Weekly Chat Thread - July 19-25 - Page 5

[Lemoncello]

Thanks, Heather! That's the thing...I am trying to do as much research as I cannn so that I know what to expect. I'd be really curious to know how many of my friends did anything beyond the usual hospital childbirth classes! I want to be well informed so that the whole experience is empowering and beautiful, not this horrible, frightening thing I just have to "get through."

Forgot to mention that as we were talking about the whole circ issue, they started mentioning little boys they knew whose circ had been done wrong and had to have surgery later to get it fixed....so, um, there's a good reason for my decision right there, huh?!

[LadyCatherine185]

Lemon-- I got all of the same stuff when I was pregnant with DS. All of the flack I got about having a NCB was more ammunition for me to do it without drugs. Yes, it hurts. Bad. But, going into it with the mindset of "i am going to get through this without drugs" is at LEAST half the battle, IMO. Most women go into it knowing that drugs are available, and they get them. They don't prepare for the labor ahead of time, knowing they can get relief from the epi, etc. You can do it Mama! And when you do, think of how great it will be to tell all those other mamas..

As per the circ-- she asked you what medical benefits there are to NOT circ'ing??? UM, hello!? That is so backwards!!! That would be like asking what the medical benefits there are to keeping your fingernails and toenails. It is so sad that we have to defend keeping a perfectly healthy body intact.. especially when there are NO medical benefits to a purely cosmetic, painful surgery. UGH.

[Stitches]

I'm having all sorts of wacky dreams but so far just one involved babies...the other day I dreamed I gave birth to twins, it was so vivid and intense and I could feel myself pushing and everything. Now, the u/s lady assured me that there was only one in there so hopefully it means nothing!

With DD I had very few baby/labor dreams either, but one was bizarre, I had this baby, and it was this teeny, tiny little doll like thing, that turned into a little grey haired lady wearing a nametag who started lecturing me. It was really creepy!

Lemoncello-I know how you feel. I rarely ever discuss my birth plans or parenting philosophy with anyone else except those I know think the same way. I hate being put on the spot to defend myself when I shouldn't have to. I've done hours upon hours of reading and research of my own only to be put down by someone who hasn't thought about the subject more than 10 minutes in their life and who just spout off these societal norms like a sheep. When I do get grief I tell them, hey, I've done my research and we don't have to agree on the subject, and I don't judge you for your decisions. Like Heather says, don't let them discourage you. You know what is best for you and why and no one can take that away from you.

[kittywitty]

Happy Birthday, Catie!

Lemoncello-I've soooo been there. I have major mama brain. Anytime I need the info I've stored in my brain it seems to be on vacation. I can barely put a sentence together sometimes on things I'm an expert on!

[Ellen Griswold]

Lemoncello, that just stinks! I'm sure that you were looking forward to your time with your friends and then to have them rain on your parade is just not cool. I'm a mom who DOES do medication for birth for various reasons, but I hate the way that women judge each other when it comes to childbirth and parenting. I think it is just awesome that you want to have a NCB experience. Stick to it just to prove them wrong!

Either I'm already nesting or just sick of a dirty house. Today I mopped then scrubbed our very large kitchen floor (because I could barely tell that I had mopped). And guess who was the first person to spill on it this evening? Off to go work on ds's closet. Wish me luck. If you don't hear from me again, I've been sucked into the abyss...

[SashaBreeze]

Happy, happy birthday to our birthday mommies!

Lemon hang in there and tell people to BACK OFF! It sounds like you are making wonderful, heart felt, well researched decisions and that is a LOT more than I can say for at least half the moms I have known.

Oh my what a day I have had. I was going to post earlier today but I needed to calm down and collect myself first. I have been sobbing all day. I had a horrific MW appointment today. The boys and I are fine all of our stats and everything are the picture of health. But they are trying to steal my birth from me and I feel like I am starting a very long up hill battle as of today against our local medical community and birth standards. I am already weary just thinking of the fight I have ahead. I will be posting details in a plea for advice over on the birthing forum. What should have been a glorious day of being reassured that this pregnancy was going great turned quickly into a major bummer.

[FarrenSquare]

I read your thread, SashaBreeze, I'm so sorry.

[Ellen Griswold]

SashaBreeze, .

[SashaBreeze]

Thank you both.

I came back on here because I couldn't sleep and I was hoping someone had posted an idea on what for me to do. Plenty of looks but no responses. I'm guessing that the situation really is as depressingly unchangeable as I first feared it was.

I really am tempted at this point to just

On the plus side though I have really been trying hard to stay focused on the boys and keep in mind that whether or not I get the birth I wanted is not the end of the world. I think I am going to head over to our List thread and try to get back into that warm glow of expectation again. Maybe head over to Amazon and do some virtual window shopping, you guys made it sound super fun. Yes, just the pick me up I need.

[HeatherB]

Sasha. I read but didn't have a chance to respond yet. That happens a lot when I'm reading from my iPhone but want to type more than a few sentences. I will go back and see if I have anything to offer! Don't give up just yet.

Virtual shopping on Amazon is an almost guaranteed mood-lifter. Of course, it also can make one even more impatient to meet these little ones. Hope it worked for you!

