Imaginary Friends: When do they go away? Can I kick them out? Charge them rent? - Page 2

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Sabrina the Teenaged Witch?

Yay!

I had a bit of a crush on that cat when the show was on the air.

[One_Girl]

My dd is seven and has an imaginary horse. Early on in her imaginary friend stage I told her the friends would need to take a break if they weren't going to listen or that they were all going to lose a privilege if they didn't scurry and help dd do what I asked her to do and that helped her to keep the imagination to a bearable level of annoyance (I am surprised it worked though because we really don't have any privileges and the few times I have told dd she can't watch a movie because she was being horrid at the store I haven't actually followed through because my annoyance is gone once we are home). Have you tried limiting it or telling him he needs to come along even if his "friends" aren't. If there is something you do with your children when they don't listen then I suggest talking to him about how he needs to listen when it is time to leave a store even if his "friends" aren't or they will all have that consequence.

Do you think he doesn't realize he is imagining the friends? My dd has always known she is using her imagination so she was fine with me telling her that her imaginary horse (her latest friend) will need to get in the car now or find his own way home. It is sometimes part of the game and she has me scold the horse out of his nonsense. I am not sure what to suggest if he truly believes that the characters he is imagining are truly real.

[Earthy Mama]

Ooh, tell the Nicholites they need to guard the house while you all are out!

[Aquitane]

I think this is absolutely adorable. I'm sure it is annoying, but WOW! what an imagination!

DD is 7.5 years old and she's is gradually letting go of her imaginary friends. She had two, Ana and Hayla, they also had extensive backgrounds. In the last six months she hasn't visited with them as much, so there is hope!

I had an invisible friend named Chuck until I was about 6 or 7. I am not a billionaire, nor did I live for any extended period at my parents'! Nicholas will eventually let them go. I'm guessing that he needs them, for whatever reason.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Earthy Mama

Ooh, tell the Nicholites they need to guard the house while you all are out!

I like it.

He did really well today with the "No Nicholites at homeschool" rule. I think I was just reluctant to stifle his imagination. But I feel good about placing limits.

He does think Rico and Nacho are real, and the rest were pretend. How strange is that?

[Rafman'sMama]

Ha, Ha! As I am reading this, my 3 1/2 year just came to me dressed in full armor and told me he and his monster friends are going to fight and capture dragons in the scary hollow....

There are advantages, like when he and his monster friends chose out some unhealthy snacks at the grocery store. I let them get them because the snacks were also invisible!

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Yay!

I had a bit of a crush on that cat when the show was on the air.

That show was one of my guilty pleasures. Dh couldn't imagine why I watched it. It was just brainless enough and silly enough for me to enjoy. And it was far more up to date than Bewitched (which I still find highly amusing, but now it's more for just how dated the gender roles are!)

[kate42]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

That show was one of my guilty pleasures. Dh couldn't imagine why I watched it.

Same here! I still watch it on reruns when I can. I loved Salem's moaning, "Ohwhoawhoa", sound he made.

My DD (almost 7) has an entire fantasy world called Barbieville. Sometimes she acts it out with the dolls but it's just as common for her to have her world set up in her head.

[Mountaingirl79]

My DS #1 had an imaginary friend " Jimmy" until he was 8 or so. He even knew where he "lived", he lived near one of the places we took walks.

He outgrew that, but sometimes we still reference it. I always went along with it, as if it were real. My youngest never had an imaginary friend so I dont know....

I think it will pass.

[dentmom3]

My DS #2 has one named Broccoli. He's been around for nearly a year, he changes age, moves from one house to another within our town. He even lost his dog due to an unfortunate allergic reaction to pancakes. We saw his dad at the store once.

I can see how the Nicholites drive you nuts! Making me wonder about Broccoli's future. And making me wonder about the stress/imaginary friend relationship. We've had a rocky couple of years now and I don't think that is why our youngest has an imaginary friend but it would be interesting to see if we hear from Broccoli more in the hard times.

[annettemarie]

I love hearing everyone's stories. Seriously. Although I'd love to hear more stories about how the imaginary friends go away, LOL!

We were in the car for three hours yesterday and Nicholas was having a cell phone conversation with Nacho.

What? They've taken over the yard? And they found out secret traps? DAMN! DAMN IT ALL!!!

Sigh. It's always the pastor's kid.

