try to wean before baby comes?

[babybirkel]

My son is 18 months old and we're still enjoying our nursing relationship. I am pregnant again, and he's not really showing signs of slowing down anytime soon, and I am not sure what to do. I don't want to wean him yet, especially because it is such a big comfort for him, and he's sensitive to dairy so he doesn't really drink other milk (except for coconut milk occasionally). But I am worried about how tandem nursing will work with a newborn and a 24 month old.

I have to go on a week long trip in October for work and if I haven't weaned him by then then I am assuming I will need to pump a little to maintain my supply, but I'll be in my 3rd trimester by then and I don't want to cause preterm labor (I don't know if that would cause preterm labor, but I've heard it's not a good idea to pump colostrum in the 3rd trimester because of the risk of preterm labor, so I don't know how this would be different).

It makes me really sad to think of weaning him...I'm just not ready, and I don't think he is either.

What would you do? Wean, even though you don't really want to? Pump while away and hope he nurses when I get back (and hope I don't go into labor)? Tandem nurse? Try to wean AFTER the new baby comes? Just play it by ear?

[Vegan Princess]

Hi,

I don't have an answer about pumping while away. But I do have an 18 month old nursing fiend and am actively TTC so this has been on my mind a lot. My daughter is way attached to nursing and not ready to wean. I have low milk supply so I can't easily tandem. I think if supply wasn't an issue, I would definitely leave it up to her. That said, you might want to reduce the frequency of nursing before the baby comes. My SIL just had her 2nd. Hers are 2 yrs apart almost exactly. Her oldest nurses only 1-2x/day so it hasn't been a huge deal to let her keep going. I think she nursed 4-5/day right until my SIL got pregnant...then she worked to reduce it.

You still have some time to think about things. You could try and see how he is doing in a few months and reassess as it gets closer. Good luck!

Cindy

[SundayCrepes]

My son was 31 months and nursing 8 times a day when my daughter was born. (She's adopted so I didn't have the pregnancy with toddler stuff.)

Your toddler's suck is MUCH stronger than any pump could ever be, so don't worry about causing pre-term labor. The big reason to pump will be to relieve any discomfort you might have. However, most likely your not making much milk now so it may not be an issue.

I have tandem nursed for almost 2 years now. I don't like nursing them at the same time, but sometimes it's all there is to do. I am so glad I have nursed them both. I am ready for my 4.5 year old to wean. I'm doing CLW so it'll happen when it happens.

I will never look back and wished I'd nursed my kids longer. (Actually, I will be stopping my $85/month milk medications when I runt out of my current stock. I've been on them for over 2 years and just can't keep buying them for a 2 year old. I hope that doesn't cause her to wean since she still nurses multiple times a day.)

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

I have low milk supply so I can't easily tandem.

You may find that with the stimulation of your current child and a newborn during the first few weeks post-partum that you end up with a whopping supply.

Why do you think you have low supply? Did you have breast reduction surgery? Did you have to supplement? If you are basing this thought on not producing much when you pumped (a common misconception,) don't worry about it. A lot of women have plenty of milk for their babies, they just don't make milk for the pump.

[fruitfulmomma]

No, you don't have too wean!

I doubt that by the third trimester that you will have much left to pump anyway so I would not worry about the time you have to be gone. You could probably just hand express if you do get engorged. Unless you are specifically at risk for premature labor there should be no problems there at all with bf'ing or pumping if you need to.

Good info on tandem here... http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html

And I would bet that he would be glad to start nursing again when you get back and/or after the baby is born. Usually by that time I am so sore I am kind of pushing the older one away but we always resume after a few weeks (or days - they really help with engorgement) after the baby comes with no problems.

[Vegan Princess]

Sundaycrepes: Yes, I did have breast surgery. I tried every herb and drug out there and still only made about half of what my daughter needed. I do have hope that trying everything right from day 1 this time will help me make more and I hear women generally make more with subsequent babes so I am hopeful...but likely I still will have to supplement some. But I'm thinking if DD nurses after the babe it will be like pumping to stimulate more so perhaps that wouldn't be a problem. I just know I won't be able to nurse a newborn and a toddler that nurses as often as a newborn - she would only be able to nurse once or twice a day, after the baby or on my lower producing side - which she pretty much hates.

OP: Sorry to hijak!

Cindy

[babybirkel]

Cool, thanks all. I hadn't thought about my son's suck being that much stronger than a pump, but now that I think about it...

I am honestly just afraid he'll be done and won't want to nurse when I get back. Plus I will have to be away from him for 6 DAYS and the very thought makes my heart hurt. I would miss him like crazy...and I know he'd miss me, too. I just wonder if it would be traumatic to be away from mama for that long...the longest he's ever been away from me was 2 days when my DH and I went on a little trip for our 5 year anniversary.

anyway, i have time to figure it out....thanks for your responses.

[D_McG]

I wouldn't feel comfortable pumping in the 3rd trimester, personally.

[babybirkel]

D McG, because of the risk of preterm labor?

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by babybirkel

D McG, because of the risk of preterm labor?

Yes! Although maybe that's unfounded. I never had any urge to tandem nurse!! So I'm probably biased.