[ocelotmom]

This evening, one of the cats got locked in a dresser drawer. The results were Not Pretty. And, being the one who is not allergic to cats, I got to clean it up, leading to throwing up for the first time since first trimester.

Maybe I'll have less heartburn tonight because of that?

And now I have to figure out how it happened. DS and I both saw the cat jump into the open drawer. I said "Aw, how cute", left the room, and totally forgot about it until the horrible stink an hour later. Did DS shut the drawer on purpose? Did I come back in the room, see the open drawer, and close it to neaten things up? With my brain as it is these days, I wouldn't put that past myself, but neither would I put it past DS (not in a malicious way, just in a not thinking of consequences way).

I'm telling myself it could be worse - the cat could be having some sort of medical or mental problem, and this could be an ongoing issue.

I know you all really wanted to know about that, but it was too gross not to share.

I had my first (probably) appearance-inspired comment about my pregnancy today!

[Ellen Griswold]

Ocelotmom, I really feel for you at this point.

Anybody else starting to feel baby hiccups? I think that I've felt some for the past 2 nights in a row now when I've laid down in bed. I know they're totally normal and natural and getting baby ready and all that. But for some reason, they crack me up. I mean, baby isn't even breathing yet! But, good practice, I suppose. I don't remember feeling them this early with the other kids.

[kittywitty]

SashaBreeze

LOVE Amazon window shopping. Hope it cheers you up!

Ocelotmom-geez. Sorry for that. One of my cats got locked in the fridge when I was a kid. We had no idea how-must have been left open and someone ran by and shut it. Poor guy was fine but I've been traumatized ever since!

Baby hiccups-I think so! I have been swearing baby has had them strongly for over a week but thought it was too early. But if you are, too, then I guess I'm right!

This kid is a total hyper monster, too. Constant movements in the evening for like 7+ hours. Craziness!

[Lemoncello]

Thanks again to everyone for your encouragement! I went back and reread some of my research, and I my decisions were reinforced, which made me feel better. Plus, when I mentioned my friends reaction to the no-circ thing, and the part of the conversation about complications and resulting surgeries to fix things, he was, of course, totally on my side! He said it was painful to him just to think about....he reminded me that I don't have to listen to everything they say, just because they are my friends...and that I don't need to talk to them about our plans or ideas, either. I love that man!

SashaBreeze--sorry to hear that you have come to a difficult point and that you feel like you have to fight for the birth you hoped for...as if pregnancy and birth were not challenging enough on their own! Hoping things will work out for the best!

ocelotmom--It's always something when you have pets, huh? I have come upon my three inside drawers many times, but none of them was ever actually inside long enough to have an accident. Sorry about that! I have one kitty that often regurgitates her food, which is not normally a problem for me to clean up (as long as she doesn't make it to the carpet)...but during the first trimester DH had to do it for me a few times. And he has a much weaker stomach when it comes to that sort of thing, poor guy. I'm going to have to go easy on him with changing dirty diapers once our little man arrives!

[my kidlets and me]

Happy Birthday, Catie, and Happy Anniversary, Heather - we were married in '99 as well!

Sorry to hear about cats throwing up and bad dreams and birth plans gone awry - I don't have time to post much here, but I've read it all and I sympathize.

[mzminty]

Sasha, I haven't read your post, but it sounds like you're up against a very disappointing hard place, and for that I'm so sorry!

We're such a chatty group that I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone's news!

Lemon, I know you've gotten lots of advice already, but I have to add my $.02! Only a very few of my friends "get it" about my birthing/parenting style. The rest of my friends are great women who sometimes laugh at me or give me a hard time about my beliefs, but I still love them! And a few have been won over to my side just based on what they've seen me doing or talking about. Don't let yourself feel discouraged because you haven't actually had that natural birth experience yet, or because all of the literature you've read supporting not circ'ing has flown out of your head. Find the women who support you (even if it's just us!) and as for the rest, you don't have to defend yourself to anybody. Stay idealistic and the proof will be in the pudding!

Everybody keeps talking about virtual shopping, but I'm afraid to even look around too much because I've got myself on a strict budget. I did go to a few resale shops the other day and found a bunch of nice-looking maternity clothes in my size for super cheap! I was thrilled to pieces to not have to spend a lot of money clothing myself, yet didn't have to settle for ill-fitting, worn out stuff. I also bought some little 0-3 mo outfits for my Biscuit. I don't even believe that girls have to wear pink, but I think I'm so excited about having another girl that I only realized after I got home that every single thing I bought was pink!

My brother and SIL are in from out of town this weekend with their brood (my SIL is pregnant with #8), so there will be lots of visiting and hanging out going on, and lots of kids running around screaming (with happiness, I hope!). I'm glad, because it'll be too hot to do much else, and work has been super stressful for me lately. I need to have a break and forget about it!

I'm usually a very vivid and prolific dreamer, but lately I don't think I've had ANY dreams. I've either been unable to sleep or sleeping so hard that I have no recollections of any dreams. It's too bad, because I'm really a believer in dreams being a way to get in touch with your intuition, Self, etc.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a nice weekend! Stay cool!

