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Originally Posted by meemee  who will be doing the supervising during those 3 hours? if no supervision then where will he see ds?
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No supervision
He will be free to take ds wherever he wants (including his house because we can't prove he smokes in there as he and his wife claim he doesn't and never has since they moved in).
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Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama Aha, now we see the interest in getting more custody on paper to reduce child support even though he won't actually use the time.
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Yup, pretty much. He and his wife sat there and told me that he was getting snipped after this baby is born. I just filed that in the "way more info than I ever needed to know" category (along with the "it's about dang time" category" lol).
Anyway.... longer update....
So we got to court and ex and his lawyer wanted to strike a deal. I agreed (am starting to have regrets though). So basically my lawyer advised me to try and work together with ex but when/if he fails we'll take it right back to court. So we worked together (with the lawyers) and agreed to ex calling ds twice a week and, if he maintains that, he will get ds for 3 hours fri/sat/sun in October when I bring ds to Michigan. Provided he does that and continues the calls then he gets the same when I bring ds to Michigan in December. So the lawyers sent us on our way to figure out the details (times, etc) ourselves and then I was supposed to call my lawyer today to let her know so she can write up the papers.
So I went to ex's house yesterday to talk to him about all this. I brought my dad and ds (both of whom stayed in the van while I went inside). I did this in case ex asked to see ds he could have just popped outside and seen him. I stayed for about 40 minutes, during which we had a decent talk (with his hawk of a wife standing over us
). He was eager to talk about pretty much everything (his wife, his new kids, his house, how he's been "sober" for almost a year, mutual friends of ours that he's seen recently, etc). Everything except ds. He NEVER ONCE asked how ds was doing. He never once asked anything about ds. Nothing.
When we were deciding on the days/times he would call as well as what time he would have ds on those weekends his wife was standing right behind him TELLING HIM WHAT TO SAY. WTF?!? I just wanted to say "this doesn't involve you so BACK OFF". When I was talking to ex about how and when to use ds's inhaler and epi-pen he just kept looking at his wife and asking "you know how to do that, right?". As if he didn't need to learn that stuff because his wife knew! ARGH!
So I had all night to think about it and by morning I had decided I'm not agreeing to this. He didn't see ds at all this weekend (I offered him time) or last weekend (I offered him time- that was his scheduled visit). He hasn't seen ds since MARCH. He hasn't talked to him since MARCH. I am not sending my child with some virtual stranger he hasn't seen since march (in October that will be 7 months since he's seen him). I'm not doing it.
So it is currently being worked out between the lawyers but I'm not agreeing to this unless ex comes to Kentucky for a weekend in August or September to see ds (supervised by me until I know ds is comfortable). If he does that at least ds has a chance of remembering who he is come October when he's supposed to go alone with him. If ex refuses to do it then it'll go to the Judge. If ex does agree to all this but skips ANY phone calls or any visits then the deal is off and it goes to the Judge. As part of it I also have right of first refusal so he can't just pick up ds and drop him off with his wife (when his wife heard me telling ex what ROFR meant she was PISSED OFF!).
During our talk I also mentioned the whole medical insurance thing. I don't think he really understood what I was telling him until he heard me say "according to our last child support order you're responsible for 76% of all uncovered medical costs". His jaw dropped to the floor and the look on his face was PRICELESS!!! I only wish his wife was there for that one, but she had already stormed out of the room after we were talking about ROFR. LOL! He stammered out a "well I'm going to look into what medical coverage I can get through my work..... I'll let you know". Yeah, get on that buddy but I'll believe it when I see it. It was ordered 6 years ago and you still haven't even "looked into it". I basically told him not to be surprised when he starts getting mega medical bills in the mail for ds. hahahaha. Best part of the evening, by far
YOU had to compromise
