FREAKED out....the va jay jay is mentioned

[elf]

So of course right now I 100% assume my daughter has been sexually molested by someone.

She was just in the bathtub and tried to put her foam letter "I" in her ear. When I told her that she can't do that b/c it is dangerous to put things in her ear she said, "I know where else it fits....in my butt" and proceeded to shove the letter "I" in her va jay jay.

If nothing else, I am sure Freud would not agree with my reaction. I completely freaked and yelled "no, no, no....do not put anything in there".

Of course minutes later she put it back in and said, "look mommy, it fits in my butt".

So here I am not sure what to do. Do i call the pediatrician? is this normal? she goes to a good daycare and the only person she is ever alone with is her dad, aunts/uncles and a few grandparents.

She just turned 2. How does she know there is a hole there and that you can put things into?????

[Thing1Thing2]

I have no experience with this whatsoever, but I would ask her if anything else has ever been in her "butt".

Is there ANYONE at all that you have EVER left her alone with?

Can you make an appointment with a pediatrician or a child counselor asap?

If it was my child, I would be 100% sure as well. I hope it turns out to be nothing...

[earthmama369]

Honestly, that sounds pretty normal to me. The way she said it seemed like she had a pretty healthy awareness of her body. At her age, that kind of exploration is common. Obviously, listen to your instincts, but there's nothing there that would obviously make me worry about abuse.

[serenbat]

Honestly, that sounds pretty normal to me.

me too, I would expect them to know by at least that age about all their holes and it have nothing to do with molestation

I simply would not go on that alone to start jumping to conclusions.

[LadyCatherine185]

I would also ask her if anything else has been in there.. if someone else has put something in there, or shown her how to put things in there, etc.

FWIW, my DS plays with his penis a LOT and is very aware of it and other people's "privates" as well. But his are on the outside, so I think it is a little different.

[feminist~mama]

it sounds normal to me too... my dd stuck a tinker toy in her labia once and told me "look mama, i have a penis!" (we then had a very calm talk about where toys go and hygiene...)

[lmk1]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

I would also ask her if anything else has been in there.. if someone else has put something in there, or shown her how to put things in there, etc.

FWIW, my DS plays with his penis a LOT and is very aware of it and other people's "privates" as well. But his are on the outside, so I think it is a little different.

I wouldn't ask a leading question like "if anything else has been in there" at 2 years old. My son is 2y8m and he kids around a lot and would very likely say something, whether it's true or not ... like if you ask him who farted, he would say "Percy" (percy is a train). I would say that you should make an appt with your pediatrician, because a ped can examine her for signs of abuse. But there are many ways that kids can find out about their privates, playing in the bath, someone could say something to her about her poop coming out, the TV, overhearing adults' conversation...

[KempsMama]

I don't have a little girl, but my niece is going through a phase in which she has put things inside her, and I'm almost certain she's never been abused, it's just a normal part of toddler self exploration.

[treeoflife3]

Is she actually trying to put things in her VAGINA? Or is she just putting things between her labia? At her age, I knew there was a space between the labia AND I had discovered the clitoris (I didn't know what it was used for.. just that I had a funny bump that mommy said was normal) but I don't recall knowing about the actual vagina being a place that goes inside my body.

With that said, I think it is perfectly plausible for many toddlers to figure out there is a hole there.

[zinemama]

It would never have occured to me to leap to the conclusion you did. I don't understand how your daughter's awareness that she has openings in her body (that she has clearly explored, the way kids do) translates to an assumption of molestation.

[Drummer's Wife]

It sounds normal to me - however, if you seriously think there is a chance she could have been abused (and has been out of your care), then by all means make an appt with the ped. I just don't think what she did in the bath is indicative of sexual abuse alone.

[scottishmommy]

I'm not sure why you think a child of that age wouldn't know they had a vagina. I mean they know they have feet, ears, eyes, mouths etc. If you're really worried you could make an appointment with the pediatrician, but otherwise I would just tell her that she could hurt herself by putting things in her vagina, or "butt".

[gorgorita]

Yes, it totally could be normal but comparing it to my 2.5 year old, I would say it's very alarming. the thing is that my DD discovered her vagina very early on - we ECed so she played and touched herself numerous times. However, even at 2.5 she just starting to learn that there is a little hole in there and only recently she learned the difference between butt and vagina. Not even close to putting things in. I think the age for major exploring down there is close to 3.
I would have asked her questions how she knows especially if she is full time in dipes.
Just my 2 cents.

[butterfly_mommy]

I don't find your DD actions alarming at all but I do find yours a bit alarming. Your using the phrase Va jay Jay and not naming her Vulva/Vagina lets her know it is something that you are uncomfortable with. Also your strong reaction to her experimenting with her body was also probably pretty interesting for her to witness.

My DS has put his finger in his bum and I am positively sure that he has not been molested. Kids play with their bodies and are interested by them and do not have the same hang-ups that we adults do. It is normal and healthy.

I know that my DS loves getting a reaction out of me. A few weeks ago we were at the zoo and he was eating grapes and he put one between his lips and sucked it into his mouth while inhaling. I got pretty upset at him and told him he could choke and that a little boy last year died at the zoo when he choked on a piece of apple (try story and so sad) DH also reacted pretty strongly and of course DS does the exact same thing again. Realizing he wanted to see mama "freak out" and tell him the story of the little boy choking again i instead just put the grapes away and didn't say anything to him.

If this is not the whole picture and your instincts are saying something else then for sure pursue it. This as an isolated action is not alarming to me at all. Good luck mama

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I don't see anything weird about what happened in the bathtub. And unless you have previously told her not to put things in between her labia or into her vagina, why would she think she couldn't? She stuck it in her ear no problem, what the difference between an ear and a butt or a vulva anyway? Just different areas.

[zippy_francis]

My DD is 2 1/2 and she has tried to put the same foam letters you prob own down there as well. Not so much inside the vagina but more in the labia. I dont think you need to be alarmed, i do believe it is normal exploration for that age. It is funny because she calls it her 'butt' too. Even though we have gone over it a million times that is her vagina, and her butt is behind her. (but hey it kind of looks like a butt )


If it would make you feel more comfortable to take her in, do it. But I think it is along the lines of normal.

[JBaxter]

Yup little girls play with their girl parts as much as boys play with theirs. A good friend of mine's daughter about age 3 1/2 poked metal hair barrettes into her vagina ... When asked why she said to make them disappear.
Her mom has the xrays they took before they sedated her to get them out.
short story is... yes things do fit in there.

[Super~Single~Mama]

May I make one recommendation? Teach her the proper terms for her "girly parts" if you haven't already. If you are concerned about possible molestation, she needs to know them for legal purposes (va jay jay doesn't count). And, its important for her to know what each part is called (labia, vulva, vagina, etc).

[fairejour]

My daughter stood up in bath one day and showed me her "pocket" and made a toy disappear in her labia. Totally normal.

[InMediasRes]

This seems normal to me too. My daughter is only 17mo and knows that things can fit in between her labia, and I'm 150% sure she hasn't been molested.

My DS went through a phase of putting his finger in his butt at that age. We talked about hygiene and being safe, but it's normal developmental stuff to explore down there. It feels good to them and they don't have any hang ups about it like we do.

And I agree with PP - you should consider teaching her the names of her parts and talking calmly about it with her. The more emotion you load into it, and the more you make it a scary/shameful thing to talk about, the less likely she is to bring it up with if (Heaven forbid) something did actually happen.