[SashaBreeze]

Hello today everyone.

Thank you so much for everyone's kind words. Today is much better, I am getting my mind wrapped around everything. It is amazing how different the world can look with something as simple as a change in point of view and the gathering of a little courage, with the help of like minded people of course.

Today is gorgeous! I have had so many people talk to me and comment on how miserable I must be to be so very pregnant in summer and how much worse next month will be. Well I say shush to all those people. My two most favorite foods in the whole wide world are out and flourishing, tomatoes and blackberries! It takes longer for the grass to grow in all this heat, so more time for my hubby to be with us on his days off. And I have the worlds most perfect reason for sitting back in front of the fan and watching all this wonderful life run around me, while being served iced tea by willing hands as a bonus! I think it is fair to say I am back to my warm fuzzy place again.

Lemon, I was thinking more about your friends pro-circ talking. You know I had several friends that thought I was crazy that I was not circing our son even AFTER I provided them with information. I think it was a combination of one them never having seen an intact penis and feeling intimidated by the thought of the unknown and two it is a very difficult thing for people to wrap their minds around the idea that doctors do not always make decisions based on what is best from a HEALTH stand point. So in a way of encouragement I just wanted to say that after those very friends saw me with my son and saw how easy it is to care for the intact penis many of them have changed their tune and do not plan to circ any future sons. So I hope that is what happens with you and your friends.

Ocelotmom, bless your heart that could not have been fun at all. I remember that is similar to how I found out I was pregnant with our first son. We had a new puppy and it got locked somehow in the laundry room..... yeah I got a little to close and personal with the toilet after trying to clean that up. Then I thought to myself "wait... why did that make me so sick?" then the next thought was "wait.... when was my last period..." I feel for you that you had to clean that up. yuck

Oh and for the record cyber window shopping was a blast! Which took me totally by surprise because I HATE shopping in real life. So thank you to all for talking about it. I think I found a new pass time.

[Stitches]

Sasha breeze- I don't have any words of advice but I really am pulling for you that you will get the birth you want in the end.

Ocelotmom- not fun. Having recently dealt with a pukey, scooting cat I feel your pain. My cats TRY to get locked in our closet, they get in there and hide behind the clothes. We have come several times to meowing from behind the door, but in truth they like it in there, it's a great place to nap. As a rule we always do a cat head count before we leave the house for more than 8 hrs.

AFM- I am so . My basement is done, done, done!!!!!! I have my house back, no more strange men in and out the door, no more noise, now I can clean and organize and park in my garage again. Woot!! Can you tell I am excited?

[FarrenSquare]

Lemon, that sucks. I hope your friends learn to keep their mouths shut. I'm hoping I won't have to argue about circing because a)I feel like not circing is pretty common where I'm from. and b)babydaddy never was and is HORRIFIED at the idea of doing that to a baby, so if anyone even asked about it - I'd just say there are so benefits to it, an why would we do it if daddy isn't the same?

I've been having bad nightmares lately. Last night I had a few of my re-occuring anxiety dreams and then I had a nightmare about you ladies! It was so weird, I've never had an internet-based nightmare before. You all had general people shapes and were wearing signs around your neck that stated your sign-in name so I knew who was who.

And then I had a whole bunch of nightmares about my mother being present at the birth. We have an... interesting relationship. We do love each other dearly, but mostly my mom chooses to dismiss my feelings, ideas, and excitements at every turn. I know this stems from her own childhood and personal issues and I try to just live my life and be understanding of her behaviour patterns. In my dreams she was constantly dismissing all my birthing desires and just generally making me feel awful about the process. We haven't 100% invited her to be present during the birth, but I know she did express excitement at the idea of being there. Ugh. I was up for about two hours thinking about our relationship in the middle of the night, which has made for a sad and tired day. Excuse me while I lock myself in the bathroom stall at work and cry.

[ocelotmom]

Originally Posted by mzminty

Everybody keeps talking about virtual shopping, but I'm afraid to even look around too much because I've got myself on a strict budget.

Yeah, it is a bit dangerous. I keep finding little things to add that I realize I'll probably end up buying now that I've thought of them (lansinoh and things like that), which I hadn't previously even thought about and probably would have been perfectly happy without.

Originally Posted by SashaBreeze

Ocelotmom, bless your heart that could not have been fun at all. I remember that is similar to how I found out I was pregnant with our first son. We had a new puppy and it got locked somehow in the laundry room..... yeah I got a little to close and personal with the toilet after trying to clean that up. Then I thought to myself "wait... why did that make me so sick?" then the next thought was "wait.... when was my last period..." I feel for you that you had to clean that up. yuck

Hehe, I first began to suspect I was really pregnant when looking a slideshow about wound care in class made me feel lightheaded.

Originally Posted by SashaBreeze

Oh and for the record cyber window shopping was a blast! Which took me totally by surprise because I HATE shopping in real life. So thank you to all for talking about it. I think I found a new pass time.

Yeah, I hate real life shopping, too. Actually, that's not true for baby stuff, but I definitely have more fun cyberwindowshopping for clothing than really shopping for it.