So this is how overscheduling happens

[limabean]

I've always been against overscheduling for my kids, and am starting to freak out about how our fall is going to be! DS (who will be in 1st grade this year) is in swimming lessons right now and since he's a total beginner we're planning to keep those going for a few months. He's also been dying to play soccer (once a week, a combined practice/game), so we signed him up and that will start in late August. Then, for his birthday (in October), he wants a guitar and lessons. He also wants to do karate at some point. Oh, and I heard that his school might offer Spanish classes (after school once a week), and he expressed some interest in that too. Ahhhhhhhhh!!

Maybe this would work:
Do swimming and soccer for now
Quit swimming when guitar starts in October, so he'll have soccer and guitar
When soccer is over, sign up for karate, so he'll have guitar and karate

And I guess decide later about Spanish, since I don't know anything about the program yet. What do you think? What are your kids signed up for? (I'm mostly interested in answers from people who try not to schedule too much here -- I know there are families who are comfortable doing much more.) Do you put rules in place, like no more than 2 things at a time?

[philomom]

Soccer and karate are the big ones. Most of those will involve two times a week practice and eat up your weekends with games/matches.


Swimmimg lessons are best in winter or early spring because its cold/snowy/rainy and there's nothing to do. Indoor pools can be a winter doldrum lifesaver.

Guitar lessons could be Saturday or Sunday afternoons with a private teacher or a music store.

Spanish after school is great but may interfere with the twice a week karate/soccer practice that you may have going.


Oh, yeah... I definitely kept my kids to two things at time.

[zinemama]

My son takes guitar lessons. It's something he's really interested in, so we're encouraging it. I am not a schedule-type. I wouldn't do more than one activity at a time, personally. I see the way other parents (mothers!) have to always rush from here to there, the way weekends are never leissurely anymore because of travel to soccer games, etc. That's not how I want my family to be. What you have in mind sounds like an awful lot on the plate of a kindergartener,

[limabean]

Originally Posted by philomom

Soccer and karate are the big ones. Most of those will involve two times a week practice and eat up your weekends with games/matches.

Thanks for your response! I edited my OP to clarify, but I'll say it here too: the soccer and karate are both once a week. That's one of the things I really like about the soccer league we signed up with -- at this age, they just meet once a week for a combined practice/game.

Originally Posted by zinemama

What you have in mind sounds like an awful lot on the plate of a kindergartener,

My thoughts exactly! I gotta pare it down a bit.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I just wanted to chime in that I loved doing all those activities as a little kid! I have so many memories of violin lessons/recitals, soccer games/practices, and all different sports at different ages, karate at one point. I know it was a lot, but I loved it!

I think it you can keep it so that you aren't too stressed out, and as long as your child isn't feeling overwhelmed or anxious about it (and of course, you are not forcing it, he's wanting to do it all) then its fine! I think the problem with over scheduling comes from parents pushing too much on kids - but when kids love what they're doing, I don't see a problem with it.

[shamesa]

overscheduling

I can completely empathize -- I have 3 kids with very different interests, and now that they're old enough that activities meet more than once a week (soccer and baseball both meet THREE times a week), even keeping each to two activities -- one art/music and one sport -- means we spend all of our time running around.

However, I think a big factor is how much down time your son needs. There are 1st graders who are happiest when they're very busy and others who need a lot of down time to function. If he's new to full-day school, I'd start very slowly on activities. If he's more of an introvert, I'd try one thing at a time. But if he's an extrovert who thrives on activity and these activities are his idea, it will likely all work out just fine.

[mamazee]

My daughter does two to three things, and only things she really and truly loves to do. If one was something like soccer, it would be one to two things, since that's such a time bandit. Even what my dd does seems like too much a lot of the time. But she loves those things so much she wants to do them more than she wants the free time.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Our house rule is one sport and one "other" activity per child. So DS does karate and Adventure Guides and DD does gymnastics and Brownies at the moment. DD is going into 2nd grade and we are struggling with the fact that she is really good at gymnatics and has now made the demo team -- so that added a second night of practice and about 1 performance a month. Luckily Brownies is only twice a month, so it seems like a good balance. But when you add that DH and I sing in the church choir and that takes one evening a week as well, it does get a bit hectic. I think you have a lot more freedom if there is only one child. With two you have to balance both the actual activities AND the time they spend waiting for a sibling, when they still aren't home relaxing or playing. And its not a great way to do homework either.

You might also want to wait until school starts before making too many commitments to see how the homework load is for this year. I know with both kids there were some years where the homework shift from grade to grade was more than expected.

[pigpokey]

I'm a home schooler and have spent 3 years designing very packed schedules for the afterschool hours. If there was a certification in afterschool planning I'd apply.

In this age group where they may or may not practice well throughout the week, the benefit to cost (time, effort, money, mileage) usually goes way up between 1x a week and 2x a week.

Do they teach Spanish at school already? If they do, supplementation may be helpful. If they don't, 1x a week may not have much bearing on his Spanish learning. If he really wants to learn Spanish, he'd be much better off with Rosetta Stone, which he can do consistently or just on weekends but taylored to his progress, not a group's. Plus your younger child can use the same program in a couple of years. I'd consider saying no to this.

If you don't care about strokes / pre-team type development, and he's not afraid of the pool, if you can do some family swimming time every weekend year round, he will be able to teach himself to swim and probably your other child too by next summer. Yes, you do need to get there but on your own time and probably cheaper.

The soccer is low investment now. Since he's very motivated, start that and table karate. If he gets into it, he may be satisfied with the one sports activity. At his age soccer will go in one of two directions. He'll either quit or you'll be going 2 days, then 3 days a week in the next couple of years is my understanding (I am not a soccer mom but all the soccer kids I know have either quit or gone academy by 1st - 2nd grade). If it's not his thing you'll probably know fairly quickly and can do karate then.

Music lessons are excellent support for overall mental skills and being musical can be very pleasant lifelong. You will need to add the teacher's practice requirements to your homework load.

With a go-out-and-get-'em type child who wants to do a lot of things, is there a school choice available to you that would allow more of this to go on during the school day? E.g., near me there is a public elementary school of the arts where they can study an instrument in school, and another public elementary school that is partnered with a YMCA to take the kids over for swimming lessons and the nearby public golf course to teach the kids golf, instead of more typical PE.

[limabean]

Thanks for all your insights!

I think it's good to just be mindful of all of it and take it slow, and possibly institute a maximum number of activities if it starts to seem overwhelming for any of us. At first we were like, "Great, swimming! Sure, no problem! Oh, you want a guitar? That'd be fun and good for your brain, so sure!" But after he mentioned a few more things to us we starting thinking whoa, we better slow this down before it takes over our life!

I think karate and Spanish are definitely sidelined for now, so we'll do swimming for now, then soccer, then phase out swimming, then introduce guitar and see how that goes.

It could be that he won't enjoy the team sport, or will decide that music lessons aren't for him, and the whole thing could change up. But yeah, we really enjoy just chilling out at home a lot, so I don't want to have too many obligations each week.