Two weeks later....
On Thursday the 1st of July I went to my midwife's appt, I had been having bloody show and every night labor would seem to be starting only to stop in the morning for a week. She found me to be 3cm, super soft and 75% effaced, head in place. With my permission she stirred things up and off I went to walk. Thursday and Friday night the contractions would start up around 8pm only to stop at the same time in the morning. Lots of nice bloody show. So Saturday night I decide to go see some kick ass bluegrass (Hackensaw Boys
) at a local winery. We leave the winery and as soon as I walk in the front door my water breaks at exactly one minute until midnight (and my edd). Everyone gets excited, my Doula is staying with us she decided to get some sleep, I decided to clean to try and encourage things, my dh decided to drink coffee to counteract the micro brew 
. I fall asleep in between scattered contractions and wake up to NOTHING but the leaking water. My midwife wants me to call as soon as my water breaks, but I decided to wait at least 12 hours, which I did. When I call, the midwife on call (George, whom I love), listens to me tell him why I am not coming in, the slippery slope etc., he says just come in so we can see what your body is doing, we wont lock the doors or windows. I go in, he checks me and CANNOT FIND MY CERVIX, as in it is sooooo posterior he cannot find it, as in the baby's head is floating so high there is no longer pressure on the cervix, as in the baby must have been doing the gym rope climb up the umbilical cord to prevent her from having to leave the womb ( at this point it is important to note there had been some serious discord between dh and I, so when Ina May says love is what put them in there, love is what you need to get em out I am a believer!). So of course I feel disheartened, my last two births were relatively short, completely natural births. I ask the midwife for time and decide to walk and rest. At around 5 pm, 17 hours from my water breaking, not a contraction in sight, I agree to dance with the devil, start the pitocin and lets do this. The universe must have known I needed to have some more time because the midwife had another more high risk birth to attend so my pit was stopped and with it any contractions went too. A few hours later pit was restarted, and increased at 30 min intervals, as soon as the interval was up my contractions would start spacing, so my body was not cooperating. At 4:30 am on Monday morning, 28 hours after my water broke, with the pit at 15
(maximum is 20), I called for the epidural, bypassing my Doula and dh, as a side note...pit contractions for me started like a horse out of the gate, no warm up just straight to the holy @#$*&#...so after two successful, completely natural births I was exhausted and discouraged and in PAIN!!! The epidural guy came in and my Doula said something about carrots dangling and how I, as a trained Doula, know this...I heard none of it because I did not want to...the epidural went in, I during this process went complete and had to push immediately, 3 pushes later she was born at 0526 on Monday morning...what a waste of an epidural 
, her head had no molding at all because she floated up until the last moment, she was an 8 and 9 in apgars, alert, thankfully the epidural had no time to dull her, and had a little mucous from not being squished, her umbilical cord was super long...and now at two weeks she is still smaller than any baby I ever birth coming in at 8lbs 2oz, which is 11oz over her birth weight. She is a super mother sucker, I and everything around me smells milky...this, my last birth, was not my ideal and I have some guilt with not waiting for nature but becoming impatient and having my membranes stripped, what if's can be killers, so I am working on releasing my ideals and finding peace with myself and my body...and of course the healthy baby helps...
On Thursday the 1st of July I went to my midwife's appt, I had been having bloody show and every night labor would seem to be starting only to stop in the morning for a week. She found me to be 3cm, super soft and 75% effaced, head in place. With my permission she stirred things up and off I went to walk. Thursday and Friday night the contractions would start up around 8pm only to stop at the same time in the morning. Lots of nice bloody show. So Saturday night I decide to go see some kick ass bluegrass (Hackensaw Boys
) at a local winery. We leave the winery and as soon as I walk in the front door my water breaks at exactly one minute until midnight (and my edd). Everyone gets excited, my Doula is staying with us she decided to get some sleep, I decided to clean to try and encourage things, my dh decided to drink coffee to counteract the micro brew . I fall asleep in between scattered contractions and wake up to NOTHING but the leaking water. My midwife wants me to call as soon as my water breaks, but I decided to wait at least 12 hours, which I did. When I call, the midwife on call (George, whom I love), listens to me tell him why I am not coming in, the slippery slope etc., he says just come in so we can see what your body is doing, we wont lock the doors or windows. I go in, he checks me and CANNOT FIND MY CERVIX, as in it is sooooo posterior he cannot find it, as in the baby's head is floating so high there is no longer pressure on the cervix, as in the baby must have been doing the gym rope climb up the umbilical cord to prevent her from having to leave the womb ( at this point it is important to note there had been some serious discord between dh and I, so when Ina May says love is what put them in there, love is what you need to get em out I am a believer!). So of course I feel disheartened, my last two births were relatively short, completely natural births. I ask the midwife for time and decide to walk and rest. At around 5 pm, 17 hours from my water breaking, not a contraction in sight, I agree to dance with the devil, start the pitocin and lets do this. The universe must have known I needed to have some more time because the midwife had another more high risk birth to attend so my pit was stopped and with it any contractions went too. A few hours later pit was restarted, and increased at 30 min intervals, as soon as the interval was up my contractions would start spacing, so my body was not cooperating. At 4:30 am on Monday morning, 28 hours after my water broke, with the pit at 15 (maximum is 20), I called for the epidural, bypassing my Doula and dh, as a side note...pit contractions for me started like a horse out of the gate, no warm up just straight to the holy @#$*&#...so after two successful, completely natural births I was exhausted and discouraged and in PAIN!!! The epidural guy came in and my Doula said something about carrots dangling and how I, as a trained Doula, know this...I heard none of it because I did not want to...the epidural went in, I during this process went complete and had to push immediately, 3 pushes later she was born at 0526 on Monday morning...what a waste of an epidural , her head had no molding at all because she floated up until the last moment, she was an 8 and 9 in apgars, alert, thankfully the epidural had no time to dull her, and had a little mucous from not being squished, her umbilical cord was super long...and now at two weeks she is still smaller than any baby I ever birth coming in at 8lbs 2oz, which is 11oz over her birth weight. She is a super mother sucker, I and everything around me smells milky...this, my last birth, was not my ideal and I have some guilt with not waiting for nature but becoming impatient and having my membranes stripped, what if's can be killers, so I am working on releasing my ideals and finding peace with myself and my body...and of course the healthy baby helps...
Take good care of yourself.
and 
to you as you wrestle through this! I'll be thinking of you!
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