I don't even know if this pertains to this forum or not...I guess I post here out of default.
Since XH doesn't seem to be coming back into our lives, I want to make other arrangements instead of waiting around. Generally, on week-ends, we (my mom, dad, DD and I) hang out, run errands, take DD to the kiddy waterpark nearby and take it easy. Sundays used to be XH's day with DD; I'd started taking dance lessons that day nearby XH's place. It made it easier to go get DD after I was done. Now that he's not involved, I still want to do the one thing I get to do by myself, but it means DD stays with my parents, and these days, she can be a handful. Also, my mother has been showing signs of being at the end of her rope (she works FT at the age of 60 and helps me A LOT with childcare), so I thought that hiring a sitter for a few hours could give everyone a much needed break. When I mentioned this to my mother she was very unhappy with me, saying that DD spends enough time away from home, etc etc...then again, she was suffering from a pulled back muscle and wasn't even able to care for DD properly. Anyhow...
I got in touch with DD's old DCP from when she was a baby. I've always loved how this woman, let's call her M, took care of the children in her care. She got DD to walk and to eat purees and to nap away from home. She's just got that magic touch it seems. During the time DD went to the daycare M worked at, I helped her a great deal with things like immigration issues, landlord-tenant disagreements, etc. I've been in touch with M since she was let go from the daycare. I helped find her two part-time jobs, one of which didn't work out; the other seems ongoing. I don't know what she does for money these days, but from speaking with her, she sounds like she's in dire straits AND really misses working with kids. So, the babysitting seemed like an ideal situation: I need a sitter once every week or two, for 2-4 hrs on Sunday, and she needs extra cash. And she lives close to the dance school I go to...
The visit was overall a success. It didn't take long for DD to M and she really likes her. The departure was tough, but when I came to pick DD up, she was happy as pie and didn't want to go home. When it came time to pay M, she outright refused.
I was a bit confused and insisted, but she kept redirecting me, saying "oh another time", all the while asking if I needed next Sunday or the Sunday after.
I don't really know how to deal with this situation. I would like DD to have a few regular babysitters, and to be somewhat used to the idea of being babysat at someone else's place, but I don't want to take advantage of anyone!
Input?
Since XH doesn't seem to be coming back into our lives, I want to make other arrangements instead of waiting around. Generally, on week-ends, we (my mom, dad, DD and I) hang out, run errands, take DD to the kiddy waterpark nearby and take it easy. Sundays used to be XH's day with DD; I'd started taking dance lessons that day nearby XH's place. It made it easier to go get DD after I was done. Now that he's not involved, I still want to do the one thing I get to do by myself, but it means DD stays with my parents, and these days, she can be a handful. Also, my mother has been showing signs of being at the end of her rope (she works FT at the age of 60 and helps me A LOT with childcare), so I thought that hiring a sitter for a few hours could give everyone a much needed break. When I mentioned this to my mother she was very unhappy with me, saying that DD spends enough time away from home, etc etc...then again, she was suffering from a pulled back muscle and wasn't even able to care for DD properly. Anyhow...
I got in touch with DD's old DCP from when she was a baby. I've always loved how this woman, let's call her M, took care of the children in her care. She got DD to walk and to eat purees and to nap away from home. She's just got that magic touch it seems. During the time DD went to the daycare M worked at, I helped her a great deal with things like immigration issues, landlord-tenant disagreements, etc. I've been in touch with M since she was let go from the daycare. I helped find her two part-time jobs, one of which didn't work out; the other seems ongoing. I don't know what she does for money these days, but from speaking with her, she sounds like she's in dire straits AND really misses working with kids. So, the babysitting seemed like an ideal situation: I need a sitter once every week or two, for 2-4 hrs on Sunday, and she needs extra cash. And she lives close to the dance school I go to...
The visit was overall a success. It didn't take long for DD to M and she really likes her. The departure was tough, but when I came to pick DD up, she was happy as pie and didn't want to go home. When it came time to pay M, she outright refused.
I was a bit confused and insisted, but she kept redirecting me, saying "oh another time", all the while asking if I needed next Sunday or the Sunday after.
I don't really know how to deal with this situation. I would like DD to have a few regular babysitters, and to be somewhat used to the idea of being babysat at someone else's place, but I don't want to take advantage of anyone!
Input?