[gretelmom]

I just read this in Newsweek and wanted to quote a paragraph for you (I'm retyping so don't mind some typos):

"In middle childhood, kids sometimes create paracosms-fantasies of entire alternative worlds. Kids revisit their paracosms repeatedly, sometimes for months, and even create languages spoken there. This type of play peaks at age 9 and 10, and it's a very strong sign of future creativity. A MSU study of MacArthur "genius award" winners found a remarkably high rate of paracosm creation in their childhoods"

From Newsweek July 19, 2010 "The Creativity Crisis" ...
This article is great, because it doesn't just say "being creative is great!" the way we've been saying it forever. It's not about being artistic or dramatic or growing up to be a free-spirit. This article is about solving the world's BIGGEST problems, about keeping up in global markets, etc.

Also this tells you it will peak and end around 9 or 10... So there you go!

-joanna

[annettemarie]

That makes me feel much, much better. The odds against him living in our basement just got better, LOL!

And did I mention, there IS a Nicholite language?!?

[GuildJenn]

I think he sounds great. I also think you would really like J.D. Salinger's "Uncle Wiggily in Conneticut" (it's in Nine Stories). I probably just butchered all the spelling.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

That show was one of my guilty pleasures. Dh couldn't imagine why I watched it. It was just brainless enough and silly enough for me to enjoy. And it was far more up to date than Bewitched (which I still find highly amusing, but now it's more for just how dated the gender roles are!)

O/T But you can watch on Youtube. Not saying I have or anything...

Back on topic:
Nicholite language? That is just cool. Be prepared to retire early when he makes millions on a fantasy novel and/or TV show and/or movie.

[hakeber]

Benjamin regularly needs to phone into the station house on Sodor island to consult with the drivers and the two controllers on the Island. There are more fires involving Percy than you can shake a stick at, and James is the biggest coward ever.

Every time we pass some filthy germ encrusted public phone he runs over to make a call. Yesterday he really wanted us all to wait in the middle of the town in the blazing sun until this group of about seven teens made phone calls (presumably to their parents to let them know where they were). I offered my cellphone but apparently cellphones can't reach Sodor Island, only land phones can call there.

I think he just loves pretending he is an important player in their world, someone in the loop. But when it results in a whiny pouty fit in the back because Daddy won't stop the car at each Emergency Phone along the highway to check on the Engines, I start to get a little fed up.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by hakeber

I think he just loves pretending he is an important player in their world, someone in the loop.

This really spoke to my heart, and I wonder how much it is true for Nicholas.

He's also sucking his younger brother in. Daniel will blame the Nicholites for stuff, or speak in nonsense words and then say "It's in the Nicholite language!" with the "Duh, Mama!" implied.

With Nicholas, it's not so much that he tries to pin stuff on the Nicholites, but he honestly does seem to expect me to keep up with this entire imaginary world he's created, and seems a little put out when I don't.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

With Nicholas, it's not so much that he tries to pin stuff on the Nicholites, but he honestly does seem to expect me to keep up with this entire imaginary world he's created, and seems a little put out when I don't.

Benjamin does this to me too! He's says "Mommy, I just told you Thomas is at the docks, How can he help Toby and Edward with the fire on the rickety old bridge? That's on the other side of Sodor, Mommy!" Like I'm the crazy one!

ETA: I guess I should count my lucky stars Sodor is so far away and can only be communicated with through Public phones...and bananas.

[SkyMomma]

I am soo enjoying reading this thread - 'tho it makes me realize that I haven't heard from 'Cattie' and the 'cat-friends' for a while.

DS1 adopted his imaginary friend 'Cattie' at around 3 or 4. Slowly, an elaborate world, populated with specific 'cat-friends', it's own language, a relationship to fairies and santa claus, geography, a strong alternative energy platform, and a completely consistent theology, developed. The most recent addition to this world was 'cat-rate', the catworld version of Karate. He does have a sense of the Cattie & catland as being imaginary, but he says "that doesn't mean it's not real". I completely believe that he right.

I also know that he uses catworld to play out themes that he (or I) feel less than comfortable with (like cat-rate). Last year a number of the catfriends died and I heard alot about their after-life experiences, what happens when beings die in catland, etc.

I have had to put certain boudaries around catland - like 'just because its OK in catland, doesn't mean its OK in our world'. I've never had a problem with him accepting those boundaries.

In general, I'm thrilled that he has a friend and a place that feels completely safe to him to play out anything that's challenging him.