, and on his birth certificate and school stuff I just put in both middle names. It wasn't a big deal at all, and we still do use both names to get his attention, etc. It actually feels kind of weird to me that this baby probably won't have two middle names.

[RedOakMomma]

Dd has two middle names in order to preserve her full Korean name (we adopted). We haven't had it be a problem at all. In forms, she uses her first middle name. On her social security card, etc., there are two middle names.

What matters is that she knows and loves both her names, and that they both have tremendous meaning and significance to her. It also will allow her to use any combination of names (Korean/American) with less hassle when she's older.

[lalemma]

Our kid has two middle names because it's common in my culture - one of his middle names is for my father, one is for a naming tradition that relates to my given name.

I'm not bothered if other people think it's weird that my son has an extra name - FirstName MiddleName Father'sLast is only the norm in certain parts of the world.

Sometimes it fits on forms, sometimes it doesn't. I am not uptight about it.

How often do middle names - actually get used by non-family people in casual discourse, anyway? Most of the time you only hear about someone's middle name(s) because you specifically ask "Hey, what's your middle name?"

I pretty much think of middle names as "home names".

[XanaduMama]

My kids both have 4 names. A first name, a second name, then mylastname & dh'slastname. ds has dh's last name, and mine as a second middle name; dd is the reverse.

Not sure about the form thing...that's something they can figure out when they're older. If I have to pick a middle initial, I use their second name.

[potatocraft]

Ds has two middle names. We just decided that instead of picking a family name for both the first and middle name we would give him an original first name and each pick a family name for middle names. So he is named Fynnaghan Carter Toby T____. It works. Soon to be sproglet will be named in a similar fashion.
As for forms, either the whole name fits or we use CT for initials. Cause we are weird like that.

[blizzard_babe]

I live in an area where LOTS of people have several middle names, for cultural reasons. Basically, babies are named after someone who has died recently. If a lot of meaningful-to-the-parents someones have passed on recently, and the parents are so inclined, babies end up with quite the assortment of middle names... plus one or more Yup'ik names, which are unofficial but often what the kid goes by in daily life .

As a teacher, I've seen this dealt with in different ways on paperwork. If the first middle name is short (like joe), there's sometimes room for the second (or on a fill-in-the-bubbles kind of thing, a few letters of the second). Some use just the first middle name. Some use the initials. I *think* it depends on the context. For the Social Security Administration and maybe taxes and such, you have to include them all (???). For other stuff, consistency is what matters.

[St. Margaret]

I have two middle names-- I added my maiden name as a second middle name when I got married, since I could do whatever I wanted as I changed my last name. Mostly I just use my middle initial-- it's like that on my credit card, and most things want to match that. My DL has both names and my last name is on a second line, which throws some people checking it, but no issues. I was careful about what was needed when signing mortgage papers since my mom said one time just signing with her middle initial wasn't enough when she refinanced and she had to go back and redo it, but anyway, I don['t know about school forms but normally it's not a big deal, just be consistent. Things like tickets matching names on ID is important when flying these days, but otherwise you'll be good.

Lots of people have two middle names-- like all Catholics. We get a saint's name at birth and we choose one at confirmation. I wanted to add my saint's name legally at the same time, but it didn't fit on the form then, and I didn't want ellipses on my DL! Too hard to remember what it said exactly.

[jeninejessica]

My husband has two middle names, one family and one church (after a priest). Most of his ID says Robert Vincent-Wesley, his Driver's licence says just Robert VW, and things where he can't fit both he just puts in his first and second, not the third. Officially he has all three names, but for the most part the 'official paperwork' that can't fit the number of letters required is stuff you're never going to look twice at.

Worth a thought actually-- his is legally hypenated on his birth certificate, and so I think that's how he gets away with using VW as a "middle name" on some of the documents. But this wasn't actually even on purpose, his mother didn't notice it until they pulled out his birth certificate for something when he was in high school. In reality, regardless of what's on the legal paperwork, it's the names you use, and how you use them that matter.

[triscuitsmom]

Originally Posted by philomom

I agree. They get dropped awfully quick because
a) no one calls you all that
b) they don't fit on forms

a) IME noone except family uses the middle name even if there is only one. I can most definitely say that for us I have never in my life used only one of my children's middle names if I was full name calling them. Why would I give them two to just use one? If my oldest gets called by his full name by me or anyone else in his family it is and always has been T_____ W_____ J_____ D______. Same goes for my younger one (different names though except for last obviously).

b) I don't really see that this is a reason to not name your child a name you love. I know someone with only one middle name and one first name and her name is long enough it doesn't always fit on forms. My sons both have shorter (as in number of letters) names than her despite having an extra name. Also more forms than not I have been able to fit their whole names on because it is more and more common to have longer names whether because of "extra" middle names or because of hyphenated or nonhyphenated double last names.

[Jenne]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

Personally, the two middle names thing seems pretentious to me and sort of redundant, imho.

Love the judgement!

Dh has 2 middle names. I have a hyphenated last name. So we each have 4 names. Therefore, our kiddos will have 4 names. It is *our* family's tradition. I understand not every family makes that choice but I hardly think that makes it pretentious. In some places in the world it is actually very common.

On forms, you simply leave a space and write in the next name or as much as will fit. Or you drop one. Or you raise a ruckus that forms are so arbitrary as to dictate how long someone's name should be. With my long last name I frequently wind up missing the last few letters. Not a big deal. Both of DH's middle names are short and usually fit in the space alotted. I will say that having a hyphenated last name has been far more complicated then what Dh (and my brother who also has 2 middle names) has said about any issues he has had.

Jenne

[Nox]

forms do equal culture, but only for some

Originally Posted by triscuitsmom

a) IME noone except family uses the middle name even if there is only one. I can most definitely say that for us I have never in my life used only one of my children's middle names if I was full name calling them. Why would I give them two to just use one? If my oldest gets called by his full name by me or anyone else in his family it is and always has been T_____ W_____ J_____ D______. Same goes for my younger one (different names though except for last obviously).

b) I don't really see that this is a reason to not name your child a name you love. I know someone with only one middle name and one first name and her name is long enough it doesn't always fit on forms. My sons both have shorter (as in number of letters) names than her despite having an extra name. Also more forms than not I have been able to fit their whole names on because it is more and more common to have longer names whether because of "extra" middle names or because of hyphenated or nonhyphenated double last names.

as someone who's made lots of forms for parents to use i think it's important to remember that forms are made for bureaucratic purposes, and if someone can save paper/space by leaving room for only a smidgen of a middle initial they will. it's completely arbitrary.

naming on the other hand is a deliberate and hopefully thoughtful process a parent goes through to bestow their best intentions on their child. imo, that shouldn't be swayed a great deal by forms.

[CherryBomb]

My husband has two middle names (for each of his grandfathers). He usually just pust down the first mn if there's not enough space on forms. Our son will have two middle names as well (one of dh's middle names and dh's father's first name), I imagine he'll do the same and I'm not concerned about it. Dh's sister also has two middle names and she's never had any problems, either.

[BeanyMama]

Originally Posted by Jenne

Love the judgement!

LOLz!!!!

My daughter has two middle names (Maria-Teresa), which are the middle names of DH's mother and of mine. On forms I write both if there's space. If not, I just write Maria. It's never been a big deal.

[jeninejessica]

Originally Posted by Jenne

Love the judgement!

I wanted to echo this.

It is not only one heck of a presumption, but also an incredibly rude thing to say to someone who is obviously considering gifting her child with two names.