Downsizing home post-divorce

[meandmine]

This has been a long time coming ...

For awhile, I thought, and some advisors thought, I could afford to stay in the marital home, but with my most recent visit to the financial planner -- she did a great job of making clear the difference it would make if I sold my place and bought something even just $100,000 cheaper.

I'd go from spending 40% of my income on housing to 26%! I could also pay off cc debts and get a much lower mortgage interest rate.

Refinancing my current, relatively large house, would get me the lower interest rate and I could pay off debts by rolling them into the refi, but my housing would still be 40% of my income.

So, I have been scrambling and without even listing my house, I had two contracts for more than I thought I would ask. But, finding a place that is right for my kids that I can afford ... that is the tough process. I just don't want to compromise on schools and where we live that means more expensive homes.

I wrote a contract on one place that has a lot going for it and I offered a fair market price based on recent sales. Owner won't budge; she knows what they sold for "two years ago" and thinks the price will go back up." so should wouldn't negotiate with me at all.

In the meantime both the contacts on my house are rolling up their papers and going away because I can't find a "home of choice" and set a settlement date.

All this and I should be focusing on a) my kids b) my new job teaching at a school only five minutes from home.

Instead here I am sleepless worrying about whether this move really does make sense, whether all this looking and potential packing is good use of my time when I have new job to get ready for ...

So grateful I am off work for the summer so I have some breathing room, although this takes up a great deal of that room.

Wish me true wisdom and inspiration as I try to sort out what is best for my family.

Thanks!

M

[Thystle]

What way does your gut pull when you sit and really listen to it?

[meandmine]

Thanks for asking Thistle. I realize I was pretty much rambling.

My gut and my impulses are hard to tell apart at times like this; I kinda love house hunting; always looking for the greener grass.

I will tell you that when I wrote the contract on the one house I felt relieved and upbeat ... save me $400 a month, lots lower maintenance because a)it was a townhouse, b) had had almost everything done to it so I would just need to paint, c) kept my girls in their same school and d) kept this amazing commute I just got by switching where I teach.

Problem is ... seller and I are are $19,000 apart and she won't move and the price she wants is way over current market.

So, then there just isn't much else that meets my criteria. I looked at a bunch of places that kinda sorta did, but I didn't have that same positive feeling about making the move.

I just hate spending my time on this instead of on getting ready for my new job, paying attention to my kids and reading my head off with the new books coming out for my students (I am a librarian).

Thanks for helping me.

M

[SleeplessMommy]

Don't buy the house priced "over market" ... you will always regret that.

Can you get a 6 or 12 month rental and take your time to decide? I would be in tears to walk away from a well-priced sales contract on my home.

[meandmine]

Thanks, Sleepless!

And that would be me last night ... sleepless! Ugh.

It helps to hear back from folks other than my realtor :-). I am not sharing this with irl friends because there are too many uncertainties right now.

Yep, not one but two full-price contracts on my house. One has gone away because I could not find a place in *one* week to move to and their buyers wouldn't wait any longer. Still waiting to see if the other contract can give me a couple of weeks to find a place.

Not inclined to interim rental unless absolutely unavoidable -- single mom, two kids, full-time job, too much stuff ...

These contracts came in by word of mouth, so if I ever actually "went on the market" I suspect I would have a bidding war and an offer above asking, so I am not too worried.

I am worried about a) timing; I want to get this done before I go back to work and I want to take advantage of the low interest rates now, b) having to go on the market; I just don't have the time/energy/desire to stage the house.

And I just want to find the "right" thing for my kids and me! That's key. I don't want to go through all this if a) it doesn't save me ALOT of money and b) I don't find a really positive place for my family.

Thanks so much for your feedback!!!!

M

[A&A]

Have you checked out www.coabode.com? If your house is large enough, you could take in another mother from this site and get some rent from her.